SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Epiphany of sorts
Peanut5
Member
Member # 36051
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

I was thinking (obsessing) over ow again. And I suddenly realized that in some strange way, doesn't that mean that in some ironic way that I would be having a one sided affair I don't tell him that I'm thinking of her. And sometimes it's at times when I should be focused on him. Or something else important. Sorta made me realize the harm I'm doing

Posts: 102 | Registered: Jul 2012
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

(((Peanut5)))

I don't look at it as a one sided affair. She caused you pain and your brain is trying to wrap itself around how this could have happened. It normal to have thoughts about the OW/OM. As time passes, the thoughts will lessen.


Posts: 34505 | Registered: Mar 2011
ladies_first
Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Commending you on your insight.

Another good question to ask yourself -- when you get stuck on obsessing on anything in life -- is:
What am I getting out of this?

Usually it comes down to control or anger or safety, all of which are masking FEAR ... and stalling forward action.

Perhaps a better question is: What am I afraid of?

[This message edited by ladies_first at 8:17 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
Topic Posts: 3