SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Intentional Stupidity...Frustrating
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

POS is supposed to start sending CS beginning October 1. I have agreed not to get CSE involved as long as he pays as he is required to do. Thus, payments will be sent directly to me. POS sends an email this morning asking if the payment should be made out in DD's name...

He knows full well it goes to me, but this is his way of playing little games. He didn't seem to have any problem sending secret unofficial support to OW#1 for OC#1 directly to her for 15 years, yet now he has to play these stupid "I'm an ignorant ass" games. Then he finishes his email with a quip about keeping the emails civil blah, blah, blah.

Here is why it is so frustrating. I keep strict NC unless absolutely necessary or he asks a specific question that actually requires an answer. I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HIM, yet his stupid question about the CS requires a response, for obvious reasons. Just send me the money you owe, jerk off, and quit with the games!!

One missed payment and off to CSE I will go!!!

Oh, and remember the whole PO Box issue? Well, he said (in same email as above) that because he still co-owns property in this state (referring to the marital home) he will use that box as his mailing address. More fucking stupidity and head games. Hey asshole, since you seemed to have a memory problem, let me refresh it. You quitclaimed the property to me and it is awarded outright to me in the divorce settlement! You don't co-own DICK in this state!

Save me from these NPD assholes who believe they are smarter than everyone else and can "play" the system to their advantage....

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 12:40 PM, September 23rd (Monday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1189 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, September 23rd (Monday)


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9824 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

One missed payment and off to CSE I will go!!!

This is my motto. I've already got their number programed into my phone!


I'm sorry that POS is playing games with CS. He obviously is as stupid as he is pretending to be but doesn't know it.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
chikastuff
Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Question, why are you not going through CSE? Honestly, it's for the best of everyone involved. I would go to them regardless of what your agreement is/was.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

I would go ahead and get an application, fill it all out except for the date. Then when he's late all you have to do is turn it in.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Question, why are you not going through CSE?

Because I agreed not to as long as he fulfilled his financial obligations and, unlike him, I honor my word. But if he misses one or is late, the agreement is null and void. I can sign up with them at any time (yes, I have already contacted them to find out the process).

I would go ahead and get an application, fill it all out except for the date. Then when he's late all you have to do is turn it in.

Already done this!

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 2:05 PM, September 23rd (Monday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1189 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
justabrokendream
Member
Member # 3075
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Having CSE do the deed takes any games and ego's out of it.

Posts: 306 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: CA
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

I insisted on going through CSA from the get-go. Protection for both of us.

I will never enter into a handshake agreement with him again - parasites don't have hands!!

I understand you want to honour your agreement - I would feel the same way.

I have a feeling he will unburden you of this pretty quickly.

Is his name off the title and mortgage on your home?

Ignore the PO Box issue - what he does or what lies he tell to the Post Office are no longer your concern - it is none of your business. Remove yourself from the crazy.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Is his name off the title and mortgage on your home?

Title, yes, as the Quit Claim has been filed with the Recorder's Office. Mortgage, no, because our agreement states that it will remain joint until I am able to refinance with the same or better interest rate as what we currently have, and he has no claim on the property or equity in said property. Thanks to him fucking me over financially with his excessive spending habits, he has destroyed my credit and ability to refinance at a good rate. At least for the time being. So he is still legally responsible for the mortgage if I default on payments since the mortgage company does not recognize a divorce settlement (no different from joint credit cards), but he has no legal claim to the property itself.

I don't care about the box, it just amazes me that he really has himself convinced of his own delusional reality.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1189 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

My STBXH does stupid questions too. Not CS related, but same concept. He sends stupid quesitons about finance stuff that he already knows the answer to.
You didn't promise to hold his hand during stupid time.
I stay NC when it is a dumb question. He KNOWs he will be in contempt of court and he KNOWS what I will do!
Stupid questions get ignored.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2334 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

I agree with StillLivin. Stupid questions don't get answered. Actually, what makes you his version of "google" anyway? He can call CSE and ask if he really wonders.

And if he sends the check made out to DD, then your agreement is null and void and off to CSE and no further games on this subject.

You can't fix stupid and you can't reason with it.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Topic Posts: 11