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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: How close to live when separated
noglamour
Member
Member # 40380
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

I have been out of the house for over a month and staying at our business.

Sometime in Oct or Nov I will be to rent a house.

I have seen some homes for rent in our same neighborhood.

Would this be too close?


Me: WS 38
Her: BS 37
6 year old
Married 9 years, together 11
DDay: 7/29/13

Posts: 65 | Registered: Aug 2013
ninebark
Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

I guess it depends on you and your ex. My ex moved just down the road for a while. It was far enough away that I didn't see him regularly but it was close enough that DS felt comforted in the fact that he could walk or bike to his dad's house when he wanted to . It really help the transition that he was that close.


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
noglamour
Member
Member # 40380
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

I wouldnt be on the same block, but the homes in our neighborhood would be walking or biking.

I would love for the transition to be real smooth.

Did he move further away?


Me: WS 38
Her: BS 37
6 year old
Married 9 years, together 11
DDay: 7/29/13

Posts: 65 | Registered: Aug 2013
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

Right after DD X-npd lived down the street, and I could see his home. That was too close for me, as I hated for the kids and me to see the gf's car there.

A year later he was still in the area, but a few blocks away and that worked much better from my perspective.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2625 | Registered: Jan 2010
ninebark
Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

He did end up moving in with his parents as he had to work three weeks out of the month out of province.

I think it comes down to how much you can get along with each other. We have a pretty amicable divorce and have worked hard to make sure DS feels secure and happy. We don't fight with each other and we make drop off and pick ups stress free and friendly. SO to me that is the key, if we were bickering and fighting it may not work.

I should clairfy down the road is not correct, same subdivision but I could not see his house and he could not see mine.


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
noglamour
Member
Member # 40380
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

We have not been bickering our arguing, so that has been good.

I dont want to see her house or have her see my house.

I dont want to think about some car being in the driveway


Me: WS 38
Her: BS 37
6 year old
Married 9 years, together 11
DDay: 7/29/13

Posts: 65 | Registered: Aug 2013
ninebark
Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

((hugs))

It gets easier trust me. I no longer care when I see his GF's car in the driveway. I have a BF now and we have our own lives.

I am glad you are not fighting, it makes it the transition so much better on the kids. I may be angry at my EX but very rarely does DS know it. I choose to vent to others...lol


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
scooter72
New Member
Member # 40381
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)

My husband will be moving out right after closing on his new home. It is in our subdivision around corner. Close enuff that boys can walk or ride bikes up everyday after work if they want. We drive past it on way to car pool daily as well. We have been in house separated since dday 2.5 months ago. We wanted to make the transition as easy on kids as possible. I needed them to still feel secure. When moving day comes, I know it will be rough for all of us, but it shouldn't take long for them to see we have been honest about seeing us both everyday etc.


Me-BS 39 and holding
WW- 42
3ds 13,6.5,4.5
2sd 15,14
SS -11
Dday 8-3-13
Separating

Posts: 8 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NC
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

The sad clown and I lived in the same complex 100m apart. What bothered me is I could see his apartment whenever I looked out my window and I felt watched myself.

Far enough away is where I don't have to drive past his place nor worry about him driving past mine.

He is in the complex next to the one I am in. I am much happier this way.

It has been over a year and I haven't bumped into him on the street - thank god!


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5526 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
neverbeokay
Member
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

We live in same zip code but not the same neighborhood. It is good for the kids and makes it easier for the kids to visit him. The only downside is running into him occasionally at the nearby Starbucks etc. As time goes by it is less of an issue.

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2005
Topic Posts: 10