SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Saying goodbye
Naivete123
Member
Member # 38715
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

Today WS and I decided we will separate. I realized my anxiety was stemming from him- "us". I asked him was he ready to move on. He said yes. It hurts- but it is a relief too. Now I can mourn and focus on rebuilding myself.

Any advice on proceeding.
We are in a foreign country, so we will have to cohabitate for several months. I would l Ike to move out now- but the kids need to finish out the school semester.

We will return in December.

WH has promised to take care of us financially. So as to legal separation I am not sure that is what we will do until I have established myself. Mainly because I will need insurance. Important for therapy etc.

Any resources for me regarding going back to school, finding my way?

I assume family therapy is good for the kids.

I know surround myself with friends. Keep myself busy.


I WILL NOT drink the Kool Aid.

The grass is greener on the other side. But they put chemicals on theirs.


Posts: 60 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: USA
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry you had to make that decision, but once I had done the same my world finally started to get so much better. I won't lie- in house separation can be like being put to death by a thousand paper cuts instead of one swift slice to end it all. It can be brutal.

That being said, you must begin to protect yourself now. Do not believe any of his "promises" to take care of you and the kids financially. Get things in writing. Gather all the financial documents you can in order to show a money trail, a history, later when you need it.

In house typically gets very ugly and promises get broken. I hope yours turns out differently, but if you hope for the best AND prepare for the worst you will make it through this hellish time.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3605 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
LadyQ
Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, September 29th (Sunday)

What PurpleRose said. Those promises are real nice, but ask yourself this: does he have a very good track record with following through on promises?

I heard all that, too. Within a week, he had changed passwords on all accounts, and has since found a way out of paying me half the retirement. He balks at paying his half of anything, and still sends me texts about how he's willing to "help" with the children. Protect yourself, protect your children. Get it in writing and signed by a judge.

As to going back to school, I'm not sure how it would come out with a legal separation, but my tuition and books are covered fully by Pell grants right now. It even covers pencils, paper, etc. If you don't qualify for Pell grants, go on fastweb dot com and apply for every scholarship going! It takes a bit of time to fill out all the info, but then they match you to scholarships, grants, whatever. It's worth your time! Truthfully, I was worried about how I was going to afford to go back to school, but really all I have to worry about is keeping my 4.0!


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 3