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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: He's packing some of his stuff now
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, October 11th (Friday)

I can hear the activity in the basement. He's packing some of his stuff. We're separated, he moved out, and I know we will divorce, in a few months time. He has secured himself in a new relationship and the beginnings of a new family with his whore. She will move in to his place soon. She has already started moving things in and the baby crib has been assembled.

It still tugs a little at my heartstrings.

What would you think or feel if your mutual friends invited your WS and his/her affair partner over for dinner - while you are still married, but separated?


Posts: 186 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, October 11th (Friday)

What would I think? I'd think that I needed to delete them as friends. Utterly delete them. Because that's not friendship to me. So, buh-bye!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9294 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
amitheow
Member
Member # 4691
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, October 11th (Friday)

Bye Bye "friends" is what I would think! Atrocious.


Old Timer, Just here to help
My screen name is: Am I The Ow? - Not Ami the OW.

Because in my situation I didn't know if I was the OW at first or if I was being cheated on. Found I was being cheated on.


Posts: 5081 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Texas
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, October 11th (Friday)

I would feel betrayed but I thought maybe I was expecting too much from friendship.

Posts: 186 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
NewMom0220
Member
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, October 11th (Friday)

Fields,

Do you have a lawyer yet? If not, it sounds like it's time to get to business.

Also, those don't sound like mutual friends. Those are not your friends.

[This message edited by NewMom0220 at 2:32 PM, October 11th (Friday)]


Me: BS 36
Him: WS 37
14 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 329 | Registered: Apr 2013
Faithful w/Love
Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, October 11th (Friday)

Delete them from your life. they must not give a shit about your feelings. How horrible. You don't need friends like that anyways.
Don't worry your wh and his jeezeble with go down one day. And you will be happy!


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2657 | Registered: Aug 2011
heartache101
Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, October 11th (Friday)

They are not your friends if they invite him and AP.


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3185 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, October 11th (Friday)

I would not continue to associate with any so called friends who would do that. I know people claim they don't want to take sides, but welcoming the AP with open arms is taking a side.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49447 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, October 11th (Friday)

((((Lavender)))) I'm so sorry your "friends" have chosen that path, but as much as it hurts, they've done you a favor by showing you they are not truly friends of yours.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24435 | Registered: Aug 2011
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, October 11th (Friday)

I know you are hurt and feel betrayed by not only your spouse, but also your friends. I am so sorry they have did this to you. They are not truely your friends if they allow this and just like the spouse, you are better off without them. (((HUGS)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, October 11th (Friday)

They would no longer be my friends.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4689 | Registered: Feb 2008
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, October 11th (Friday)

No more. I'm sorry, FOL. This is coming for me, too, if it hasn't happened without my knowledge already.

People do the shi..... things to each other and I'll never understand why. I hear the words, I read them, I study them, but to understand how people can hurt others so, and knowingly, I do not understand.

I've hemmed and hawed about this too and it's terrible to cut people out of life, but what kind of relationship is it when they are doing stuff of this caliber behind your back?


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, October 11th (Friday)

After my STBX was packing, he was looking for his winter coats. I put those in a trash bag but didn't donate those. I didn't give it to him. I was about to and went upstairs to get the trash bag but he kept yapping with his vitriol.

Because I gave away his clothes, he said, "I don't trust you anymore." Gee, you don't trust me after something as minor as donating your clothes? Do you think I trust you after you repeatedly lie to me, fuck another woman, and start a relationship with her?


Posts: 186 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
Saadnblu
Member
Member # 40361
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, October 11th (Friday)

First, I would take the friends off my list of friends. I'm also learning who are my friends, and who are not. They frankly don't deserve to be your friend, and you don't need friends like that.

Second, what a statement! He doesn't trust you anymore? Wow! That deserves to be framed to remind you of why you really really are better off without him.

Personally, I think he's lucky you didn't just take his stuff to the curb!

Hugs!!


Me: 58, SAHM
Him: 58, LTA 2.5 years
Married 9 years, together 15
Dday: June 11 2013
DD 9 years
Separated

Posts: 57 | Registered: Aug 2013
FieldsOfLavender
Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, October 11th (Friday)

Personally, I think he's lucky you didn't just take his stuff to the curb!

I donated most of his winter clothes about 7 weeks ago when he told me he knocked up his whore and was going to start a new life. There were some items that I had bought him that I couldn't get myself to give away.


Posts: 186 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, October 11th (Friday)

What would I think? I'd think that I needed to delete them as friends. Utterly delete them. Because that's not friendship to me. So, buh-bye!

^^THIS. I won't have anyone in my life who supports his choices. Not for a second.

I haven't lost any friendships but he has for this very reason. I didn't need to ask them - they didn't do it because they are loyal to me, they did it because he is a douchebag THEY don't want in their lives.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5420 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
LifeIsBroken
Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, October 11th (Friday)

"Friends" who would condone the affair by inviting ws and the skank to dinner? Not friends, #1. And showing you who they are (#2). Don't need 'em, wouldn't want 'em. My xh learned who his friends weren't because they didn't like the kind of person he is. You'll feel so much better once his crap is out of the house, FOL. Sad about what could have been but glad because you're going forward without the weight of that man dragging you into HIS abyss.


Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 433 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 17