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User Topic: Eating Lunch Alone
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

This week I was at our School District's County off on Mon, Tue, Thur and Friday participating in a committee to elect/adopt our English Department Textbook for the next five years.

On Mon I ate lunch in my car while I ran errands.

Tue, Thur and Friday I ate alone... I didn't invite anyone to lunch and no one invited me.

This didn't bother me one bit... but it really upset FWSO a lot.

My question is... WHY??

So, I'm asking you all... Why do you think it bothered FWSO so much for me to eat alone?


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24546 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

Maybe he sees it as you being excluded, you know, like the kid at school nobody wanted to sit with type thing, instead of understanding that it was your choice to be alone.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12151 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
unfound
Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

Agree with inconnu. Also, some people aren't comfortable eating alone, and can't understand that some people are. He might be transferring his uncomfortableness of eating alone onto you and doesn't want you to be uncomfortable.

??


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14852 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

Maybe... It just confuses me!


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24546 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

I eat lunch alone all the time. Honestly, sometimes I prefer it that way. I'm with my co-workers in an open area all day - sometimes lunch is time for me to deflate a bit alone.

I'm not sure why it would bother him so much - what brings it up in conversation?


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4562 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

FWH hates to eat alone. I love it. I love going to breakfast alone - I love going to the movies alone.

I enjoy friends but sometimes company for the sake of company becomes more obligatory conversation than I can stand.

FWH is really uncomfortable when I want to fly solo, and I think it's because he's projecting how much eating/being alone bothers him. I'm codependent in some ways, but he's SUPER codependent and can't even be in a room by himself for long.

Perhaps your FWSO is projecting his own insecurities.


If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive, you're a hero. - J. Winger

Posts: 17554 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

I'm not sure why it would bother him so much - what brings it up in conversation?

Well, I texted him that I was eating lunch and he asked me if I was eating with people... I said, "no, alone" and he launched into how bad he felt for me.

I questioned him again today... and he confessed that he felt bad for me because of how much he hates to eat alone.

So it was projecting his own insecurities on to my situation.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24546 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

Send him this:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/problems-only-introverts-will-understand


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 866 | Registered: Sep 2012
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

Shared!

Funny... Thanks.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24546 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 9