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Reconciliation
User Topic: Birthday pre-dday vs. birthday post-dday
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

In December it will be 6 years post DDay. Whew!

Pre-DDay, actually right around the time I believe he had his first A, he totally "forgot" my birthday once. I can't even see how he can claim to forget it, because I mentioned it several times THAT day. Still, even after mentioning it several times, he didn't even bother to tell my Happy Birthday, and that hurt so badly! The rest of my pre-dday birthdays were all similar to each other... I would get a card that he would write something that he might write to his sister (nothing mushy or affectionate at all), and maybe dinner or a small gift like a DVD or something. That's it. No biggie, I was happy with it at the time.

Post DDay birthday's are totally different. The first birthday after DDay, I had just started a brand new job a few days before and was in training with lots of people. He made cupcakes (enough for the whole class), picked up some balloons, and brought them to my work. He presented them to me in front of my class and told me to share with everyone. WOW! When I got to my car after work that day, there was a rose and a card on my seat. It was wonderful! The birthdays following that have been slightly less spectacular, but they have always been more thoughtful than pre-dday.

My birthday is next week, and I'm the only one who has any obligations that day. I have to work. The kids are out of school, and it's his day off from work regularly. LAME on me! So, he calls me on Thursday and asks if he can take me away to a cabin for the weekend before my birthday, just us and the kids, and we can explore the mountains and lakes and have fun just as a family. This is SUCH a difference from the man who gave me cards only for my birthday before DDay. And I'm SOOO happy to have him!!!

Interestingly enough, this is actually the man that I thought I was married to all along. I just was too in love to see that he wasn't. Now, I can see clearly since the rose colored glasses are gone, and I can see for a fact that the man I THOUGHT I married, is indeed the man I'm married to today. It's a great day, and it's going to be a great weekend!

Happy reconciliation thoughts and actions to us all this weekend!


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
unfound
Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, October 5th (Saturday)


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14837 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

Excellent. Thanks for sharing the hope!

Posts: 6752 | Registered: Dec 2010
Morhurt
Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, October 5th (Saturday)

I love this. Thank you.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 904 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Landoes
Member
Member # 40222
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

Well, I had a similar situation.
My Wgf sent the OM something for his bday, and I had to text her from work that it was my bday. The more I post the more I realize I should run for the hills.
I'm not celebrating much this year.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Aug 2013
RidingHealingRd
Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, October 5th (Saturday)

Happy Birthday!

Kudos to your H for stepping up and making YOU special. Enjoy your birthday getaway with your family.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2109 | Registered: Nov 2011
Topic Posts: 6