SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: The Healing Library
soconfusednow
Member
Member # 40078
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, September 27th (Friday)

When I first posted here The Healing Library was recommended I barely glanced at it, but spent a lot of time in the forums. Now that I'm starting to look there more I'm thinking I wasted some time on my road to recovery.

When it comes to homework type stuff I get distracted, try to do to many things at once, get frustrated or lazy, all of which is time consuming & unproductive. Any suggestions to keep/start me in the right direction would be helpful.


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50
WH 52
NC-several
last broken NC 7/2013 (hopefully)
Married 29 years
2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

Posts: 317 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, September 27th (Friday)

Maybe you want to use the members here to hold you accountable for implementing the things that you are learning. Let them support you and encourage you.

So think about where things are and what you want to accomplish next (not the grand scheme but the next small step). Let us know what it is so that we can cheer you on.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; theyíll scratch you up time and time again but in the end youíre polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52581 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Lucky
Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, September 27th (Friday)

Try taking things one step at a time, one day at a time, one hour at a time.... It's a long road with a lot of ups and downs and many struggles.


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
Dare2Trust
Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, September 27th (Friday)

soconfusednow,

One thing that's very helpful:

If you can take the time to write "your story" on your profile page. Then posters can refer to your Profile page/story....and have a better understanding of your situation to help you with suggestions/advice, etc....

Often, posters don't have time to read all your posts before replying.


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6133 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
soconfusednow
Member
Member # 40078
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

Iíve decided whenever I come to the site I need to look at least 1 article, link or book from the Healing Library. Iím not sure starting at the top & working down or choosing from the title would be more beneficial.

Today I will read Quick Start Guidelines - by Poodlepapa.


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50
WH 52
NC-several
last broken NC 7/2013 (hopefully)
Married 29 years
2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

Posts: 317 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

When it comes to homework type stuff I get distracted, try to do to many things at once, get frustrated or lazy, all of which is time consuming & unproductive.

OK...that could be your response to the A, but it could also be ADD/ADHD. My suggestion is to see a doc, preferably a psychiatrist with a specialty in AD(H)D, for an eval.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10341 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
TheAmazingWondertwin
Member
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 5:05 AM, October 4th (Friday)

In reference to the ADD/ADHD. I specialize in this field for children but have worked with adults as well. Often, adults take responsibility for their inability to manage time and stay focused. I do recommend talking with someone about that- there are some very simple tips and strategies that may help you focus and say on track- as well as give you the peace of mind that some if this is out of your control. Don't bet yourself up for the way your mind and body work. Learn how to work with those strengths and weaknesses to get you where you want to go.
I wish you strength and comfort.


Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
soconfusednow
Member
Member # 40078
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, October 6th (Sunday)

Just read Signs of Cheating in the Healing Library. If my WH read that he might think I was cheating(I am not), about 20 of those things applied to me.


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50
WH 52
NC-several
last broken NC 7/2013 (hopefully)
Married 29 years
2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

Posts: 317 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 8