New Beginnings
User Topic: Today is my birthday
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

It's my birthday today, the first birthday since Dday. I am 55 today and starting my life over. Did not think that's where I would be, but am grateful to be here. This day gives me an opportunity to look at where I want my life to be. It is a new beginning.

I do feel sad though. I am mourning the loss of my marriage - the dream of the marriage I thought I had actually. I feel sad that there will be no one to celebrate my birthday with me tonight - even though I will be in class tonight. My Dad and niece called me this morning to wish me a happy birthday and the gentleman I started dating a couple of weeks ago took me out to dinner last night and brought me flowers. So that was very sweet. I need to focus on what is in my life now and be grateful for that.

I know that is what I should be doing, but I find myself looking back today. I had to send some stuff to the attorney regarding the divorce today and found out that my soon to be ex is already engaged to the other woman. Found that out 2 days ago. My mother also died on my birthday 25 years ago. So, I guess there is reason to feel sad on this day. Maybe I should throw myself a pity party tonight!!!

I am very grateful for my friends and family. I am so very grateful that the cheater is no longer in my life and as painful as the separation has been, it has afforded me a chance to create a better life for myself. I am grateful that I found a passion and am in school pursuing that. I am grateful that I saw my son this week up in the Bay area and had so much fun with him. So, there is good in my life today.

I am so grateful that I am not with the soon to be ex. I am so grateful that I love myself enough to know that I do not deserve that. I am so grateful for the strength and courage that I have found. I am so grateful that I found my laughter again and for the moments of peace and contentment I have found. I am grateful for the warmth of the sun on my face. I am grateful for the brave people I have met on this website, who have found recovery, one step at a time and emerge on other side, giving me the courage and hope to keep on!!!!

My wish is that my heart heals so that I can be the loving, whole, strong and kind woman that I know I am. My wish is to release the man I married, so that I may move on with grace and dignity. That is my wish for today.

I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 479 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy Birthday Dawn!!!!

{{{birthday hug}}}

Yaknow sure sounds to me like you've got yourself together and pretty soon you'll be running for "Overlord of the World".

Go have a birthday cookie (cakes are highly over-rated).


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6581 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy birthday! Save this somewhere, so you can look back next year when you hit 56 and see how far you've come!

Sometimes our healing is so incremental that we can't see it, but you've made so much progress and will make so much more.

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3406 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 20470
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy Birthday Dawn!

I love the idea phmh had, save this for next year and I bet you will be amazed at how much you heal in the next year!

M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.

Posts: 534 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Alaska
Random thoughts
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy Birthday Dawn.

I pray that today and all days forward that you value yourself to never settle for less than you deserve.

Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.

Posts: 1608 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
Member # 25557
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy Birthday. May life bring you love, joy, passion, happiness and strength, all of this in sufficient portions to wash away the pain, loss and grief that you have endured. Be blessed.

BS - me 49
XWH - him 48
DDay 05/08
Married 25 yrs, 2 sons 28/23
2nd Marriage 11/1/13 livng the dream
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me, you know in the end the day you left was really my begnning - Kelly Clarkson

Posts: 420 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Memphis, TN
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy Birthday, Dawn.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25744 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

a very happy birthday to you!

Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy birthday and to new beginnings!

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy Birthday Dawn! I've followed your story for a long while and I've seen you grown stronger and stronger. You are a hero.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1037 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy Birthday!

Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Member # 17840
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Happy Birthday, Dawn! Seems to me like you're doing pretty damn awesome!

This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1

Posts: 6656 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: SE US
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 2:33 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Tjank you for the birthday wishes!! I like the idea of keeping this and rereading this in a year, to see my progress. I know I will be in a much better place. Last year, on my birthday, was with WS and he had already started the affair and I was clueless. This year, no cheating spouse in my bed. So, even in this year, I can see how much better my life is. No longer with the cheater and that is a gift!!!

I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 479 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

So beautiful Dawn. Here's to positive wishes and seeking out sunshine.

Happy Birthday!!

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Happy birthday, Dawn!

Personally, I'm in favor of birthday ice cream.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15414 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Happy birthday girl...

You're the bomb...


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor

Posts: 5983 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Happy Birthday to you! ((Birthday hug))

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52

Posts: 3209 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

happy birthday

Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 18