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User Topic: Wtf? I thought I had blocked her!!
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Just got a message from OW who I thought I had blocked, how did she get unblocked????

(B is my WH)

"Hey I didn't want to have to write you but B has me blocked on everything I just need to know if there's any sort of family medical history I need to know about like any problems I should prepare for? I was just getting questioned by the doctor the other day about his hearing because he failed his hearing test when he was born and they said if I could find out about B's history I should. I mean he's fine now because he passed his retest last week I'm just making sure I shouldn't be worried about it."

She's fishing right?


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Ambergray
Member
Member # 40778
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Was it a cell phone that you blocked her from? I just found out, and verified it myself that the block only lasts 3 months and then you have to go back in and re-block.


Me-38
WH-38
Dday June 2013

"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. Ralph Waldo Emerson


Posts: 91 | Registered: Sep 2013
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

She must have made a new profile just to fuck with me....

FTbitch. OMG. I just want to delete fb completely. Is she stalking me? She just had a baby, she shouldn't have time to stalk little ol' me???


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

It was facebook.

Apparently she made a new account and messaged me...

I just blocked that one immediately, no response.

She probably just wants to remind me that her and OC exist and they are happy with her new H.

I'm so mad. I was quite enjoying my no contact. Will she forever haunt me?


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
cuppacoffee
Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

hugs.

I can see that she's interested in her baby It's probably a fishing expedition.

How old is the baby? Like don't you think if she was really concerned she could have asked then?


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

I don't know how old he is. Anywhere from 2 months to like 4 wks. When she got married at 7 months pregnant we all went NC. I don't want to know his birth day. It will become a horrible trigger for the next few years everyday it rolls around.


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
cuppacoffee
Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

exactly- why now? the new husband must have pissed her off so she tried contacting you.


You did the right thing but she is probably going to try to pull this stuff for a long time.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Okay, so there has been 4 months of NC, she has gotten married to someone else, and had a child, then contacts you requesting information about the fathers medical history.

Maybe I am naive, but I think it is worth considering the possibility that she wants medical information about her child's father.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Probably. She has a newborn!!! She shouldn't have time to devise ways to rear her skanky head back into my life.

I guess i'm just ranting and venting. But omg, will I ever escape?


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Maybe she does, but why didn't she ask before NC was established?

She had 7 months to ask, but she doesn't take interest until after she sees that we are actually sticking to NC?

I'm not trying to arguing with you, I just highly doubt that she doesn't have fishing motivations. Why did she create a new account and contact me instead of him? We both have her blocked, so if she creates a new FB with neither of us blocking her...why am I the one she contacts?

[This message edited by Tired05 at 10:23 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Dreamland
Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Honestly I wouldn't care if she has a newborn or what. Maybe she should have asked him what his medical history was before she fucking him without protection.


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Yes, I agree. I have a screencap a facebook message of her saying she got pregnant on purpose. She should have thought of all of that then, and those 7 months before NC.

Obviously WH should have found his brain and shoved it back into his head in the first place, but I mean, seriously...

[This message edited by Tired05 at 10:36 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Hmm... if the medical history is necessary, would there be a way for your H to communicate directly with the doctor's office rather than with her? Or, if there are lawyers or court involved, could a request for the information be made and delivered through a third party?


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

That would be reasonable if she contacted through lawyers or something legal that would show she wasn't just trying to poke the ashes.

Nothing legal is going on (right now). She says this guy is the dad now.

When WH gets back from overseas he can always visit an L and see what he can do, but I wouldn't withhold information if it was truly needed for the child. I just don't want to give her ego kibble or forever have power to hurl new darts at me with "questions about the baby" when WH isn't even parenting. Just USING the baby to be a bitch.

[This message edited by Tired05 at 11:34 PM, September 28th (Saturday)]


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Josephine01
Member
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

I don't know much about FB but isn't there a way to make it so your profile can't be seen by anyone but your friends? I don't know if this includes the IM part. But, take your profile pic off and go incognito? I know that is not fair HUGS . . . Just a thought.


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 2:52 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

Most people actually try to avoid using lawyers as much as possible because they are generally inefficient, add to conflict, are expensive, and just not regarded very highly. Of course by most people I mean me, but...

As far as her not asking medical history before getting pregnant, well I understand it upsets you that she got pregnant on purpose, but imagine how much more upsetting it would have been had she taken a medical history first. I can only imagine the trauma had your husband actually jumped through a bunch of hoops to qualify before impregnating her. If she really is as manipulative as you describe, he probably would have jumped through those hoops anyway.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Bobbi_sue
Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

Most people actually try to avoid using lawyers as much as possible because they are generally inefficient, add to conflict, are expensive, and just not regarded very highly. Of course by most people I mean me, but...

Me too.

She may be fishing, or she may have thought that was actually a good way to get the info. that she sort of decided she needed all of a sudden. If she got preg on purpose while having an A, I don't blame you for being suspicous of her motives; that is for sure.


Posts: 5742 | Registered: Apr 2006
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

I didn't really expect her to ask for med history while planning to get pregnant, but during that time frame where she was hooking her claws into this new guy. Did she assume WH would always be at her beck and call even if new dad is now THE dad? Did she want to keep her foot in the door of the M? Or did she simply lack foresight.

I feel like shit and a little childish. A simple few words, impersonal quick, and to the point could work, but if she gets that...will she keep pushing??? Will that open up the floodgate? Will she always have some excuse to talk to WH 'because of the baby, even though WH isn't having to pay child support or getting visitation?

So is she honestly and truthfully worried about her child or is she using the child to continue contact and insert herself back into the M? Is it a little of both?

If I just give her a quick med summary (give an inch) will she take a mile?

ETA- Also, there isn't anything big in his family to speak of, outside of his mother's anxiety and depression. So since there isn't anything she needs to worry about like a case of deafness or cancer or whathaveyou, then the kid wouldn't benefit from a response. So do I respond to give her piece of mind in exchange for me having to deal with everything that comes with repeated broken NC? Fuck her piece of mind.

I don't wanna leave the door cracked open for the rest of my life so she can peek her eyes through and keep me in a state of anxiety and sadness.

[This message edited by Tired05 at 8:43 AM, September 29th (Sunday)]


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

I think that it is a possibility that this contact is legit. Ugh-worthy, for sure, but perhaps without nefarious intent.

Yes, she had a lot of time to ask about your WH's medical history previously. But sometimes people don't even really think about it until an issue arises. Such as when the child encounters some medical issue and the doc turns to the parent and asks whether <that> issue is present in any other family members, kwim? And since that is what seems to have happened here......I can see why she contacted you now.

As for why, if she set up a dummy account, she contacted you instead of your WH? Maybe she did it because she *wasn't* trying to cause trouble. She contacts you with her request and that way you receive the message and know what was said, kwim? She can't be accused of reaching out to your WH. I've read about some others in an OC situation and it seems that a lot of them have any contact run through the BS in order to minimize contact between the WH and OW.

You could either respond that there are no problems that you are aware of that she should prepare for in regards to the health of the baby; OR you guys can give her permission to share your WH's contact info with the baby's pediatrician and if there's ever any concern about medical history, then the doctor's office is allowed to contact him directly.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8007 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Josephine01
Member
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

This thread hits close to home. I know how you feel, you have every right to. But, i too was placed in this situation by my mother (OW) and her Married AP.

Personal feelings and hurt aside. The child does need to know his or her health history. Please find a way without contacting OW to give that info. Thats really the least your wh can do for this child. You dont deserve any of this. I know this.


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

Oh Please! You are too kind. Don't overthink this.

She wants to engage your WH in her messy life ...no matter how she is couching the contact.

Like you really needed to be reminded of this...

I was just getting questioned by the doctor the other day...if I could find out about B's history

She had to admit that she got pregnant from a MM? UGH!

Push her and her whelp back into the oblivion where they belong.

Please don't entertain for one second that she is doing anything but fishing for a response. As she says in her missive, the kid is fine.

So why rattle your cage...Because she can?!

Let her lawyer and pediatrician figure all of that out. If necessary.

*Crickets* then block that account.

Sheesh, get lost already AP!!

[This message edited by Getting to Happy at 10:56 AM, September 29th (Sunday)]


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
AStar
Member
Member # 39971
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

If she needs medical information, her doctor or lawyer can contact you.
Otherwise ignore her- I would.


Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
Broken1Again
Member
Member # 32211
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

I just finished reading your profile and I find myself wondering if this is some sort of a ploy to throw you off of something, or to let you know that she has a fake FB account and maybe he does too. It just seems awfully suspicious that she would "proudly" acknowledge that your WS has blocked her from everything. It's not something OW like to admit to often to a BS.

I don't know, but this whole thing is going to be a mess. She wants Dr's info now, in a few months she's going to want $$$ in a few more months she'll want something else. I just don't see this woman stopping.

What is the status between you and your WS right now?


BS: 40
WS: 42
Two boys 13/11
Married 15 years
Dday: too Many to remember. 3 significant OW and many "less"'significant OW. Believe WS has bad boundaries and craves the attention.
In R.

Posts: 878 | Registered: May 2011
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, September 29th (Sunday)

He is still stationed in S. Korea and should be returning soon. Still waiting on orders. We are supposed to be Ring. He seems to be in it and everything, but with the being in different countries thing, it is hard to be sure because he is limited on actions to back up his words. I have snooped as much as I can, and she is right, he has blocked her from everything. But I can't say that I would be totally shocked if they had some other connection going on...although it would be even more f'ed up because now she is married also.

Honestly, when I saw her name in my inbox, my first thought was "Oh great! Here she is to tell me my WH is still talking to her..." But like I said, I can't find anything to support that.

I'm pretty sure she was just trying to 'check up on things' or see if she could either cause some kind of reaction. Maybe she is hoping that I tell my WH she talked to me, and then he in turn makes a secret account and contacts her on his own.

I don't know, but there is no medical history that on his side of the family that she really needs to know of.

I just blocked her. If she really needs to know something, then she can get a lawyer and contact my WH.

Also from her first statement that 'B blocked me from everything', it is clear that she did try to contact him first and didn't go straight for me in order to be as non confrontational as possible.

She also admitted herself that the baby is fine. I feel like her response was much too detailed, like she was trying to lure me into being nice and trying to make me feel for the child.

[This message edited by Tired05 at 3:08 PM, September 29th (Sunday)]


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, September 29th (Sunday)

Send her email to her new H, tell him that she has tried to contact your WH and you, that NCNC, and should she try to contact either of you again, you will jointly pursue an RO. If there''s nothing to disclose, then this is all of the "courtesy" that you owe them. And OH has been alerted, if he doesn''t know, that his lovely wife is fishing.

If they (not her) are truly serious about asking about health history at this point, then they can spend the money to go to a lawyer and have a letter drafted up requesting the info. At that point, you can jointly reply back to the lawyer, and tell the lawyer that now that this information has been transmitted, you expect and demand complete NC from that "family," jointly and individually.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4804 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Tearsoflove
Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 2:38 AM, September 30th (Monday)

Tired,

If you want to put a stop to getting messages from new accounts she creates, go into your account settings and check off that only friends of friends can message you. You won't get messages from her anymore unless one of your friends adds her as a friend.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4090 | Registered: Sep 2005
thenon-goddess
Member
Member # 31229
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, September 30th (Monday)

Okay, so there has been 4 months of NC, she has gotten married to someone else, and had a child, then contacts you requesting information about the fathers medical history.
Maybe I am naive, but I think it is worth considering the possibility that she wants medical information about her child's father.

I very much doubt it. I think she's using it as an in. I have no contact with my bio dad and managed to get myself and my kids through medical histories just fine.

Since she had to create a brand new FB to contact, at that point she could have just contacted Tired's H. That she didn't shows that she's STILL a liar. She said she would have contacted him, but he's blocked her everywhere. Well, if she has a new account, voila, she's unblocked. If she can contact Tired (and she had her blocked) then she can contact the Tired's H.

Anyway, here's what I'd do, and then be done with it for good. Go to a drs office and obtain one of the sheets they have you fill out on medical history and full it out with your husbands information. Send it certified mail and then re-block her in FB with no other contact. IMO, she is fishing an using her kid as an excuse.

[This message edited by thenon-goddess at 5:50 AM, September 30th (Monday)]


Status: divorcing
Typing on an iPhone - please excuse the typos!

Posts: 1244 | Registered: Feb 2011
Want2help
Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 2:26 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Why did she create a new account and contact me instead of him? We both have her blocked, so if she creates a new FB with neither of us blocking her...why am I the one she contacts?

My FWH's OC is now 5 years old.

To this day, OW has NEVER contacted FWH regarding OC. She has never attempted to contact him regarding OC (she had the nerve to try to message him to invite him to a party--not for OC).

OW has ALWAYS contacted me. Not with benevolent intentions, mind you. She told me shortly after announcing her pregnancy (and FWH refusing to leave me for her) that she would "never let Want2help forget about her and OC". I have been her sole target in her mission to destroy.


There is a possibility that the child failed the newborn hearing test. There is no possibility that she was unable to contact your FWH to ask. In my (albeit biased) opinion, she is reminding you that she and OC still exist, lest you forget.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2270 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

If she wanted to contact your husband, she could have done what my one-time female stalker would do when I blocked her current number: call from a pay phone and use a friend's phone.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7217 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

So is she honestly and truthfully worried about her child or is she using the child to continue contact and insert herself back into the M? Is it a little of both?

Probably both, but which one its more of, who knows.

I have never been in your shoes, so I have no idea what kind of pain this is for you.

That child though is innocent and didnt ask to be born to a cheater.

I would talk to you lawyer about the conversation, and then do a full medical history on the father. The child should at least be given that much. But do it through a lawyer or the doctors office only, not through her. I would try very very hard not to go through her....

I am so sorry you have to go through all this.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 30