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User Topic: Many Little Knives
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

Many stabs to my heart from many sources lately.
Tonight a beautiful photograph turns up on a restaurant's FB page. Of course it catches my attention. It's a lovely upscale restaurant. But ugh, in the photo is a table with heart confetti, and a dessert plate decorated with a slice of torte cake and "Happy Anniversary" written in chocolate script across the plate.
Stab to the heart.
I'll never have that again.

I couldn't bring myself to celebrate our last anniversary, and the year before, Finally10 acted badly and chose to sleep on the couch-various explanations have been given about that, but...

I can't celebrate the day that WH stood at the front of a church and made vows to me which he has completely trashed and broken beyond repair. He even tried saying that it should be ok to just continue anniversaries since he's not cheating now. It felt like he was asking me to forget and move on. Impossible.
I get really tired of hearing, "But look at me now!" Good for you buddy. But what about the stuff you did that killed our marriage and my soul?

I am truly happy to hear when others here on SI are able to celebrate an anniversary. But an out of the blue thought of a romantic anniversary of two loving people just feels like my heart is being ripped out of my body- again.

All of Finally10's unexpected/unintended consequences are triggers for me.

I guess I'm just venting tonight. Things have taken a downturn here lately.
Thanks for listening.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
sad34
Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

I get tired of hearing "I've tried so hard these past months. I'm like wow that's the shit u should have been doing all along instead of having a girlfriend! I totally hear ya:(
Anniversaries, suck, actually all holidays suck. On one of our last anniversaries wh was on holidays with his dad and male family members and he gave his girlfriend a FaceTime tour of their condo. Thanx for the memories ass hat:(


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
cl131716
Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 1:01 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

I never even experienced one happy anniversary. Our first is 10/31 and d-day was 7/23. Not even a year in and it happened. I totally understand what you mean. They ruined what should be some of the happiest moments of our lives. It's not fair.


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
flup
Member
Member # 21259
Default  Posted: 1:10 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

I know the feeling... "Live our lives from now on, not the way they were."

History cannot be rewritten. The events that have transpired, will remain forever. He (or she) the Wayward, must be willing to to fix the marriage until the end of the marriage... IMO. If not... there's the door, buddy.


Me: BS 55
Her: fWW 50

D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married


Posts: 428 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 4