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User Topic: Is someone else in my bed tonight?
Andthencraigslis
New Member
Member # 40246
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, September 30th (Monday)

I just can't stand this, wh has admitted to basically nothing and all I know for sure is he tried to contact a female on CL a couple years ago, and the off handed comment that he has found better ways to deal with his loneliness now, which sounded like a confession at the time. But there are other pieces that are adding up- like the business trip out of the country that he forgot to mention a female friend that worked basically as an intern ( and therefore weird she would be sent) was going on with him ... and came out later in talking about the trip..
.Anyway. Tonight I am out of town with the kids and our house is having work done .wh calls me and tells me he is thinking about getting a hotel room for a few nights because he can't use the shower..... My mind goes to money right away because he is the spender of the two of us and we have some big home repair bills coming up. We have neighbors we are close enough to to shower at their house, our neighborhood has a clubhouse with showers, our good friends own a gym down the street... Plus he works from home most of the time now, so it is not like he needs to shower at 5 am or something, I don't really say anything but get off the phone and started to get upset that he is going to spend $1k on hotels when the repairs on our house are soo much and money will be so tight ...all for showers. I call him back and tell him to go to the clubhouse. He agrees , fast forward a little while later and all I can think ... Did I just take away his hotel excuse- and now he has some whore in our bed ? I call him back later and he tells me he will be too tired to talk tonight so just text him when I get in, I tell him I can barely stay awake driving and can he talk with me awhile and he can't ... I text him when I get in and he responds, and then I respond to his next question and he replies an hour later- clearly not sleeping....

[This message edited by Andthencraigslis at 11:29 PM, September 30th (Monday)]


Posts: 43 | Registered: Aug 2013
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I'm not sure what to make of this, Andthencraigslis. I don't think there's any reason you shouldn't be able to call him. Being too tired is a pretty poor excuse when he is at home.

Do you know your neighbors well enough to ask if they have seen any strange cars in your driveway/on your street while you are at work? Is it possible he could be going out somewhere, and that's why he wanted to be texted instead of called?

It's really hard to say. I know at times we can be paranoid, but when our gut is screaming that something is wrong, then it's usually best to investigate. It's okay to lay down your needs with your husband, too, about about being able to contact him by phone at all times (except for maybe during work meetings, etc.)

Best of luck to you, and keep us posted...


Posts: 7516 | Registered: Dec 2010
Andthencraigslis
New Member
Member # 40246
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Found out from my neighbor he wasn't home, at least when she went by. Haven't yet heard from him this morning. Pretty sure I'm done living like this.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Aug 2013
whatnow8
Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, October 1st (Tuesday)

(((Andthencraigslis))) I'm so sorry.


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Did he end up going to the club? Can you check this against the time your neighbor noticed he wasn't home? Or did he stay out all night?
It is horrible to live with the doubts- and I can certainly understand that. His behavior about calling/texting and the delay seem "off" to me too.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Andthencraigslis
New Member
Member # 40246
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

He claims he was home all night. She said his car wasn't there at 11:00. I didn't talk anymore about it or tip him off that she saw he wasn't home. I think I need to just sit on it until I get back home and then figure out how to get some proof and how to prepare myself for moving on.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Aug 2013
Andthencraigslis
New Member
Member # 40246
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

He claims he was home all night. She said his car wasn't there at 11:00. I didn't talk anymore about it or tip him off that she saw he wasn't home. I think I need to just sit on it until I get back home and then figure out how to get some proof and how to prepare myself for moving on.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 7