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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Funny Fantasy Revenge
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I know that revenge is not productive. I have not participated in any of that with STBX or OW because 1) I have my eyes on the END GAME and don't want to do anything to jeopordize my legal situation and 2) because I don't want to be emotionally engaged with him or his skankwhore.

But...a girl has to dream doesn't she...

What are some of your funny revenge fantasies or stories you heard from others:

Here is my story: Someone I know (who is *NOT ME*) decided to cut the crotch out of every single pair of pants left in his closet.

I have another fantasy, but I will sae that one for later...

Anyone else??


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Hope it's okay to pop in here and share these.

With my X-WH, I had this fantasy. It was quite elaborate, actually. I fantasized about hiring someone to abduct him and forcibly tattoo his genitals with something that looked like a horrible disease. That way he'd either have to go thru the pain of having it removed, or have his nads look like they were rotting off for the rest of his life.

In my current sitch, I briefly considered boxing up my vibrators, etc with a note that said, "Since you obviously like playing with my used sex toys, I thought I'd send you these" and sending to OW.

After her mother, to whom I fondly refer as TrashMo, called to threaten me with legal action for "slandering" her daughter, I wanted to take out a full page ad in the newspaper: "CORRECTION: P..... Ch..... is not a nasty whore and I apologize for making that statement. Just because she slept with my husband and took money from him does NOT make her a bad person."


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2811 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Oh I had a few. The main one was papering a 2k radius around his office outing him - cheating, cocaine, OWUmpteen, Genital Herpes together with a print out of a very personal email he sent me in False R. He has been at that company the entire 25 years of his professional life (he started the year OWUmpteen/his office gopher was born ).

The other was outing OWUglyIndian to her entire community. I even Googled all of the temples in the area she is from and found their email addresses.

Revenge fantasies have their place for a time. Better out than in, as they say. Fine to visit but not a good place to stay.

I no longer have revenge fantasies - even him blowing up his life doesn't make me happy or sad. It is just happening to some loser-guy I used to know (although it does still sometimes make me chuckle).

Indifference is the best, most complete and permanent revenge. The irony being that once it comes you won't care to have that revenge. I'm not quite there yet myself.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 8:54 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Snapdragon
Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

It wasn't a fantasy. I actually did it. But it was subtle. I had a strict plan to stick to the high road no matter how thin the oxygen became.

I started picking at the threads in the crotch or seat of his suit pants. Loosening them up just this much so you couldn't tell. But when the seam was stressed.... uh oh!!!

Then, I would let air out of his tires. Not completely. Just enough that he would have to stop and refill. One at a time. Randomly so that he'd find it in the morning as if it had all night to get low.

Yeah... petty. But it inconvenienced him.

The fantasies? Oh so much more malevolent and involving hitting him at his ego.
*causing him to go bald,
*getting him fat (remember the movie Mean Girls?),
*causing him to get a horrible outbreak of acne,
*causing his credit cards to be frozen so he couldn't wine and dine the stripper OW,
*telling everyone he was a one-pump-chump
*telling everyone how he was a "mark" for a 20 yr old stripper and was falling for it hook, line, and checkbook

Ahhh..... those were the days.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3088 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
HurtsButImOK
Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

My ultimate revenge fantasy:

He ends up with someone just like him

shudder, what a horrible thought!


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I started picking at the threads in the crotch or seat of his suit pants. Loosening them up just this much so you couldn't tell. But when the seam was stressed.... uh oh!!!

This one is going into the bank if I ever have the misfortune of a WHv2.0.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Dawn58
Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Oh boy, so many revenge fantasies!!! So many!!! I had to laugh when I read some of the ones that were posted because I shared the same thoughts.

He's getting what he deserves as he and the skank are engaged. They both are getting what they deserve.

Good riddance!! He cheated with her and will cheat on her. He cheated on his second wife, his third wife (me) and will cheat again. Okay, some venting here. He will never find true happiness and will die a lonely, despised old man. She will go through the pain that their affair has put me through. She'll be posting on this website at some point in time, wrapped up in a ball on the floor, sobbing her heart out. Her kids will be devastated as my son was. And he'll be off with someone else.

And I will be healed, strong, happy and so over him!!!!!! YES!! Sounds like the perfect payback!!


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 484 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

I plan on doing this just before STBXH returns from Afghanistan for good in a few months.

I just need to find out the legalities of it first...i.e. if I can be charged with harrassment or slander.

I want to make about 200 flyers with several pictures of her and him on it and under it let them know which apartment they live in and that he is a cheater and she is a homewrecking whore.

Then, I want to put a flyer on EVERY door in the complex and every car window!

Any lawyers out there with good advice.

Otherwise see how much for a billboard and advertise with a picture of them and that they are cheaters. Would love to find a billboard close by where they live where they HAVE to drive by it.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2342 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

My big fantasy is that XH & main OW get M'd (if that hasn't happened already). And stay that way.

I put OW on the cheater website. 3 million hits and counting. XH may/may not make an appearance on it as well.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 768 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

My brother has a work trailer with a hydraulic dump bed that he uses to take stuff to the dump. For a while, we had a tentative plan to fill it with a couple of tons of dog shit and dump it in New Dad's front yard. That would have been awesome.

[This message edited by h0peless at 1:22 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


Posts: 1756 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
chikastuff
Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Not revenge, but I often fantasize about what would have happened if 1. his suicide attempts had been successful, or 2. I had called 911 during his suicide attempts.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Here is my other one:

OW house is for sale. If there is an open house, use realtor friend and send one of my people in there to take a look. Use bathroom, and locate shampoo. Fill shampoo bottle with NAIR type hair remover. Also, leave huge DUMP in the toilet. Put fleas or bed bugs or something in the bedroom. While it would Not be provable, but certainly all signs would point back to me... unless there are other homes she has wrecked. So, it is just a fantasy, but I am loving it nonetheless. BTW- that one would work for the cheating H or W too!

I try not to emotionally engage with what those two broken down pathetic losers are doing or thinking...so I don't really go there with regard to snooping, following, etc, but MAN OH MAN do I like to think about funny things I could do to humiliate them...


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
jagged
Member
Member # 32317
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Some of these are truly inspired. My hat is off to y'all.

I had the opportunity for revenge fall almost literally into my lap, in the form of XWW's then-BFF, (and her partner in crime at many "let's play single girl" GNOs). While she was separated from her own H, she wanted to hook up on numerous occasions, including showing up on my doorstep on several occasions after a night out with XWW.

No, I never did, but it was clear that XWW thought I did...and I suppose that was enough for me. They're no longer friends.

[This message edited by jagged at 2:20 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


One foot in and one foot back
But it don't pay to live like that
So I cut the ties and I jumped the tracks
For never to return

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: TX
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Wow these are great.
The big one I had was reporting her to the board in her state and having her disbarred for repeated offenses of making sexual advances on potential clients.

Of course there was the breast cancer scare shortly after Dday that he used for an excuse to break NC, for which I fantasized that her breasts were rotting off.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8744 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Also, leave huge DUMP in the toilet.

Might I suggest doing an Upper Decker instead?


Posts: 1756 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
haysuth01
Member
Member # 29161
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

This isn't mine, it's my XH's story, which I heard from his sister...

A couple of years ago around Xmas, XH and Wifetress (then just his GF) were living together. She had issues with his being "friendly" with me, wanted us to hate each other, wanted me to go through her for stuff regarding our son. Total whacko. Anyhoo, this didn't apply to her though- she still thought she should be allowed to hang out with her ex-fiance, whom she'd cheated on XH with just a year before. Anyway, XH was not cool with it so she said she'd stop.

So about a week before Xmas, Wifetress says she's going to a hockey game with some GFs. She did go to the game- but she went with ex-fiance, and got spotted by XHs brother. Who promptly told on her.

The next day, XH woke up early, packed up all the presents he'd gotten her- quite a bit, as XH is very good at the Xmas thing- and took them ALL BACK. EVERY SINGLE ONE. He wrapped an empty box with a note in it that said, "Maybe ex-fiance can buy you Xmas this year" and gave it to her. She FREAKED OUT on him, destroyed some things in their house, upset because she wouldn't be getting Xmas.

A month later, they got engaged. But it's still impressive.

[This message edited by haysuth01 at 2:38 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


XBS
Divorced 5/07.
DS-7! What?!
Happily remarried, B/G twins (5).

Posts: 220 | Registered: Jul 2010
haysuth01
Member
Member # 29161
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Might I suggest doing an Upper Decker instead?

Um, dare I ask what this is???


XBS
Divorced 5/07.
DS-7! What?!
Happily remarried, B/G twins (5).

Posts: 220 | Registered: Jul 2010
jagged
Member
Member # 32317
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

A couple of years ago around Xmas, XH and Wifetress (then just his GF) were living together. She had issues with his being "friendly" with me, wanted us to hate each other, wanted me to go through her for stuff regarding our son. Total whacko. Anyhoo, this didn't apply to her though- she still thought she should be allowed to hang out with her ex-fiance, whom she'd cheated on XH with just a year before. Anyway, XH was not cool with it so she said she'd stop.

So about a week before Xmas, Wifetress says she's going to a hockey game with some GFs. She did go to the game- but she went with ex-fiance, and got spotted by XHs brother. Who promptly told on her.

The next day, XH woke up early, packed up all the presents he'd gotten her- quite a bit, as XH is very good at the Xmas thing- and took them ALL BACK. EVERY SINGLE ONE. He wrapped an empty box with a note in it that said, "Maybe ex-fiance can buy you Xmas this year" and gave it to her. She FREAKED OUT on him, destroyed some things in their house, upset because she wouldn't be getting Xmas.

A month later, they got engaged. But it's still impressive.

^ THIS. This is the epitome of revenge, right here. That our XWS ends up with someone just like them. Priceless.

It's a fantasy, but in reality, I do not want my girls subjected to that bullshit when they're around XWW. Rather, I hope that she finds enough happiness to keep her willfully-untreated depression and probable BPD in check until they're out of the house.


One foot in and one foot back
But it don't pay to live like that
So I cut the ties and I jumped the tracks
For never to return

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: TX
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Might I suggest doing an Upper Decker instead?

I was thinking that too!

And if the heating is vents, maybe drop something fishy down there ...


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 768 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Um, dare I ask what this is???

You still take a shit in the toilet and you still leave it there but instead of going in the bowl, you crap in the tank.


Posts: 1756 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

h0peless
Upper decker....priceless and hilarious! Love it!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2342 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
imagoodwitch
Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

OMG h0peless

I'm dying over here!

Just gonna file that on away

[This message edited by imagoodwitch at 4:37 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5459 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

You still take a shit in the toilet and you still leave it there but instead of going in the bowl, you crap in the tank.

Did everyone have a quick visual of themselves trying to do this or is it just me?

I'm thinking you're a bit bendier than I am h0peless!! I don't think I could balance AND do the business.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
LadyQ
Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

This isn't revenge that I could perform, but...

I am hoping that the cumdumpster ends up pregnant (she has 4 kids with 4 different baby daddies, of said children she has custody of only one--see my post about finding her arrest record!). With triplets. And then, X needs to have an attack of ED and we'll see how long their lurve lasts!


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Hmmmm....
....sometimes I wish ex-shat knew about this site and could come here and read my posts. He works so hard to present a put together facade...if he had any idea of the shit I've posted here...god, it just makes me laugh thinking about his reaction.

The best revenge is seeing him saddled with his idiot stripper.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Oh Tesla, I so feel that one. I've been sorely tempted to copy and paste a few of my and other posts and email the the dirtbag.
He's been giving the pity me story, then giving more money than he has been ordered to. Likes to tell EVERYBODY how I take him for all he's worth (5% of his base salary), and how he takes "such good care of HIS wife" when she needs money.
Hmmmm, have to figure the logistics of how I'd get an upper decker in his and Shrek's toilet! LOL


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2342 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

If you've ever read The World According to Garp ...the driveway scene!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4157 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
haysuth01
Member
Member # 29161
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

h0peless... Dead, I'm dead over here.

I learn something new every day!


XBS
Divorced 5/07.
DS-7! What?!
Happily remarried, B/G twins (5).

Posts: 220 | Registered: Jul 2010
sunsetslost
Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

I'm working on mine Can't give details yet. But trust me, it'll be real, practical and final.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
AussieMum
Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

Upper decker LOVE it. Not sure I'd be agile enough to succeed though!

One of my revenge fantasies (and there are many) is to post some of his sleazy, half naked webcam photos to his FB page, the bare-chested ones showing off his grey chest hair where he's giving the camera a 'come get me' look. Funny what you find in the recycle bin.

I'm hoping OW3 cheats on him and he ends up alone, poor baby.


Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

Oh my god, this is the *best*thread*ever*

If anyone has any practical, untraceable, realistic and not illegal ideas please PM me if you don't want to post them here. I want to know for my own reasons and then maybe I am going to start a new business carrying out these fantasies for people....make millions with all these discusting cheaters
out there...hahahaha


I love love love the upper decker, hopeless, that is so awesome.If there is an open house I am going to try and do that (although I usually can't poop on demand)

Hopeless- BTW-if you haven't already been there...I frequent the urban dictionary website often to find the funniest, discusting and most hilarious words most of which I have never heard of...like 'felcher' 'arabian sandstorm' and 'blimpkin' so funny!


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
Topic Posts: 31