User Topic: Diagnosis: Asshole
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, October 4th (Friday)

I am so sick of trying to figure out wtf is wrong with WH. He has traits of about 109990 different personality disorders. So I am done with dissecting him, done with the books, all of it.

My new catchall diagnosis: He is a fucking asshole.

Simple. And probably incurable.


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 661 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, October 4th (Friday)

it's gone viral.

mine has the disorder, too!

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, October 4th (Friday)

The best subject line ever. Period.

Posts: 1430 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, October 4th (Friday)

At the end of the day I think for myself it would make it easier to be able to stick X with a convenient label.

Truthfully X is just a garden variety asshole. I do believe that asseholitis is incurable.

I still read up on 'labels' to arm myself and help me move forward though. I have accepted that it is not my job to cure him. That's his current whore's job

Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, October 4th (Friday)

I'm a little bitter today so I would just like to say..
Isn't just GREAT how the WS Is all happy and relieved now that the stress of lying is over? I'm soooo glad that I get to work in healing him now too. Fabulous. I love my H and am happy we are trying to move forward. But really? Could he just stop looking so effing pleased that he's "finding himself now?"

Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, October 4th (Friday)

finding himself? how many rocks has he already looked under..

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Member # 35656
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, October 4th (Friday)


ME: BS 41
Him FWH 43
Married 20 years together 22 at the time.
Working thru R.

Posts: 275 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, October 4th (Friday)

I wish they would just put a like button at the bottom of posts, just like on face book. I would have hit that thing a few times by now!

1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 373 | Registered: Aug 2013
Getting to Happy
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, October 4th (Friday)

Sounds like your going to need an "ASSHOLE-ECTOMY"...

Hang in there Bravenewgirl!

With your strength and humor your going to make it!!

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1141 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 4:50 AM, October 7th (Monday)

Thanks guys.

This has actually been really freeing to me. I was spending shitloads of mental energy trying to figure him out, and understand him better, making excuses (oh, he is a cheating fucktard because he was not breastfed for long enough...blah blah blah, etc etc)

Now its like:

Q: Why would he forget to text when he promised he would?

A. Asshole.

Q: Why won't he say I love you more often like I need him to?

A. Asshole.

Q. Why does he spend more energy protecting OWs feelings than mine?

A. Asshole.

Q: Why wont't he read the books I want him to?

A. Asshole.

Q. Why did he cheat on me for two years?


I have concluded that whatever the hell happened to WH in his childhood, it does not give him a green light to treat me like crap.


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 661 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 5:15 AM, October 7th (Monday)

My husband caught it too only add emotionally blackmailing asshole to mine.

BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
Member # 39987
Default  Posted: 6:21 AM, October 7th (Monday)

One of the last gifts I gave to my stbx was monogrammed. The way his initials fell on the item I renamed him Real Asshole Extraordinaire.

Must be a common disease that affects WS.

Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, October 7th (Monday)

Love this
My husband has bipolar which means he has a harder job that others and is sick and all that crap which means I have to be supportive as I already have traumatised kids who have dealt with suicide attempts and the police turning up at the door when he's gone AWOL

But bipolar is not the only diagnosis
He too is an asshole

Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."

Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
Member # 19825
Default  Posted: 6:45 AM, October 7th (Monday)

Thank you for this post. I also have spent way to much time and energy on trying to figure WS out also, I love your thinking, I think I am going to take that same diagnosis and stop wasting my time.


He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!

Love kills slowly.

Posts: 1648 | Registered: Jun 2008
Topic Posts: 14