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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I donated asshole's winter clothes
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, September 30th (Monday)

Cheating, irrational, delusional f*cker moved out in summer. After he told me that OWhore was going to have a baby after telling our child first, I bagged his winter clothes that he left (mostly sweaters) and drove several bags of his clothes to the local donation store. Now he's looking for those clothes.

Gee, I thought he didn't want them since he left them behind. He thinks I've gone ballistic. After finding out about the deliberate pregnancy with his whore, I was blinded by rage. Now I see just fine.


Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, September 30th (Monday)

Is it bad that this made me smile?


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4099 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
sunsetslost
Member
Member # 39885
DOH!  Posted: 9:22 AM, September 30th (Monday)

I've been throwing away plates and glasses instead of washing them. Most were wedding gifts. Not smashing as my therapist suggested, just throwing them away with the rest of the trash. She commented about the dwindling cabinet contents. I did not respond.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 492 | Registered: Jul 2013
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, September 30th (Monday)

Is it bad that this made me smile?

Thank you. I'm glad it made you smile.

I told stbx-asshole that I'm doing him a favor. He wants to start a new life with whore, he should get a new wardrobe. I directed him to the 2nd hand store where I dropped off his stuff and said that he'd better hurry before the good stuff is gone.

I also told him that he should get his whore to get him a new wardrobe.


Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
cantlivewithouth
Member
Member # 11939
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, September 30th (Monday)

Did the same thing to the crap my XH left behind. When I moved out of the house almost 2 years after he left and over a year after the divorce was final he wanted all his stuff back. So sorry butthead, I don't know what happened to it. You must have taken it with you.

Had a great tax write-off though.


Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.

My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.‎


Posts: 40985 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Canada by way of Virginia
Snapdragon
Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, September 30th (Monday)

I guess he shouldn't have left his stuff behind. You are not his personal storage space.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3055 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, September 30th (Monday)

It surprises me how upset asshole sounds when texting me. For some reason, I thought he wouldn't care ... like he hasn't care much about anything the past few years.

Some stuff I kept, because they are nicer. I don't know what to do with it, but didn't want to drop it off at the donation place. However, I did force myself to donate a nice pair of shoes I got for him. I heard an old wives tale not to buy shoes for your significant other. Ladies, don't buy your significant other shoes. Because that's what they will be wearing when they leave you.


Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, September 30th (Monday)

Snapdragon, the lyrics of the song by Pink that you have in your footer, made me cry when I first heard it, driving in the car. Anybody looking at me would have seen the tears streaming down my cheeks.

Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
Cookie7088
Member
Member # 30038
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, September 30th (Monday)

He thinks I've gone ballistic.

No you did a very reasonable thing, and might I had a very good deed!

Ballistic is putting them out on the lawn..grabbing a gas can and a match....now, that's ballistic!


Posts: 622 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: U.S.
flygirl123
Member
Member # 32672
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, September 30th (Monday)

What he didn't take...I burned.

Or donated to a charity.

Or tossed in the trash.

Or used to bed down our chickens.

He asked for all of what he left two years after he walked out. All I could say was "oops! Better luck next time!"

By the way...Air Force Uniforms don't actually burn...they kinda just melt.


Me...40 and fabulous
WXH...just plain stupid
DS's...9,7 and 6
DDays that are too numerous to mention...but no longer have relevance.

Posts: 230 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Illinois Cornfields
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Or used to bed down our chickens.



D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 2795 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Ballistic is putting them out on the lawn..grabbing a gas can and a match....now, that's ballistic!

I thought about your response. And "crazy" is burning his shit in the living room.


Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I have a question for everyone. My STBX says what I did is very immature. I am thinking it is deeper than that. For me, it goes to the bone and to my soul. I don't see it as mature/immature. I am PISSED and HURT to my soul.

Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

The only thing you did wrong was not donating them all over the state lmao.

Too bad for him, he should have gotten all his shit.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

My STBX says what I did is very immature.

My STBX POS went ape shit when I told him after he left that I put all his personal belongings in a trailer on our property we were using for storage. He told me that "normal people" don't "sanitize" their spouse from the house and the spouse is at least allowed the courtesy of picking up their own things. My response? You are lucky it was stored safely in the trailer and not thrown on the front lawn in Hefty bags because that is what "normal" people do when their spouse betrays them for 20 years!

I also had great personal satisfaction in putting his prized suits in an old toilet box... though I highly doubt he even caught on to the irony of that one...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare


Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

My STBX says what I did is very immature


Yea, as if *his* opinion carries any weight......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCyL6pa_L4M


Posts: 7248 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Oh Fuck Me! He said what to you? That you did something immature? Oh I see. So, something like forgetting that when you get married means you don't fuck around with other people, that's not immature? That you can't hold to a sacred vow? That's not immature?

Pot. Meet Kettle.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8784 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Oh Fuck Me! He said what to you? That you did something immature? Oh I see. So, something like forgetting that when you get married means you don't fuck around with other people, that's not immature? That you can't hold to a sacred vow? That's not immature?

NatureGirl, you made me laugh through my tears. :( :)


Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

That's how we roll here!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8784 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Gajit
Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

I have a nice fire pit that WH built for those cozy nights we used to spend together.
After the D is final, I am going to have a bonfire, complete with marshmallows and s'mores!
Oh, and wine! LOL


Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 222 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
dindy
Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

I'm replacing everything including bedding and towels that ex and I used together.

I also accidently cleaned the toilet with one of his t-shirts before he moved his stuff out-whoops!


Posts: 433 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
dindy
Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

This post was to follow on from another thread? I don't know what happened there!

Posts: 433 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
LadyQ
Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

X left 2 years ago and the divorce was final March 2012. I still have all his shit in my storage building! Is that stuff considered abandoned? Is it now "mine" to do with as I wish? It's a huge storage building, like I could put a car in it huge. Sure would be nice to store MY stuff in it...

[This message edited by LadyQ at 5:04 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Gajit
Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

LadyQ, I give you permission to get rid of his stuff LOL

You can throw it into my bonfire, or you can donate it to get a nice tax deduction.


Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 222 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
AussieMum
Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

STBX left in January - his crap is still here in the garage. SO MUCH STUFF (he was and is a hoarder).

I've started selling what I can. Thought about taking it all to the dump but why shouldn't I make some money out of his stuff? When (if) he asks for it, I'll say 'oh really? Didn't know you had one of those! Never seen it!'


Me 46
STBXH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. He's now living with OW3.

Posts: 179 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

ex moved out 2 years ago.
I packed up all his stuff and the stuff he didn't take went into the garage.
Just in the last 2 months I got him to take boxes when he came to take the girls for visitation.
I am now down to 2 boxes left.
The only other thing is a big ass drill press that is bolted to my garage cement floor. I tried to take it apart (it's 3 pieces) and the top part is freaking heavy.
I wanted to sell it.
It's the last thing I have to get rid of and the house will truly be mine.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(9)
WS: Him 49 (X...together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, he moved out Sept. 11, 2011...
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder
I'm finding that I am growing more and more fond of his absence.

Posts: 1225 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

I was stupid and did not listen to my lawyer during the divorce and granted FT storage use of half the garage.

He tried to clog up the garage so bad with all his crap. So, years after the divorce my dad and I moved a gigantic tool box 5x3x3 kind full of tools and tons of other stuff into an office in the back of the garage. Suddenly I had the garage back.

FT then brought more stuff. Instead of respectfully putting it in the office he covered up the garage making it unusable again.

I did not say a word and moved it all into the office.

One day I see him driving toward my home. So I discreetly go home and find him standing in the garage with this funny look on his face....

He accused me of stealing his stuff. I reminded him I am not responsible for anything in here. No judge would hold me responsible. And I walked away.

Since then no more junk has shown up. Moral of the story:

LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYER

[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 10:23 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)]


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2373 | Registered: Jan 2010
chikastuff
Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

"ex moved out 2 years ago.
I packed up all his stuff and the stuff he didn't take went into the garage.
Just in the last 2 months I got him to take boxes when he came to take the girls for visitation.
I am now down to 2 boxes left.
The only other thing is a big ass drill press that is bolted to my garage cement floor. I tried to take it apart (it's 3 pieces) and the top part is freaking heavy.
I wanted to sell it.
It's the last thing I have to get rid of and the house will truly be mine."

Lola, take a picture of it and post it for sale on CL. Note that whomever buys it has to pick it up.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
Saadnblu
New Member
Member # 40361
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, October 11th (Friday)

This is a late reply. I took so much stuff to the transfer station the first few weeks, it was hard to drive the car there. Mementos we bought together, CDs, DVDs, books, plates, sheets, towels, etc. I've put shoes, clothing, wedding presents from his friends and family in his studio. Meanwhile the chickens got in there and pooped all over the floor. I'm looking forward to clearing more stuff out of the house this weekend and eventually him getting it all and me turning the studio into a beautiful guest space for people who love my son and me. But not before it's exorcised... I love that you told him to get to the second hand store soon before it all was gone.


Me: 58, SAHM
Him: 58, LTA 2.5 years
Married 9 years, together 15
Dday: June 11 2013
DD 9 years
Separated

Posts: 36 | Registered: Aug 2013
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, October 11th (Friday)

I love that you told him to get to the second hand store soon before it all was gone.

By the time I told him, it was probably already too late. :)


Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
Saadnblu
New Member
Member # 40361
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

Even better. Hang in there. He sounds like he likes to warp reality in his favor, and against you.


Me: 58, SAHM
Him: 58, LTA 2.5 years
Married 9 years, together 15
Dday: June 11 2013
DD 9 years
Separated

Posts: 36 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 31