User Topic: Said be home by
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, October 4th (Friday)

When your WS was having A did they say they would be home at a certain time but didn't? Mine said so and he's not home

We just discussed this last night wow I'm the dumb ass here.

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 37043
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, October 4th (Friday)

Yes, mine did that during his 2nd A. During the first one, he was always home when I expected him to be. Being home early or late or on-time is not, in and of itself, an indicator of an A.

However, I think your bigger issue is that in order to reconcile - if that's what you are at least considering, given you are living with him and caring about his whereabouts - he needs to understand that his being home late is a big trigger. It hurts you, it scares you. At this critical time, he can't run late. And if he has to, he needs to communicate with you and prove that he is in an acceptable place. So, whether he is in an ongoing A or not, he's being an ass and totally disregarding your feelings and needs.

Me, BS, 30s
Him, WS, 30s, Steppenwolf
Kids: Yep
D-Day 1: September 2011, 6 week EA
D-Day 2: January 2013, discovered EA was a PA; there was another PA in 2010. All TT.
Goal = serenity.

Posts: 667 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, October 4th (Friday)

Your right totally right the ball is in his court I can't do it anymore

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

Yes.. Mine always gave me some excuse.. Get this he texted me saying catching the next bus home. I text 30 min layers he says he missed it. Ok??
Walks through the door 3 hours later.
I found out hr was fucking her at the park and ride. I guess he was waiting for her.
Mother fucking bastard. I hate him.

Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

I'm sorry That happened to you why do they do this to us we don't deserve this no matter what arguements we have had

yeah his phones off and he said he'd be home at 6 it's 12:19 I can't take anymore so much for proving his love freaking bullshit

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

his phones off and he said he'd be home at 6 it's 12:19

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8071 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 32211
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

Yes my WS has done this to me. It's a terrible thing to do to another human being. He will gaslight you OR leave. Be prepared for either or. What are you going to do?

BS: 40
WS: 42
Two boys 13/11
Married 15 years
Dday: too Many to remember. 3 significant OW and many "less"'significant OW. Believe WS has bad boundaries and craves the attention.
In R.

Posts: 883 | Registered: May 2011
Member # 40051
Default  Posted: 4:51 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

Nope mine was always exactly where he said he'd be. I just didn't know that involved fucking someone else. That's what is so hard- I kNEW where he was at all times and it still happened

Me-BS 31
Him-FWH 37
PA sex 3-4times over three months during the EA

Posts: 93 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

That is fing crazy how can someone do that I couldnt do that I feel guilty just talking to my ex i could never cheat on someone your suppose to love that person obey their vows but I did the 180 I one was to tired to fight been dealing with my 15 year old my poor baby her medicine didn't mix with her yesterday morning. Then IEP meeting for my youngest son and
trying to get my oldest son to do his
sentences for punishment is abattle
in it self I cooked an awesome dinner
Which I started at 6 and got done at 8 cause I didn't want the chicken under done trying to get my boys to sleep before 12 is a losing battle every time their dad is not home my Daughter she hides in her room so I go hunt her Down but she always gives me a smile and says ok. Sorry ranting he got home at 1 was gone when I woke up 15 mins ago he did apologies he said I love you very much ya da ya da I said yeah I'm trying to prove it to you ya da ya da again yeah oh and he can't get ahold of me cause my phone turned off at 12 haha

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 39584
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, October 6th (Sunday)

Yes. Mine said he had to go to work for 20 minutes, and came home 12 hours later with no explanation. Said he had to start a load of laundry at work and wait until it had finished two hours later. And all sorts of other lies. When he took the A underground, he made sure to get home on time every night. Now, we gave a GPS tracker on his phone :)

WH - 35
2.5 year LTA

Posts: 160 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, October 6th (Sunday)

I tried putting a Gps on his phone he wasn't having that at all. But he just lost his job he has no reason to be anywhere without me :-P he does do side jobs like lawn mowing and snow shoveling but when he was doing it two years ago I never seen it ugh hopefully this time it will be different

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 11