SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Wayward Side
User Topic: BW on SI now
NoGoodUsername
Member
Member # 40181
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

My BW has decided to start posting to SI now. In my book this is a good thing. She has actually been on the site longer than I have and is the one that pointed it out to me, but just today has decided that she is ready to talk here.

She is already getting some good support. She's tough and smart and I'm doing my best for her these days, but there are things that people who have walked in her shoes can say and do that I never will be able to.

I do admit that it is tough to see our story out in the forums, told in her voice. It is also difficult to read the things that people have to say about me in response to it. Tough, but not a problem. She's being absolutely truthful and fair and even keeping other people's criticism of me factual. I'm so amazingly lucky to be married to her and so amazingly foolish to have betrayed her.

I don't know whether we are going to succeed, but it is my greatest hope to fix my problems and to build a new life with her.


Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

Posts: 236 | Registered: Aug 2013
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

You sound pretty good. There may not be many WS who are 'down' with this. You're gonna get beat up, you probably deserve it some (BS here ) but if it helps y'all get through - more power to you. And good luck!



Posts: 14343 | Registered: Jun 2008
NoGoodUsername
Member
Member # 40181
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

I still have some beatings coming and plan to face them with eyes wide open. If I duck it, there won't be any learning. :-)


Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

Posts: 236 | Registered: Aug 2013
StillStanding1
Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

BS here... Way to be strong! I truly wish my WH was willing to read, post, and learn like you are. I know it will be hard, but will make you both better for it.

Just wanted to say I really respect your effort!


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 656 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

Adding, when I referenced 'WS' I didn't mean in general; I meant YOU, as a WS...maybe you don't want to hear or face 'it'. I didn't mean to sound like I was generalizing.

My personal WS wasn't down. We are D now and I think it's good if y'all can 'take it' and learn from venting, getting advice and so on.

Wish you the best; I hate when couples can't repair.



Posts: 14343 | Registered: Jun 2008
tired girl
Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

This can be a good thing as long as the both of you have guidelines that you both adhere to, in my opinion.

Both my H and I are on here, and it has been good for us. Good luck to the both of you.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4759 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:09 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

I guess I will have to welcome your BW here on this thread, and wish you both the best, since I don't know who she is as a member. That's good though, I always find it awkward to try and help one member if I know who their spouse is, kinda tempting to hold back at times hoping that the difficulty is an aberration or something.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Sparkle0504
Member
Member # 40379
Content  Posted: 9:17 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

BS here... Way to be strong! I truly wish my WH was willing to read, post, and learn like you are. I know it will be hard, but will make you both better for it.
Just wanted to say I really respect your effort!

What she said


Me 44 (BS)
Him 52 (SAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
Children - two, mine from my previous marriage
Final straw 6/6/14

The truth hurts, but nowhere near as much as the lies


Posts: 191 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: England
Topic Posts: 8