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User Topic: I looked at OW Facebook page again
SoAngryAndHurt
Member
Member # 40150
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Why? Why do I do it? It's effin killing me. Why can't I stop myself? She is so hideous!! Please smack me and tell me to stop looking.


Me BW 41
Him WH 35
2 kiddos elementary school age
Married 11 years
05/20/13 let the rugsweeping & TT begin
07/01/13 finally!! The whole truth. Admits to EA/PA

Posts: 77 | Registered: Aug 2013
Broken1Again
Member
Member # 32211
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

SMACK!!! STOP LOOKING!!

This is counterproductive to your R whether with your spouse or on your own (not sure what your status is) but regardless it is counterproductive!

SMACK AGAIN! (In case you were thinking about looking!!)

But seriously pretend that Fb keeps track of who is looking at your page. Do you want her to know how many times you look???? NO! So don't do it!


BS: 40
WS: 42
Two boys 13/11
Married 15 years
Dday: too Many to remember. 3 significant OW and many "less"'significant OW. Believe WS has bad boundaries and craves the attention.
In R.

Posts: 859 | Registered: May 2011
heartbroken2012
Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I obsess over the OW as well. Its a hard habit to break...I am failing.

The OW was much older than me, old looking, frumpy looking, horrible hair cut, and so hill billie....I dont get it.


BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 544 | Registered: Jan 2013
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Your d-day is recent? I understand so no 2x4s from me.

But you know it's a HUGE trigger, yes?

IMO, we sometimes torture ourselves...I cannot really say why...especially in the early stages of this crap. It's like a horrible car accident, KWIM?

Hugs...


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 26
5yo GS & 18 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/14(DD30) and 2yo GD(DD26). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 4944 | Registered: May 2007
Peaches2013
Member
Member # 40852
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I keep doing it too. The issue with me is we have friends in common, so she pops up occassionally. So I get to see her and her 2 million face/cleavage selfies. *sigh*


Me: BS
Him: WH ONS/short EA
Married 11 years
Together 15 years
2 children

Posts: 64 | Registered: Oct 2013
bionicgal
Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

OK, I just did this. Why do I do it?
She was/is not the issue. She could have been anyone, and she doesn't mean anything to my H. (Anymore - he was foggy for a few weeks.) She is a waste of space in my brain, quite frankly.

So, why? When I see her ridiculous mug smiling for the camera, pretending her life is dandy, why does it make me so mad?? She is the facebook queen (totally obsessed, lives through it) and to be honest, I want tp post on her wall what a lowlife, broken person she is.



me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1738 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
mainlyinpain
Member
Member # 39134
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I equate it to when you have a sore tooth and you keep poking at it with your tongue.

For me the OW doesn't have a fb page that I know of but her adult daughter does and that is where I found my evidence and where there are still two years later, pictures of my husband. I am so afraid of my son or future grandchildren seeing these some day but I am powerless to remove them.


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 481 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Midwest
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I'm sorry. It is really hard not to look. Can you just block her? I know you can always unblock, but at least it's an extra step you'd have to go through in order to go down the rabbit hole?


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6514 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

So, why? When I see her ridiculous mug smiling for the camera, pretending her life is dandy, why does it make me so mad?? She is the facebook queen (totally obsessed, lives through it) and to be honest, I want tp post on her wall what a lowlife, broken person she is.

I think because no matter how much we KNOW the truth, the fact remains that this person is an interloper. She attacked you (general), your life, your financial security, the emotional well being of your children. If someone had broken into my house I would want retribution. I just think it is NORMAL. I am 6 years out and I couldn't give a shit about her, but I also wouldn't piss on her if she were on fire.

It's a dichotomy, man.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6281 | Registered: Jan 2011
momwith2boys
New Member
Member # 37459
DOH!  Posted: 3:35 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I do this too. I blocked her and then yesterday after having her blocked for about two weeks I unblocked her. I know it can't be healthy that I do this! After I wished I didn't because there were pictures of her and her bs on a fun date night. Then I think why does she get to be happy while I am sitting here hurt and obsessing over her and the A. I have been very tempted to post on her page but what I think of her so all her Facebook friends will see that she isn't so perfect after all.


Me BW 34
husband 34
Married 9 years, together 12 years
OW-my so called "friend"
2 boys (6 & 2)
D-day 10/17/2012
D-day2-2/24/2013 told me it was her
D-day3-6/16/2013 found out affair never ended
Working on R

Posts: 34 | Registered: Nov 2012
kickboxer
Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

She stalked me for months...I had no idea. She was laughing at me, picking me apart, and finding satisfaction in every flaw. My husband fueled her with his words of affection and imaginary intimacy.

I understand...I keep tabs on OW as well. We're only about 12 weeks out from DD...maybe it will change one day, but for now I see her as an enemy to my family, and I don't trust enough to lose track of her yet.


BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
mainlyinpain
Member
Member # 39134
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Keep your enemies closer


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 481 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Midwest
cuppacoffee
Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Our d day was 4 months ago and I was repeatly checking out her FB and her bf because his was open. It made me so mad to see him talking about how happy they are and how awesome she is.

Last week I decided I did not need to see any of it because well I was madder at my husband last week than skankface. I haven't peeked at her since. I did hear she didn't get the jobs she applied for and that did make me smile though.

I feel your pain. It's hard to decide not to sit and look at her and wonder why her? Why was she worth so much to your husband to throw it away for some ass? But at the end of the day she wasn't nothing but some designer imposter perfume. She's only worth the $10 you pay for her whereas you are the real deal and cost more per ounce because you are beautiful inside and out. Your character is worth more.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 359 | Registered: May 2013
lovedmesomehim
Member
Member # 25743
Default  Posted: 3:14 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

SMACK!!! STOP LOOKING!!
This is counterproductive to your R whether with your spouse or on your own (not sure what your status is) but regardless it is counterproductive!

SMACK AGAIN! (In case you were thinking about looking!!)

LOL! Broken1Again, where were you when I needed you?

I was so guilty of this and still have a slip up or two during my trigger season.

It's pitiful, because I started stalking her during the "mySpace" era.


Posts: 456 | Registered: Oct 2009
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 3:29 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

We look because we want answers, we are hoping to find something our WS left out.

You will not find them on FB or online anywhere.

Maybe OW is a complete hag (yay, we feel better) or she's not (ugh, we feel worse)...now what?

Bottom line - hag or beauty queen, OW has nothing on you, YOU are awesome. She is not and never will be.



Posts: 14320 | Registered: Jun 2008
sad34
Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 4:18 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

I've been so guilty if thAt. It makes it more real for me. Because I wasn't there while they were screwing it grounds me in a way. Then it just pisses me off and I want to scream because she gets to go along with her normal life and I'm depressed and staring at the fat loser.
Haven't done it in awhile though!!!
Good luck it's a hard habit to break! Hugs!!!


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 138 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
Topic Posts: 16