SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Actually happy
brknwmn
Member
Member # 40603
Content  Posted: 7:13 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

I've actually been happy for the past two, I guess 3 weeks now. FWH (has recently earned that title) has been amazing. He's been a rock when I've needed him to be, understanding of my triggers and moody days, and couldn't possibly do anymore.

So why do I find myself sabotaging this happiness with my thoughts. He'll do something so loving and I think...did he do that with her? And just that quickly I get thrown off. I know that I was/am still hurt by what he has done in the past but I can actually see a change this time. I can see him working so very hard and I know that he won't hurt me like that again...i have every password, he doesn't jump when his phone rings/texts go off (he'll actually ask me to get them) so what the hell...why does my brain keep screwing me over with these awful thoughts???


Me: 26 BS Him: 29 WH
Together since Dec 2005
officially done 10-30-13

Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.


Posts: 78 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: United States
unfound
Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

It's a self protection and/or habit thing, and completely normal considering.

With his continuous healthy, remorseful ways, those thoughts will diminish....with some effort on your part too. Keeping in the "now" can be hard to do. Remind yourself of how much progress he's made, take a moment to focus on the present.

You'll get there


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14847 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
kansas1968
Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Beats me. I do the same thing and really get disgusted at myself for doing it. Hopefully time will make it better!


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1312 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Irishar
Member
Member # 35760
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

When those questions come up in my mind I ask him. I need to know everything. |Deal with it so it sits as best as it can in my heart and mind then move on. My husband keeps working hard on our marriage and on him self with his IC's help. I just keep taking it day by day and hope that I don't fall from cloud 9 on to the concrete ever again.


Be true to yourself

Posts: 63 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Saskatchewan
torn2pieces
New Member
Member # 39029
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

I am doing the same thing. things are good but i find myself going backwards at times when i really just want to move forward. hard to get it all but we will :)

Posts: 42 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: torn2pieces
Topic Posts: 5