User Topic: Are they really all liars??
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

I am so perplexed by this. I know somewhere inside of me that this is true, but I need some other opinions on the topic.

People, particularly OW, who gush about their perfect, awesome lives on social media - are they pretty much full of shit?? Is this what people really sit around and do to thumb their noses at the cyber world?

BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2840 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

Liars and/or just not willing to look at themselves objectively and honestly. Also, only showing what they think others will respond to and trying to make people think they're something that deep down they're not.

Or just full of shit. That too


[This message edited by unfound at 4:16 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14861 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

People who can''t exist without external validation tend to need a whole heck of a lot of self promotion and smoke and mirrors to make themselves look great superfically so that they get the admiration they must have in order to not collapse under the weight of their own lack of self worth.

i.e. yes, they are.

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3123 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Member # 40257
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

Cayc, you are my new hero, lol. The perfect quote.

After I readit, I had this epiphany. I'm sitting here in peace, no burden of lies, cheating, etc. calm in my own skin, integrity running on all cylinders. And she's out there doing just what your quote said, and I thot, "Gee, that must be exhausting, living that facade". Literally exhausting.

Sorry Unfound, missed your quote the first time. It's excellent too!

[This message edited by jackfish at 6:38 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

Posts: 88 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

cayc awesome post! This is both my WH and the MOW. Losers oh I mean liars

BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

People who can't exist without external validation tend to need a whole heck of a lot of self promotion and smoke and mirrors to make themselves look great superfically so that they get the admiration they must have in order to not collapse under the weight of their own lack of self worth.

full of shit
^^^^^And this

Oh how I love the wisdom of SIers!

Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

They may not be pathological, but they have grandiose ideas about themselves, their kids, and their lives. And they think we are just dying to know all about it.

The social media hounds are symbolic basement dwellers. Remember the Brad Paisley song "Online"? YouTube it any time you need a reminder that, yes, they are usually lying.

Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.

Posts: 1527 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

I think those people fall under two types. Either:

- they are lying


- they are ONLY presenting the best parts of their lives for the world to see, and leaving out the crap

Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10


Posts: 2232 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

I used to belong to a stay at home mom group, and I would roll my eyes at all the women who would argue over who had the best husband. These are the same people who are now on FB presenting a fairy tale version of their lives. Still rolling my eyes, thinking "whatever!!". I mean, no one posts their bad hair day or their kid's failing report card, but I really think the more someone needs to brag, the more they are covering up.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller

Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
solus sto
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

No. Some people really do have wonderful lives. And some of them post on social media. Not all are seeking external validation. Some are sharing their lives with the people they love.

I know it's hard to imagine, but it's true.

This is not to say that any life is without hardship---we all have trials. But the trials of some ---while certainly significant to them-- may be both more transient and not of the magnitude that we experience.

[This message edited by solus sto at 8:46 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8844 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 10