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New Beginnings
User Topic: You know you are happy to be single when:
wontdefineme
Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

There is a couple arguing in a car at the grocery store and it's not me anymore!

I thank god everyday that I am no longer that woman who is being yelled at or having to put up with some bad tempered a-hole because I am not doing what he wants.

I miss the company, but not the person. I got in my car by myself happy that someone else has to deal with a bad tempered ass and I do not!


Posts: 2172 | Registered: Mar 2011
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

It rocks, doesn't it? I freaking LOVE it!!

My favorite lyric from this song is "There ain't no price on peace of mind." And that pretty much describes my Friday nights back in Georgia!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4ujS1er1r0



Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3692 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

I have felt that same feeling of relief a couple of times when I witnessed a husband belittling/demeaning his wife in public and her just laughing it off but there's a trace of her looking embarrassed and hurt. I know exactly how that feels: it's awful!

Posts: 485 | Registered: Jun 2012
Ann124
Member
Member # 29289
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

When ... You have finally come to recognize the brokenness you were living in. So much so that the broken aspects jump out at you at every turn and you are so capable and strong to not allow it in your life anymore ...

Posts: 386 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Back Home ... And feeling Great!!
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Yes! Absolutely! I also love that I can run errands without some whiny, impatient albatross around my neck, questioning my every decision. I see this in the grocery store all the time. The wife looks at an item, and the husband gives her the third degree: "Why do we need THAT? That's too expensive!" Folks, we're talking about toothpaste here, not Tiffany diamonds! Plus, if you hate grocery shopping so much, then why did you come?

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 8:19 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3596 | Registered: Oct 2011
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

I saw a couple jogging just now, bickering and jogging....

My x used to give me grief for Buying The Wrong Cheese. He was apparently the Only Man on the Planet Who Was Capable of Correctness in Cheese Purchasing.

Seriously, he would take everything back to the store or make me go back.

Can't believe that was my life!

Cheesuz....

No
Thank
Yew


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17385 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Oh boy, do I get this one. Being belittled and told how I could not do anything right was a daily occurrence. No more, I don't have to argue with anybody, don't have to listen to 'crazy' and buy, wear, cook and do what I like when I like it.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
clralb
Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)


BS Divorced.

They were right about you.


Posts: 681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Oh man can I so relate.

Its been over a year for me and I still get giddy when we're getting ready to leave the house and there's nobody walking around in a murderous rage because we are not right on schedule.

Remember my girls were just 4 and 18m on DD - he had been rushing under 4 year olds and a mum with a newborn for most of 4 loooooong years. Idiot. And I was the idiot that was trying to rush them right along with him so as to not make him mad(der). Double idiot.

The girls and I actually honour the momentous occasion of leaving the house by doing a stark raving mad tickle chase around the house at breakneck speed right before we leave (best way ever to get kids to put shoes on fast, just sayin').

Sometimes this results in the need for a toilet break (gasp!)

Sometimes a shoe is lost (OMG... gasp!)

Sometimes we're 5 mins late (OMFG.... gasp!)

At all times none of us gives a flying fuck.

I'm sure that's what Buddha was banging on about when he talked of Nirvana.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 11:16 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Even when I hear a happy couple negotiating a benign moment, compromising with love, I still am glad I'm not having to do even THAT. I honestly do not want to have to consider another person's needs & wants again. Aside from my kids, of course.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9637 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
woundedwidow
Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)

When...I can wear sweats around the house and not catch grief for it.


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 378 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)

When I can drive without someone pointing with their finger that I should change lanes or drive faster. God that was annoying. Peaceful driving now.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5813 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
msk99
Member
Member # 29293
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)

Last night....I was really, really tired after finishing a commercial painting job over the weekend and it felt so nice to make my bed with clean sheets and couple layers of blankets and just starfish in my bed, not having to worry about taking up too much of the bed, lol. It was awesome.


BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced

Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)

When I can drive without someone pointing with their finger that I should change lanes or drive faster. God that was annoying. Peaceful driving now
THIS X1000000!!!

I was driving my Mother to a restaurant the other day. She was telling me how to drive the entire time. I haven't had to deal with that in months. I stayed calm though since she would be going home later and I could laugh at my Dad and say I don't have to deal with that anymore.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1903 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)

I rarely venture to NB (not officially divorced yet) but your post title caught my eye.

You know you are happy to be single when:

~ being a single/only parent is 100x easier than when stbx was in the home. He was the biggest and most difficult man-baby in the house.

~ you don't have to walk on eggshells.

~ you are not the passenger of a crazy, don't use blinkers, don't check before changing lanes, speeding through yellow lights, etc, etc driver.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2186 | Registered: Oct 2012
jackfish
Member
Member # 40257
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

I'm only Sep right now, but single, just not in a dating way.

Anyway:
-I can cook guy food again, steak n mushrooms, chili, venison.
-I can go jogging without asking why I am going jogging
-I can stop by at the pub or a friend's after work for a couple w/o being asked if I'm an alchy now (she always could though)
-I can visit MY side of the family now (she villified them)
-no more smoke smell
-no more being taken for granted in the 100's of little things I did
-no more wife pleasing
-All of the eggshells are now picked out of my feet!!
-Not being told there's no food in the house when the cupboards, fridge, freezers are full!
-No more getting shit cuz we're outta something (she just couldn't go get it herself)
-No more supporting her 100% on projects or life changes only to see her rarely follow through (she DID follow through on her affair though, so good for her on that!).
-No more feeling the wrath when a mistake is made, even small one's
-No more talks of "if I was dead, you and the boys wouldn't care", or "I hate people"
-no more witnessing the hypocrisy, needing to be center of attention in public, her jealousy of other people, her cutting down other good people behind their backs
-no more listening to her tell me how this guy is hot or how that guy tried picking her up (at least she was being open there, I'll give her that).

Wow, writing this shit out makes me wonder just what the HELL was I doing this for all these years...oh yeah, vows, integrity, and kids!


Posts: 88 | Registered: Aug 2013
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

I saw a couple jogging just now, bickering and jogging

OH HELL NOOO! Running is my ME time and I'll be damned is some jackass is gonna ruin that time for me! No way! I'm kinda glad my XWH didn't like to run when we were together...although baffled by it now that he does actually like to do it....kinda like being baffled over seeing a cat wearing sneakers.... just not something you see everyday....

Yeah.....I'm happy to be single every time my best friend vents to me about the stupid little arguments her and her husband have on a daily basis....over the dumbest smallest most meaningless bullshit ever.... and I'm glad its not me.

They got in an argument right before our zombie 5k Saturday and it ruined her whole race and her whole day..... BOO on that!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

-I can stop by at the pub or a friend's after work for a couple

Oh no. Not me.

My daughter (22 yo) keeps better tabs on me and worrries about where I am and when I am coming home way more than any wife ever did.

[This message edited by gahurts at 1:17 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)]


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

You know you are happy to be single when:

~ being a single/only parent is 100x easier than when stbx was in the home. He was the biggest and most difficult man-baby in the house.

This, this, THIS! Not having a man-sized toddler around the house is wonderful!

- I don't have to cook like I'm cooking for a toddler! I don't have to sneak healthy ingredients in so that the man-toddler would try the food first assuming that he doesn't like it. The "man" hates all things nutritious.

I can leave a room without being asked where I'm going and what I'm about to do when I get there!

When I make a budget I don't have to keep a large chunk free to help cover what another person will mindlessly blow.

I don't have to figure out how to word everything in a way that can't be twisted into something totally opposite of what I am saying.

I don't have to listen to the daily stories of why everyone he encountered that day is an idiot and how stupid everyone is (with the exception of himself of course!)


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

Oh, I have to add another one:

I don't have to hear about how hot other women are or how they have "nice racks."

WHY did I put up with that for so long? Ew, I will never be the "cool" wife again!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3596 | Registered: Oct 2011
stungbytravel
Member
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

My x used to give me grief for Buying The Wrong Cheese. He was apparently the Only Man on the Planet Who Was Capable of Correctness in Cheese Purchasing.

This made me laugh. Mine told me I needed to go to cheese school because I bought a new cheese he didn't like. Really? It's just cheese. Cheese school?


Posts: 263 | Registered: Oct 2012
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, October 10th (Thursday)

When I make a budget I don't have to keep a large chunk free to help cover what another person will mindlessly blow.

House, I can relate to every item on your list but this one really stood out. It is the one that I have had so much shame around. Only this week did I finally tell someone about the $ issues. I have spent the whole marriage bailing WH out. So when two weeks ago I found out that he had given money to OW3 it was the final straw.

I thought I was the only person in the world who made a budget with an allowance for WH's cash emergencies.

Our house is falling apart because I have not been able to afford to maintain it. Everything he does in the house is half-finished. I have calculated that it will take me 10 years to catch up on the maintenance.

I'm keeping the house btw because his equity is less than the money I have lent him....


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
wontdefineme
Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, October 10th (Thursday)

On my days off I don't have to cook breakfast for him.
I used to hate that when he got hungry he would take care of himself and not cook for all of us or the time he actually cooked he would leave a huge mess.

Many more reasons, but the stress of his pity parties and his get rich quick schemes, or constantly not being happy about anything. He was never content, not with his job, his life, where we lived, our family, people he knew, nothing. I am very content in any situation and am thankful most times. To live with him was exhausting. After all was said and done, I felt like he sucked my soul dry. Life with an NPD makes single life easy.


Posts: 2172 | Registered: Mar 2011
Weatherly
Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, October 10th (Thursday)

Apparently, I'm happy to be single. This long distance marriage thing is kind nice. I can totally relate to a huge portion of these posts.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4485 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, October 10th (Thursday)

Weatherly - you have the best of both worlds!

I'm so happy to be in control of my own destiny in so many ways, but the best is....

LESS LAUNDRY!


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7638 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
soverybetrayed
Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, October 10th (Thursday)

This thread is so funny because I actually wrote out a list of why I am happy to be single and put it on the fridge.

I no longer have to deal with his drinking.

I no longer have to wonder where he is or when he will be home.

I no longer walk on egg shells worried I will say the wrong this or my tone will be "off".

I can wear my pj's all day if I want.

I don't have to hear the TV on all day even though he left the house. Don't u know he needs it on in case he comes back!

I don't have to have all the neighbors on my house for breakfast (that I don't eat) on Christmas and New Years mornings.

I don't have to watch stupid shows that I hate.

I don't have to lie to my grand baby about why GPA is passed out on the sofa....again.

I do not have to spend my birthday out with the neighbors!

I can have a dog, have short hair, go to bed when I want, and be a vegetarian.

I can live in PEACE!!


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1207 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
ISPIFFD
Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, October 11th (Friday)

I no longer have to deal with his drinking.

I no longer have to wonder where he is or when he will be home.

I can wear my pj's all day if I want.

I can have a dog, have short hair, go to bed when I want, and be a vegetarian.

I can live in PEACE!!

^^^ These, plus

I get to watch TV shows I want to watch without having to suffer through all asshat's nasty sniping comments about them.

I get to put the furniture where I think it goes.

I have the whole bed to myself at night.

Going to bed "early" (as in when I want to vs when he thinks it's time) is not a sin.

and many others that make it a very nice life most of the time.

Occasionally I miss having someone to just talk to, but there were simply too many unpleasant strings attached.


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1828 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, October 11th (Friday)

When you are excited about vegging on a Friday night at home with your daughter and not having to entertain another person!!! I can't wait to get off work so I can go home, throw my PJs on, eat some leftovers with my child and watch mindless dvr'd TV!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, October 11th (Friday)

I'm not single yet. Fuckwit saw a lawyer today and so I will be signing an even bigger check to reward him for his infidelity.

So, this is what my future holds...

1. Never making cabbage rolls again
2. Not combing headlice out of his grandchildren's hair because his daughter can't be bothered to look after them properly
3. Tending my vegetable patch instead of his ego
4. Telling the truth about my life to my family instead of living a lie
5. Not having the television blaring out because he can't hear
6. Not reading labels for him because he can't find his glasses
7. Not listening to his political opinions or any of his opinions
8. Not having to go for STD testing
9. Not having my money go to his women
10. Having savings that aren't continually needed to bail him out
11. Not dealing with his collection calls
12. Living with peace of mind instead of a lying, dishonorable, bald cheat - priceless


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
WhenWillItEnd
Member
Member # 12439
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

Life is good:
I can wake up on a Saturday morning that consist of me, me and more me. Going to take lab down to the park for her playtime, then a long run to prep for race, rejuve the body with a big breakfast and then naptime. Then football, bbq and beer, SEC baby!!! Gig' Em.

I think this is heaven.


Posts: 65 | Registered: Oct 2006
blue8888
New Member
Member # 40896
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

I am not officially single yet (WH doesn't want to R & doesn't "love" me anymore) so I hope it's ok to post as I think it will be healing to remember what I have to look forward to.

-Won't have to listen to endless complaining about everything
-Won't have to listen to him moan about not having enough money to buy whatever new extremely expensive new toy he just has to have right that minute
-No more walking on eggshells
-Won't have to watch him spend/drink those $5 can energy drinks
-Won't have to pick his dirty socks off of my living room floor
-can celebrate Christmas Day when the boys first wake up and not have to wait until 12 or later when he is ready to get up


Me- BW 31, WH- 29
M 11 yrs Together 13
2 kids (special needs)
Last Dday 9/26/13 EA w/ 19 yr old OW, too many prior EAs to list, one he kissed
Divorcing
My value hasn't decreased based on his inability to see my worth.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United States
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

What is it about weirdos and cheese??

Cheese School

Cheesy Nut Man

returning to the store with the wrong cheese

Is there some sort of diagnostic test for cheese dysfunction?

sheesh. Cheese.

I wonder if they can even visit Wisconsin or if their heads would explode?


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
clralb
Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

I no longer have to deal with his drinking.

I no longer have to wonder where he is or when he will be home.

Not listening to his political opinions or any of his opinions

Won't have to listen to endless complaining about everything

Yep. Wow, we sure married some fucking winners. Bleh!



BS Divorced.

They were right about you.


Posts: 681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

Nature Girl, I feel *exactly* the same way about negotiating. No more for me thanks very much!

SBB: Love the tickle chase, that made me giggle.

I'm sure that's what Buddha was banging on about when he talked of Nirvana

^^^^tee hee^^^

Msk: You sleep with starfish??

Stungbytravel: Cheese school!!!! *gasp*

She11y: that Friday night PJ thing? One of my personal faves.

WhenWillItEnd:

I think this is heaven.

I believe you are correct (finishing coffee listening to Dave Brubeck in my kimono after a long luxurious soak). Saturdays are the best. Sundays are awesome too...

Caregiver: cheese dysfunction? call Dr Phil! We are onto something!!

You can't make this shit up...



DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17385 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

Not having to share or compromise.
My own bathroom for the first time ever in my lifetime.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

I want to play again:

- Having replaced all the odd, dark furniture xh would not want to get rid of with light, modern furniture. Seeing xh haul the crappy old furniture off to furnish his rental with OW was just the icing on the cake.

- Allowing myself a cleaning lady every other week because I can.

- PJs all the way, Friday nights, weekends if I want to. Mine are purple with pink dots - they would kill any desire in a guy but they are so wonderfully warm and fuzzy.

- Cooking kale and other 'smelly' veggies all day long.

- Watching chick movies with DDs tonight. Bridget Jones, here we come!

[This message edited by fraeuken at 3:55 PM, October 12th (Saturday)]


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

He was apparently the Only Man on the Planet Who Was Capable of Correctness in Cheese Purchasing.

lol


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

I love being able to drive without being told which way is the best route. Why am I going that way? Why don't I change lanes there? etc. etc. He used to make me such a wreck when I drove with him.

Being able to watch tv shows that I like, instead of him grabbing the remote and flipping on some stupid sport without asking me.

Not being made to feel like I have to kiss his ass and put him on a pedestal for going to a movie I chose, attending something that interested me, etc.

Going out to dinner and not watching him watch t.v. over my shoulder or play with his iphone, probably texting some whore for all I know.

Not feel uncomfortable when my parents come to visit because he would barely ever speak to them or even stay in the same room as them.

What an asshole. Why did I think any of this was normal?


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

I don't have to cook like I'm cooking for a toddler! I don't have to sneak healthy ingredients in so that the man-toddler would try the food first assuming that he doesn't like it. The "man" hates all things nutritious.

This too!! I thought my eh was the only man-child that ate this way. He would eat Captain Crunch and Lucky Charms for Breakfast, and he still does.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

Buying cheese on my way home today. What the heck? And then I will do some cleaning, something I could never do right according to XH. Good riddance.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
myperfectlife
Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

Not single yet, but separated.
-No more supporting (him) 100% on projects or life changes only to see (him) rarely follow through (*he DID follow through on *his affair though, so good for *him on that!).

No more staring at the ceiling trying to sleep through the snoring.
No more disgusting cans of chew spit everywhere.
No more relying on someone else to do something I should and could have just done myself in order to not make them feel like a worthless idiot...
No more coddling, holding in my angry words, encouraging and not nagging because I never wanted to be "that bitch" so he wouldn't cheat on me (didn't really work out for me)
Walking out my apartment door without telling ANYONE where I am going or when I will be back.
Knowing that during his 50/50 custody week that he is seeing EXACTLY how my life was before he cheated, what drove me to be so stressed that he didn't want to come home to me, and that HE set off the atomic bomb in our lives. Not me.


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

-Won't have to listen to endless complaining about everything

Oh God, the moaning. I gave up going out to dinner or a movie because all he would do is complain. WH didn't like anyone, anything, any place. Moan, moan, moan.

I will never have to go through the man-child morning routine again.

Shuffle into kitchen
Groan
Dramatically rotate neck
Sigh deeply
Groan
WH: "I'm so tired. Did you make me a coffee? Did you print out that document? Did you email x client?"
Me: "Yes, I did all that before you got up."
WH: Groan. Martyred grimace. "Let me have ten minutes peace to drink my coffee." WH shuffles off outside for a cigarette while I finish getting DD ready for school.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

No more constant complaining and pessimism.
No more having to stroke his fragile ego constantly even though I had to stop myself constantly from rolling my eyes when doing so because it was so lame after so many years.
No more having to watch how I phrase comments so he doesn't look like a constant idiot.
No more snoring so loud I had to use ear plugs or sleep on the couch.
I can eat all the seafood I want whenever I want (he hates it).
No more eggshells in my feet.
No more hearing, "your sitting in MY chair!"
I can sleep in on the weekends as long as I want without snide comments after working 70-80 hr weeks.
I can decorate my house any way I want and don't have to consult anyone.
I can eat soup or a salad for dinner without the snide remark, "well that was a nice appetizer, but what's for dinner?"
Sandwiches or leftovers are now an option for a meal if I so choose.
I don't have to clean up his piss on the toilet from missing the bowl.
Less laundry and overall less energy consumption.
I can eat when I want and don't have to revolve my eating habits around him even if I am not hungry (he hates eating alone).
And SO many more reasons! The price of his company was so not worth it!

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 12:00 AM, October 13th (Sunday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1086 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, October 14th (Monday)

.. Monday becomes your favorite day because while you start your work week your cleaning 'guy' (yes, not lady..) takes care of your house, a bi-weekly luxury I could have never envisioned while being married with a full-time job and 2 children..

...you can spend the evening in bed with fresh sheets (and made by cleaning guy...), your laptop, catching up on some work while listening to your favorite audiobook series, having a glass of wine and dipping French bread in your favorite pasta sauce.

Did I mention the sweats, reading the Fine Cooking magazine and... the beautiful peace and quiet in my house, just my kitten snuggling next to me?


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 44