User Topic: What are the day of/after IC like for you?
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

The husband goes to IC.
Every time he goes we end up having a huge fight about something.
I know it's good for him and I'd rather him talk to the IC than the skankface. I just hate the day of/after because it always ends the day in a fight.

So are IC days good or bad for you and your WS?

I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 40051
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Yep this is how it is EVERYTIME after MC. It sucks and he's mad and usually won't talk to me. Then the next day says he's sorry for xyz that was brought up. So it's improvement but it still sucks ass.

Me-BS 31
Him-FWH 37
PA sex 3-4times over three months during the EA

Posts: 93 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

they always bring relief but I am exhausted the rest of the day. I believe the same thing happens to my husband.

MC - can be very very hard for me afterwards. Our last MC was homophobic - no judgment - it's just not a value of mine - hence, we usually butted heads on lots of issues.

Trying a new MC tonight. i know people need to wade through crap to get to the other side but I hope to have compassion a focus of this MC session. I can only choose that for myself.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.

Posts: 5244 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

It varies for me depending on what we covered. I can be a righteous bitch after IC, especially if it was challenging or hit a raw nerve.

I notice the same thing with DD after her therapy sessions. The deeper the work, the more difficult it is for her to control her emotions afterward.

Does he recognize he does this? Can you talk with him about how to handle it as a couple? Maybe he needs some processing space for a couple of hours. Or maybe a physical outlet - like going for a run?


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25699 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 4