SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: how to keep the OW away
twig1down
New Member
Member # 40423
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

My world has fallen apart. The man I loved is no more. I know I need to file, but I have been hesitant to do so because the OW is a complete physco. She has tried to commit suicide multiple times, she drinks, smokes, drugs and who knows what else. My WS seems to think he can save her and that she's worth it. But I don't want my DD around this woman. He gave me her first name, but I cannot be certain if that is even her real name. Is there a way when I file to get a restraining order against a women I don't even have a name for? I'd like to keep my WS from my DD as well since his judgment these days is questionable, but I know i can't do that. But I refuse to let him bring my DD around this women. And if I have to stay married to him in order to keep her safe I will. But I would much rather move on with my life.

Posts: 5 | Registered: Aug 2013
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

The court presumes your WH is a fine, upstanding citizen capable of making safe decisions regarding your children. You cannot get a restraining order against the OW because she hasn't done anything against your children.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9312 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
twig1down
New Member
Member # 40423
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

I guess my only hope then lies in getting sole conservatorship over her and forcing him to come back to our home state to see her. He's military and stationed right now in another state. He barely has contact with her as it is. I just don't want a judge forcing me to send my DD, who doesn't want to see him, to his house with a OW that is mentally unstable.
I am so angry at him for bringing this toxic person into our lives.

Posts: 5 | Registered: Aug 2013
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

I totally understand. One of the OW with my STBX is convicted felon (heroin dealer). Another is a prostitute. I can't do a thing about it, I can't tell him how to run his life or who he should/should not allow around the children.

BTW, even with sole physical & legal custody, you still have to do something to facilitate visitation. You need to figure something out that is acceptable to you. You are not going to be able to prevent visitation. And word to the wise: if you present yourself as a protective parent, you will be viewed with hostility.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9312 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
nomistakeaboutit
Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, September 24th (Tuesday)

These are good topics to discuss with a good attorney. Strategic thinking and planning is now called for, to help you ensure the best possible outcome.


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 922 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
twig1down
New Member
Member # 40423
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Thanks for the heads up. I really appreciate the feedback.
I will keep it as pc as I can when discussing her with him, lawyers and judges

Posts: 5 | Registered: Aug 2013
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

In order to file a restraining order against her, she would need to commit a crime against you that you can press charges for. Until she does that, there is nothing you can do.

It's awful.. they can bring these disgusting human beings into our children's lives, and there is nothing we can do about it.

[This message edited by sparkysable at 12:37 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3190 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

I'm sorry to say, that OW cannot be kept away. For a time they can be held off, but not for very long. In our state it's during divorce proceedings, but then when it's finished, the rules go down the drain. The only way I've heard of people doing this is if there is a researched or proven safety issue with the "care" a child receives during visits.

This causes me great anxt as well and is something that I have to work on over time, for it is nothing I can stop, either.

I'm sorry for this trouble, twig1.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 8