I'm on my phone so I don't really want to write my whole back story. The short version is that D-Day was 2.5 years ago and I have been in limbo since then. I'm finishing my degree so, if I do leave, I'll be able to get more than a minimum wage job to support my daughter.
These past 2.5 years I've had hope. Not much hope, especially recently, but some hope that my H would get his head out of his ass and finally go to MC with me and help me fix our M. It isn't a horrible M, but it isn't great either and I'd prefer to be single and happy than married and unhappy. My hope pretty much disappeared today. The specifics surrounding our conversation aren't really important, so I will just paraphrase.
ME: I'm not happy.
HIM: Why don't you make an appointment with IC?
ME: I was hoping (stupidly, I know) that you would actually do something (meaning make an appointment and actually go).
HIM: I'm not the one that needs it.
After that I was just silent, except for the occasional sobs that escaped. When we got home, after a bunch of errands and time for me to think, I decided to move upstairs. I told him and he asked "why"...because apparently he doesn't listen any time I open my mouth. He didn't seem to care and went in the kitchen to eat. I don't even know why our conversation earlier hurt so much. It's not the worst one we've had. Something just broke in me. I talked to my mother and most of her advice was good, except her telling me that my H and I shouldn't sleep in separate rooms. Now I'm second guessing my decision for, basically, an in-house separation. For a ton of reasons I can't move out, so S/D are off the table for now. Ugh. I'm not really looking for advice so much, just hugs really. Life sucks today.