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User Topic: looking for advice and support
strongerdaybyday
Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

I guess I just need to vent. I triggered really badly yesterday - so much so I feel residual effects today. I barely wanted to get out of bed and off to work.

Anyway, my H, who is normally supportive, says he is "sick of it" and why can't I just "get over it" because he has apologized profusely. ummm...excuse me? I said to him "YOU did this, you can't fix it with an apology"

I spent so much of my time thinking about him and OW...I was doing so well until yesterday, IDK, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Bring on the tears and the yelling, all the stuff I thought I was done with. Guess not.

And then H has the audacity to say I was using this as an excuse to leave. WHAT THE FUCK?????? I'm an emotional mess and he says, I'm using this as an excuse to leave??????? So what? Is he blameshifting? He said, "My dad had a LTA and my mom forgave him" yeah. his mom did a lot of rug sweeping and crying over her husbands bullshit. So, I decided to 180 him. I am so angry and hurt and depressed. The day after dday I literally wanted to die and I never want to feel like that again.

Sorry if this is long or incoherent. I just needed to get my thoughts down, because, right now I've decided to do the 180 and it's killing me.


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

my H, who is normally supportive, says he is "sick of it" and why can't I just "get over it" because he has apologized profusely.

^^^This shows a lack of remorse and respect. I used to get this a lot from my husband.

If he is truly remorseful and supportive he'll sit next to you when you're feeling like this and apologize a thousand times more. He has a LOT of work to do if he wants to make it work and saying garbage like that isn't one of them.

Also, just because his mom stayed with his dad doesn't mean she forgave him. All that means is that generation didn't divorce, they turned a blind eye to most everything and stayed in an unhealthy/unhappy marriage. That doesn't equal forgiveness. That's also a pretty shitty thing to say to you.

I'm sorry you're hurting. Sending you (((HUGS))) and strength today.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
strongerdaybyday
Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Thank you simplydevastated. I could quote your whole response because I agree with it all.


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 3