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User Topic: Did the Karma Bus Hit!!!!!
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Revenge  Posted: 12:03 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

My story:
My STBXH started an affair in HI when we were stationed there. We moved to AZ almost 3 years ago. From that time on, it was an EA.
I discovered his affair 3/25/13. I told him to get out. He left, but came back the next day. He pretended NC. He came back but he was pouty, resentful, and unrepentant. So, I got fed up, and went 180 for about 8 days. I got tired of pretending I didn’t know about his secret phone. When I gave him the ultimatum of give me the secret phone and initiate NC for real, or move out, he moved out for about 2 hours.
Then I decided I didn’t want this M anymore if he was going to be this entitled acting still. I informed him that when I came home, I was packing and leaving him.
Three hours later, he came to my job, took me to lunch and poured his heart out. For several weeks before he went back to Afghanistan, he gave me hope with his remorse and transparency. Within four weeks of being in Afghanistan, he was back to contacting her.
He came home a few weeks ago. He moved out the very next day, changed his phone to his plan and took himself off of our family plan. Within two weeks of moving out, he bought her a ticket to move in with him in his lurve nest! The whole time telling me he was trying to get right with God. That God was showing him some things that he didn’t like about himself. He just needed this time to get himself together and right with God. He denied having any ulterior motives of still being with her and denied he was still dealing with her. Whatever!
But then, he started being nice. Denying she was here, and putting money in the account in order “to help”. Started giving me little signs that he was still contemplating R.
Then he wanted to contest the adultery fault. We are in a covenant marriage. I cannot D him or even LS in a covenant marriage unless he has violated one of the eight reasons for D in covenant marriage.
Well, he hadn’t seen his little sweet chicky in 3 years. Oh yeah, she had sent him pictures. LOL, they were all photoshopped to the nines.
She had gained over 50 pounds and looks like she is five months pregnant. She has acne all over her face. A ton of acne scarring and pock marks. Her nose has gotten huge. And, she flirts with anyone that will pay her any attention.
This weekend, the PI caught him yelling and screaming at her like she was one of our kids. He got in her face, and he can be a very intimidating man because of his height and muscle build. He proceeded to tell her that she better not F…ing answer the F…ing door. He didn’t give an F who the F it was, period!
The private investigator waited 3 minutes after he drove off and knocked on the door. She answered it! Then he gave some bs excuse as to why he was there. The PI was an attractive young man, and he proceeded to solicit information from her. Got her to flirt with him and tell him her whole life story. How the big tall guy was her boyfriend, his name, her name, how she just moved here in the past several days to be with him. She told him that he is leaving at the end of the month and maybe she could help him after her boyfriend left for Afghanistan! Hilarious. She is hideous looking, morbidly obese, and very very unintelligent. She doesn’t listen to her “boyfriend” very well either!
Yes, the karma bus hit. He got what he wanted. Too bad he didn’t realize just how much more like Shrek she is looking these days!
Methinks he will be talking about R more and more. Too bad our D will be final in 30 days!
He came by this weekend to supposedly get “the last” of his stuff. He took maybe a fraction of his crap. Next time he comes, I will put all of his stuff in boxes and put it on the far sidewalk by the street. And then I will make it a point not to be home. While he was here, he confused me for his AP. He started screaming at me and got in my face. Oh, I was just sooooo scared. I calmly informed him that I an NOT the one to threaten or intimidate. I coolly picked up the phone and dialed 911, I lifted my shirt and showed him I was armed. I stepped back and pushed the button to the garage door open and pointed to our neighbors watching him make an ass of himself.
Funny, he was never a bully or intimidating to me during our M. I don’t know who this man is, I don’t care. Now I can be free. He and his AP deserve each other.
There will be bad days, when I miss being a wife, when I miss all the dreams for our future together and the hopes I mistakenly thought we shared.
And then, time will heal my heart and my soul. Maybe I will meet someone who is true to whom he presents himself to be, maybe I won’t. But I know that I am a good person. I am loyal, faithful, decent, loving, compassionate, and honest to a fault. He never deserved me, I was in love with a lie.
I know that my SI family will be here on the days that I get down. But I will share my joys too. I will happily pay back the kindness and insight by sharing with those who will be where I have been.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
TrulySad
Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

OMG, YOU ARE AMAZING!!! I don't know you, but damn I'm proud of you. I know it had to take strength, and you've been through so much pain... but you've handled your life with respect for YOU. Kuddos to you, and the Karms Bus for him!!!

Oh, and this:

I calmly informed him that I an NOT the one to threaten or intimidate. I coolly picked up the phone and dialed 911, I lifted my shirt and showed him I was armed. I stepped back and pushed the button to the garage door open and pointed to our neighbors watching him make an ass of himself.

Perfect!


Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.


Posts: 451 | Registered: Jun 2013
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

**********standing ovation**********


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7393 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Simple
Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Yay! More power to you!!!


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
OK now
Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

I must admit it really is comforting and refreshing to read your post. A strong woman who gave her WH every chance to get his act together, then kicked him to the curb when the doofus didn't appreciate his good fortune.

You will recover very nicely.


Posts: 1704 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Josephine01
Member
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

StillLivin,

I know this must have been hard, but you are Awesome.


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Kudos to you StillLivin!!!

It is nice to see a woman with self respect.

I am sorry that your dreams of a healthy marriage were dashed by Mr. Pathetic Dumbass. But I am so happy that you got to the bottom of this shitstorm and cut your losses and dead weight by ditching Mr. PD!

You are amazing and with this kind of personal power you will go far....his loss.

Continue to protect your heart.

(((StillLivin)))


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Thank you.
Funny, I don't feel strong at all. I feel so empty at times.
But, I did grow up with very strong women around me and I've had them guiding me the whole time.
I was righteous at teh time, a little confused at his erratic behavior...suspect he is dealing with a mental breakdown of some sort, and now I'm just sad at all the loss of it. We are both smart, successful people. I still waking up wondering, "What the HELL happened to us?"


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

OM goodness, I forgot to mention why I was armed. NO, I was not expecting that kind of trouble.
We live by a major cartel area. Someone tried to get in my home a few weeks back. I usually walk around armed when I'm out working on my property and by myself. Before my STBXH came, I was way in the back pulling weeds and cleaning up some of the property. So, I don't want to misrepresent myself that I'm some female version of Dirty Harry or something.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Stilllivin,
Good on you for standing your ground and getting the evidence. Since stbxh has demonstrated he will get in your and attempt to be intimidating I would recommend filing for an order of protection. Even if it isn''t granted, which I would hope it is, you will have it on record that he has become hostile and belligerent. Will it stop him? Not necessarily. I''ve simply heard of too many cases where procrastinating in getting this behavior on the record hurt someone''s case. Just something to consider. You wouldn''t be basing the complaint on what you''re absolutely sure he will do but what he might do in light of his personality changes.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3785 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
ILINIA
Member
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

I got goose bumps reading your post! You said it best:

But I know that I am a good person. I am loyal, faithful, decent, loving, compassionate, and honest to a fault.

Focus on you and maybe stay armed for a bit....


Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 461 | Registered: Jul 2013
StepAside
Member
Member # 29826
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

((StillLivin))

I think I just fell in love with you a little bit!

*disclaimer: in a totally confident heterosexual boundary respecting way


Me 48yrs, king of douchebagastan- 50yrs STD infected bankrupt NPD sociopathic drunk thief
countless A's, he is a predator that targets losers like himself
Last Dday 04/12/2010-Divorcing if/when his cumdumpsters lend him some $ or balls to file

Posts: 1517 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Ingersoll Ontario
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

StepAside
Awwww, thank you. I'm really really not some bad female Dirty Harry.
I am just one of those no nonsense, black is black and white is white, extreme boundary setting individuals.
I don't care and never have cared about who is doing something wrong to me. I draw a line in the sand. Simple.
Again, thank you!!!!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
HurtButHopeful?
Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

StillLivin,

I love that you are not going to be a victim...of anybody!

Sounds like XWH's life is falling apart...again.

Sorry you had to go through that. But glad you are on the other end of it, and doing WELL!


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
Hope2B
Member
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 2:39 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Girl, you ROCK! Love love love your post!

It's GOOD to witness karma!


Me: early 60s
Him: 65 yrs old, LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth Days: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
His affair--says it was only 8 times 1x/mo, then found out it was 7 YEARS 2-3x/mo

Posts: 356 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
Topic Posts: 15