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New Beginnings
User Topic: I know, I know...but I gotta vent about old somewhere
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

...took a break from OLD, but decided to go back on. I just keep hoping I will find a decent guy out there, and this is currently, besides Starbucks, the only way for me to meet new people. I saw one or two I am vaguely interested in meeting, so I made my profile "show" for a few days.

This man, 52 years old, sends me a really great message, so I read his profile, although out of my age interest. I couldn't believe everything he listed:
*only wants someone in her early 40's because people in his family live a long time.
*he made a ton of money and well educated so he wants someone younger that can have more "topic" conversations and can keep up with his mind.
*he looks better in person than his photos show (he looked late 50's and overweight).
*on and on about how he is a "Dr." and now is "just teaching because he has a calling"
*how he is only attracted to younger, attractive women.

...and if that wasn't enough to make me run away screaming....the clincher...

"You can have kids at home, but they can't tie you down needlessly."

I responded to his great email with, "Thank you for the email, but my kids tie me down needlessly. Good luck in your search."

Was I a bitch? I hope so.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

OMG....while typing my last message...I get this in my inbox:

Hello Pretty Angel

Hello,

I hope you are having a great time out there? When I look into your eyes on your photo, I can see life and my greatest dreams in you, I see strength and comfort, I see endless joy and undying faith, I see the rays of inspiration shine through the clouds, the flames of passion warm the night I see home and all of the heart's purest emotions. looking for a soul mate, it we be so blessed for you to be my Angel because you are so beautiful and attractive you got me acquainted,Please i will love to communicate with you via my private email address. The reason is that Due to the nature of my JOB i won't be able to check my meetme account all the time,Please do find a place in your heart to contact my email address.

Please Kindly Contact me with my email address ( XXX ) for us to get to know each other better.I believe God has something great for both of us.my regard to your family and have a pleasant day ahead.

With Love And Respect,

XXX

Seriously. What? Just..what? It looks like a scam email to me...and the photos look like your average joe.

Ahhh...the joys of OLD.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
just_breathe
Member
Member # 28373
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

That's hilarious!! What on earth? Next, he/she will write that they just inherited $2,174,277, and they need your help to transfer the money from their bank account to yours.


Married 30+
BS 54
Serial cheater-58 NPD, alcoholic/addict

Happily divorced since 2/1/11

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.


Posts: 172 | Registered: Apr 2010
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

Wow. Just...wow.

Posts: 35919 | Registered: Mar 2011
Rella
Member
Member # 21136
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

cmego,

You will meet a lot of "wanna-be's" on line. It's pretty obvious that this guy probably actually lives in his mother's basement! LOL

Your response was perfect. Block him from any further contact attempts. :)


Happily Divorced- final in Oct. 2009, Engaged to my True Love in Dec. 2012

When his family jokingly tells you of how "spoiled" HE was as a child, RUN- It doesn't change when they get older!


Posts: 2206 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: New England
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)

What the hell does "tie you down needlessly" even mean?????


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3124 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

This is going on the quote thread....


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

What the hell does "tie you down needlessly" even mean?????
I just had a mental pic of a herd of toddlers staking some poor woman to the ground with cloth diapers and crib sheets- Lilliputian style!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6540 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Abbondad
Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

Good god. Is this what I have to look forward to???


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
Grace and Flowers
Member
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

Yeah, that second one is a scam. I got those all the time. Weirdly worded poor English, wanting to move to off-site communication ASAP, trying to be romantic, and just sounding foolish. It's just a script. I cannot tell you how many times I got those. Frequently using the EXACT SAME SCRIPT. I would just report them as scammers to the website, but there's really no stopping them....

Good luck!


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1176 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

I had to read it a couple of times...here is some of it is, for your viewing pleasure...

"I am also very level headed and pragmatic, although I like to try new things and am very open minded. I have visited about 30 states and have also traveled to many foreign countries. I have many hobbies and interests.
I used to be a big time Wall Street executive, but I decided to get back into teaching a couple of years ago, and now teach at a major university. I have the summers off and would like to find someone who is high-powered, smart, funny, interesting, indepenedent, and passionate who is also intelligent. Ideally I would prefer someone who is low maintenance, and who lives no more than 120 miles away. It would be terrific if they were happy, goal oriented, a go-getter, and could function successfully in their own career. I like to cuddle, and intimacy are important to me.

Kids at home are fine, as long as they're not small and needlessly tie you down."

...it goes on and on...next it gets into why he should only have someone 10 years younger. Now, mind you...I know I was slightly older having my kids. But, if you are looking for someone in their early 40's isn't it a good possibility she will have youngish kids??

Isn't that the point of kids?? They DO tie you down. So, why not look for someone his own age that *generally* will have kids out of the nest? This is a man who doesn't understand the meaning of children.

Yeah, I'm getting some doozies today!

Fun times

Oh, and I looked at the one that sounded like he was going to ask me to help him with money...it is a perfectly normal looking profile. No odd misspellings in the profile, just a good 'ol country boy. But, there is only one photo, and it looks like it was taken in front of a sheet. Oh, and he lives in Utah. I'm in Virginia. I do get the occasional odd email from out of state, that wasn't too weird, the whole thing just doesn't quite add up. I wonder if I should report him? I've already blocked him.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
alphakitte
Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

hope you are having a great time out there? When I look into your eyes on your photo, I can see life and my greatest dreams in you, I see strength and comfort, I see endless joy and undying faith, I see the rays of inspiration shine through the clouds, the flames of passion warm the night I see home and all of the heart's purest emotions. looking for a soul mate, it we be so blessed for you to be my Angel because you are so beautiful and attractive you got me acquainted,Please i will love to communicate with you via my private email address. The reason is that Due to the nature of my JOB i won't be able to check my meetme account all the time,Please do find a place in your heart to contact my email address.

If you google this you will find that it is a romancescam that has been circulating for quite some time.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 350 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
trumanshow
Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

yep-a scam. I'm sure all his family is dead and he grew up in Europe

Meet me site is even worse than Match


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1753 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

This is going on the quote thread....

Jrazz, you just made my day!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
inhishands55
Member
Member # 9454
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

Yea, be very careful on Christain Mingle too...They think if you love God they will have a special place in your heart for them....They will play with all kinds of words to get your sympathy...I don't think these men and women will ever go away on those sites...

There is a special place for those kind of people too...


Posts: 408 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: The Tarheel State, in the mts.
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, October 6th (Sunday)

"Thank you for the email, but my kids tie me down needlessly. Good luck in your search."

lol. I love it!

He sounds like as ass.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, October 6th (Sunday)

That other one is definitely a scam. I can't believe there is anyone that would fall for that!


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, October 6th (Sunday)

I actually met some decent folks on line. I went out a few times with someone who taught at Harvard. Fascinating fellow. I met my beloved GDM on line. He is fabulous. I had a few interesting dates that didn't go anywhere, but that is okay.

I think the key is to be discriminating. Know what you want and don't settle. Set the bar high, but be open to new experiences (I almost didn't reach out to GDM, and I know he wouldn't have reached out to me).

Are there scammers and users out there? Certainly. But there are also good people looking for something positive and healthy.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29666 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, October 6th (Sunday)

Oh, I take it all with a grain of salt now. It is more humous than anything!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, October 6th (Sunday)

Geez. He sounds like a winner! I guess he wouldn't like me since I have my 4 yr old twins 90% of the time....'needlessly tieing me down'.



Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, October 7th (Monday)

Oh, lawd! Gotta share my old story from yesterday!!

Decent guy contacts me, no photo, but respectful, well educated, polite, I like his profile. I do notice he lists himself as "separated"...with no photo...alarm bell!

I respond to his email, since you never know, told him I needed a photo to go any further. He sends me one (to my dummy OLD email account...).

He asks if I want to go play tennis, because he is looking for "friends first".

I responded that I have enough friends, we aren't on the same place because I am ready to date. So...of course, me being me...I ask him why he wants "friends first".

His response? "Well, my ex and I will never get back together, she was cheating on me. We separated 6 weeks ago and I have my first meeting with the lawyer next week. My lawyer told me not to date. "

I told him that I wanted nothing to do with his situation, and stopped a little short of basically telling him what a stupid shit he was being on OLD at 6 weeks out.

Then he told me he was really looking to just talk to women, and could he contact me when his situation was better?

6 weeks. He hasn't even seen a lawyer yet and on OLD. Wow. That was a record for me.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

^^^Yikes!^^^

Recently talked on line to a guy from OLD who wrote me about his situation; "we are separated and divorcing, but living in the same house" uh, no thanks! He keeps looking at my profile too...really guy, give yourself some time for your meal to settle before you jump in the on line dating swimming pool, you're going to get cramps!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3209 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, October 11th (Friday)

I responded to his great email with, "Thank you for the email, but my kids tie me down needlessly. Good luck in your search."

Was I a bitch? I hope so.

YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
clralb
Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, October 11th (Friday)

"Oh, I have kids, but they do not tie me down needlessly. If they start to interfere with my social life, I put them in large crates with water and some Cheerios in a bowl to munch on. I know they're safe that way and I don't have to fork over my beer money for a baby-sitter.

After all, I have a life too, ya know.

I wouldn't listen to your lawyer. What does he know anyway? Heck, I just got out of a long-term relationship five days ago, and I think it's great to just jump right back on the horse. You never know when you'll miss your chance at a great catch."

Yeah, if I'm in the mood, sometimes I am quite the smartass. I amuse myself!

Thank goodness I'm not an OLD.....yet!

ETA: "Oh, yeah, I have great edumucated to. If you wanna to just conversate on the phone now and then, call me!"

[This message edited by clralb at 6:41 PM, October 11th (Friday)]


"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha

Posts: 681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
FlySomeday
Member
Member # 35150
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, October 11th (Friday)

OMG CMEGO! I see some nice Gems have found you! Idiots. Just effing idiots. Guess you have to have a sense of humor to tolerate OLD. I'm in a similar situation re: no other place to meet folks. I'm getting to bail and take a break myself. Thanks for the laughs at a few of your interests though. Hilarious. Keep your chin up.

-Fly


Digging Deep in the Mud

Posts: 232 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Virginia
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, October 21st (Monday)

WHAT do they think I"m going to do when I get an email like THIS from OLD?

"Your the One !!!

I just fell in love. Lol. I know it's nuts !!!!

So Beautiful.

WXXXX"


Holy crap.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Iamhappytoday
Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 12:08 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

"I am also very level headed and pragmatic, although I like to try new things and am very open minded. I have visited about 30 states and have also traveled to many foreign countries. I have many hobbies and interests.
I used to be a big time Wall Street executive, but I decided to get back into teaching a couple of years ago, and now teach at a major university. I have the summers off and would like to find someone who is high-powered, smart, funny, interesting, indepenedent, and passionate who is also intelligent. Ideally I would prefer someone who is low maintenance, and who lives no more than 120 miles away. It would be terrific if they were happy, goal oriented, a go-getter, and could function successfully in their own career. I like to cuddle, and intimacy are important to me."

I made a joke in innocent jest, a very simple joke, not realizing how minor it was that it violated guidelines.

I apologize! I honestly didn't think anything about it when I wrote it since it more speaks to past events, but message understood! :)

My apologies!

[This message edited by Iamhappytoday at 3:29 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)]


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Red  Posted: 10:02 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

Iamhappytoday...

Please be aware of the guideline below.


NO POLITICS: We have zero tolerance of discussing politics here. No names, jokes, polls or debates are allowed. Violation of this guideline results in losing your profile.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198321 | Registered: May 2002
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I like to cuddle, and intimacy are important to me.
Oh those pesky verb tenses...can't get past those when English isn't your native language! You'd think a high powered executive turned University professor would be able to make that last sentence a little less tell-tale! Reminds me of what my father always said "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is a Nigerian scam."


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3209 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Topic Posts: 29