Wayward Side
User Topic: Pain
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)

I'm working on me, making decisions for the betterment of my life. I might get a federal government job, was sent an email that I was highly qualified and they'd be calling me soon to interview. That's good, I can transfer just about anywhere if I got that. Talking to friends and family and I know in my heart I will not date for a long time. I want to get myself to a good place and love myself more before I attempt anything again. I know that's my choice and has nothing to do with xSO and his behaviors.

I am staying here until I save enough money for my own place. I hear phone convos, not purposely but its a small apt. I hear women's names, I hear clubs and bars mentioned, I hear him talking about how be likes his women to look, and I know he's still talking to the woman he was in love with all those years ago while being with me, the one he reconnected with a couple months ago. It all hurts, I want to run away yet I don't have the money and I can't stay with any friends right now. I'm sick right now, too many 60 hour work weeks trying to get money quicker and my heart hurts. Logically I am telling myself it doesn't matter, his life is his life and you must focus on yours but my heart is still breaking. I'll get through it, I have to.

Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."

Posts: 2762 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)


Sweetie, it WILL get better- and when it does, it will get a WHOLE LOT BETTER!!

Posts: 11754 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:14 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

(((Unagie))) You have come so far, this is the home stretch. I can imagine how difficult it is for you right now. Hang in there, you'll get there.

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 38079 | Registered: Sep 2007
OK now
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

My heartfelt sympathies. When you are waist deep in boiling water its not much consolation hearing how things will one day be much better, but there's not much else we can offer to ease your pain.

I agree with authenticnow; its the home stretch and end of this misery is in sight. You won't have to cope with this dreadful isolation much longer.

Posts: 1748 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

((HUGS)) lady. I hope you're able to move out soon.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

Hey there, Hugs to you (Unagie)) Life must be hard and scary, you can do it though. Take these conversations you hear as the final nail. Realize that you have done what you could and howmuch effort you have done. Realize that you tried and it just couldn't be fixed it takes two. And it isn't that way. You are strong. You have courage, and you still have life to live and love. MOST OF ALL you DESERVE TO LOVE YOURSELF AND BE LOVED FOR YOU!
Remember this you are a beautiful person!!! I sure hope you getthe job:-))

BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6

Posts: 437 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, September 23rd (Monday)


I'm sorry you're hurting. You really have come a long way. Be proud of that!

Good luck with the job.

Sending strength.

FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

I edit often because I make a lot of typos. ☺️

Posts: 1499 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
Member # 37775
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

You have done so much to fix yourself, he has done very little (obviously). Once your out of that that place you will begin to feel that pain lifted.

Sending you strength ((Unagie))

BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people

Posts: 439 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Thank you guys. Have been sleeping most of the day trying to get rid of this cold. I know it will get better but it helps to hear it from you guys too.

Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."

Posts: 2762 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5978 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Topic Posts: 10