User Topic: Dreams and Intuition
Member # 30794
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

I am separated from WH for about 6 month now. Not sure if I should post this in D/S. It's sort of a general topic/ musing...

When we were together, long before Dday and during the time he was deep in his A, I used to dream very vividly. My dreams were often of him cheating.. actually so vivid and detailed, I would wake from them, and thank God that I would see him peacefully snoring next to me.

I had these intuitive dreams for many years, and fully ignored them. But now, I see how insatiable my intuition really it pulls and pokes at me all the time, but especially in my dreams.

Last night I dreamed that I was reading divorce papers, only they weren't mine. They were papers of my friend and his wife. The details were so clear. I woke this morning and wrote down some of the dream. Part of me wants to call him, tell him to keep his eyes open. Perhaps I am picking up on an energy. This friend has been in my thoughts often lately. As far as I know, there are no martial problems.

I find it simply incredible how our intuitions work on us.

I only wish I had pursued my endless, countless dreams of my WH cheating. When it finally happened...I realized I knew all along.

Any dream stories that turned out to be true?

Do you believe in the psychic, meta- physical energy we can all tap into if we are paying attention??

[This message edited by blindsidedbyhim at 11:52 AM, October 12th (Saturday)]

ME 44
DS-10 and DD-11
DDay 9/19/10
Separated 6/1/13
Married 10 yrs, together 18

"Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be."
Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was

Posts: 219 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: east coast
Member # 40219
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

I had dreams about WH and other woman before DDay. They were completly true. Sometimes I do think our dreams can clue us in. However, one should be very cautious before sharing it when it concerns someone else.

BS (34)
WS MisterP (37)
Together 14 1/2 years
D Day 03 Aug 13 EA & PA
D Day #2 01 Sep 13 continued EA & PA with OW
Slowly but surely finding my way.

Posts: 172 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Colorado Springs
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

That is actually how I found out about WH's affair. We were talking on the phone while he was driving (to her city), and I told him I had a dream he was with another woman in bed. He said, "Was she pretty?"
Then that is when I asked him, are you seeing someone else.
He said "kinda"
I asked if they had slept together. He said "a couple of times".
That was D-day for me...on the damn phone.

Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

I've had intuitive, prophetic dreams, including about STBX cheating. One even showed me what she looked like and that she was involved with drugs.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9821 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 38017
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

I didn't have dreams, but my body knew at the soul level. I started having bizarre symptoms right at the start of his betrayal -- burning mouth syndrome, burning palms, shocking sensations in my legs and feet, tingling sensations in my spine. The neurologist couldn't find anything wrong after extensive testing. Funny, the symptoms have lessened a lot since the truth came out (well, after the trauma of d-day and 6 months of panic attacks, gagging, and weight loss).

Posts: 117 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New England
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, October 13th (Sunday)

I used to comfort eat. Ate myself to 280 lbs. Gave that up with a lot of effort after my youngest was born. Inexplicably (at the time) I started comfort eating in January this year. Around the time the PA with slut started
No dreams but on some level I knew :(

Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."

Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, October 13th (Sunday)

I was getting stomach pains, hives and joint pains. Went to the doctor and they thought it might be an autoimmune problem.

All of that has gone away now that the truth is out.

It has taken me awhile to accept that my body was trying to tell me something. I thought it was too scifi or new agey. But I can't really deny it anymore. It's been 6 mos.

BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

In the first year of marriage and @ six months pregnant - I kept dreaming that I accused him of cheating and he walked with OW, looking at me like I was a joke. They were really disturbing, but he claimed he was having the same kind of dreams. So I figured it was a newlywed thing.

Flash forward 28 years. He is completely detached from the M, the family. I start praying nightly for an answer, never suspecting he was cheating.... The answer came in the form of a dream - wherein he admitted he was cheating.

I confronted on that alone. I was so certain he admitted it - on that alone...

Yeah, I'm a believer.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4129 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, October 14th (Monday)

My H has worked out of town for years. I would have intuitions at times. The last time was bothering me so badly, I talked to my son, and prayed very hard and constant about it. I asked my H about it. Then, I met her, and saw her try to kiss H , shortly after that. I do have good intuitions. I have dreams. I also believe I was feeling the gut feelings from his behavior. Its all together. It was very strong. It was right on.

a trigger yesterday

Posts: 944 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
Member # 26912
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, October 14th (Monday)

My dream was not A related...

I dreamed that my mother had died all of the sudden from breast cancer and we had no idea that she had it. I was so disturbed by this dream that I asked her to go to dinner the following week. I did not tell her about the dream, but asked when she had her last mamogram... it was so long ago she couldnt remember, and she is 68. I got really stern with her and told her to get one NOW... she agreed and had no idea why I was so adimate. A month later at the Thangsviving dinner table I asked her if she had gone and she started tearing up and told me that she just found out that she has breast cancer.... it was then that I told her about the dream. Luckily she caught it early and they were able to remove the lump and she is fine today. I thank god for the dream and that I was so bothered by it that I jumped on her...

DIVORCED! Remarried to a real man!
BW (me) - 41 (now 46)
WH (him) - 43 (now 48)
OW - 23 yr old foreign gold digging whore looking for her American meal ticket
1 14 yr old son (now 19)
married 20 years/together 25 years
D day - 9/23/2009 5pm

Posts: 802 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Mid Atlantic coast
Member # 40564
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I had both dreams and physical symptoms. I got shingles a few months before dday, and Im a healthy 32 year old. At the time, no one, including me, could believe I had shingles. In the days before dday, I dreamed twice about being in a crashing plane. The symbolism still makes me sad, because within a week he had moved out and was with her. As for recurring dreams even earlier, I had something different than many of you describe. I didnt dream about him with other women, I actually dreamed over and over again about myself in a new relationship. They were very low-key dreams, but always left me wondering why? I still wonder about those, and what they meant. Were they putting myself in his shoes? Or were they portents about my own future (hopefully I do hope one day to have someone again. Not for a while).

Posts: 117 | Registered: Sep 2013
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I do strongly believe in intuition.
Back when the ex was in his A, I felt this sense of foreboding. I knew something was wrong. I read the divorce column in the Huffington Post and I didnt' knwo why I was reading it. After I found out, I realized my intuition knew all along, I just had not let myself really know.

Even now, I'm struggling with a few things and I keep having repeating dream themes. I've looked them up and sure as shit, they represent the very issues I'm mulling about.

I am trying to be more in tune with this stuff.

me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."

Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Member # 40437
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I didn't know for sure that he had slept with his cousin at the time but we had agreed that they should not speak to each other and she wasn't welcome in our lives. I had two dreams he was talking to her behind my back and he was. I had visions when I was pregnant for the first time in my life (I miscarried) that he would take my baby and share it with her. I saw myself in the background while they smiled and oohed and aahed over it. He just admitted to me that he had thoughts of sharing our baby with her.

I even had a random dream a few years into the relationship that he had fooled around with his ex boss who he hadn't worked for for years. Woke him up and asked if he had and he was shocked. Came out of nowhere.

I have dreams all the time and they are always right but for some reason I didn't want to believe them this time. I will never doubt them again.

Posts: 110 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I knew something was off and that he was distant but never dreamed he was cheating. I had a dream one night after I fell asleep on the couch that was so vivid I think I screamed in my sleep. I dreamt that mice were running all over my living room and I could actually see, feel amd hear them.

It was so weird that I looked up the interpretation that morning. It said that seeing mice is a sign of domestic problems.

That same morning, exWH told me he had a very vivid dream that he was walking in deep mud. I looked that up too and the meaning of that is a feeling of being stuck in life.

I knew in my soul that we were in big trouble with that combination of dreams.

On the flip side, I have been feeling kind of down lately and upset by being completely tossed aside. It's close to the anniversary of d day and my father also passed during this time of year so it's a hard time for me. I was half asleep the other day in that sort of dreamy state and I was sad even then. At that point, my dad came to me to remind me of why exWH ignores me and barely acknowledges that I'm alive even when it comes to kid related things. He reminded me that when I accused exWH a couple years ago of never talking to me about the kids and barely grunting at me while we try to parent because if he talks to me for an extended period of time, he will remember the real me and he doesn't want to do that. Probably the only time exWH told the truth was when he said, "you're right. I do that.". It made me feel better in the moment.

BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2839 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 39077
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I started having massive unexplained uterine bleeding issues and anxiety attacks before the first DD. Had all the tests; they couldn't find anything physically wrong with me. The symptoms got better for a few months after finding out (False R), but then started to amp back up, culminating in an exploratory surgery to see if they could figure out some cause the many blood tests and ultrasounds couldn't see.

In the recovery room, my heart wouldn't stop racing (major anxiety attack due to WH being completely disconnected during the process) as I was coming out of the anesthesia.

Once they figured out why my heart was racing, I remember listening to the doctor caution WH about my stress level, that it was going to cut years off my life.

I found out three days later about the second set of affairs that had started the same time I had taken a turn for the worse.

I started to joke that my uterus was a natural Stress Litmus Test. I think we know things on levels that take awhile to emerge consciously. Call it instinct or intuition or prophecy; we take in an enormous amount of information, lots that we don't operate consciously concerning.

But that doesn't mean we don't know it on some level.

Posts: 292 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 31833
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I have posted a topic on this I had a dream he slept with someone with brown hair about 1 or 2 years before it happened, i think intuition is very true.

ME:BW42 HIM:WS40 MARRIED19years 2Teens DdayFeb2009.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Australia
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I had the kind of dreams you described but quashed them and my gut for far too long. Oh well can't go back in time.

I believe that dreams come to us from our angels in the otherworld. I do not believe in "god" per se but I believe there is an energy in the universe and people we love who have died are watching out for us and trying to send us messages and that is a way that they messages arrive.

In order to receive the messages you have to be open to that kind of stuff. I guess my door was stuck?

P.S. About a month after DD, I remember my friend/neighbor who is a psychiatrist and I were walking our dogs and she was telling me she keeps having dreams about someone having an affair. I thought that was odd that she could sense what is going on with my H without realizing who it was exactly.

[This message edited by womaninflux at 11:01 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]

BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 910 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 21239
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

For at least the two yrs stbxwh was with the stripper ho, I kept having dreams I was in a foreign country ( didn't speak the language) and couldn't find him anywhere, always in a panic! I had no idea what the dreams were about....

Now my dreams are about where in the heck I'm going to live. At least I understand these dreams.

Divorced 10/2013

Posts: 548 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: West Coast
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

On 2 occasions - while home alone - I felt a sudden 'urge' to check my husband's computer.

The first time I found disgusting porn.

The second time I found the picture of him and the prostitute.

Of course, I believe when you see one mouse, there are many more that you can't see.

But I thought it was quite amazing that I got these feelings (it seemed at the time) out of nowhere.

I was curious...are there people out there who have these dreams or intuitions and they do not come true???

(If this is a t/j, please disregard.)

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

With Ex-Wh I used to have the dreams too. And they were vivid and they revealed who the OW was, I knew her.

This time around, all these years later with current WH, I didn't dream, but I had my gut screaming at me. And after d-day as I was getting 1/2 truths and ommissions and flat out lies, I knew too. My therapist is amazed at my "sixth sense" in all this.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

The sad clowns DD A happened during a fortnight in London for a professional development course.

A few weird things happened during that fortnight.

* I kept falling asleep on the couch. I didn't sleep in the bed the entire time.
* A neighbourhood cat started breaking in and stealing food/knocking things off the kitchen bench. I was crying with frustration about having to disinfect the damn benches every single day.
* I kept dreaming of a very large yellow snake in my front garden. I was showing people out of my home and pointing at it "mind the snake - yes, he is very very poisonous but you're safe as long as you give him a wide berth".

Everyone was terrified of this snake. I wasn't afraid at all.

I *knew* just as I knew this wasn't the first time. I told my sister what I suspected the night before he came home. She was shocked and told me I was crazy. 1 day later he proved her wrong.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

For years I had a recurring dream that I would find a hidden room in my house. I would accidentally happen upon it. Sometimes it was furnished at sometimes it was empty.

It made me feel uneasy because it meant that I needed to clean it , paint it and use it. It also bothered me because it seemed like such a waste that it had been hidden and unused for such a long time.

I used to have this dream about once a month. I had always thought that it meant I was stressed that my house was not in good order.

After dday I never had that dream again. In fact I haven't had a really vivid dream since.

Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 783 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 40410
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

I very much believe in dreams relaying information to us.

In the years that WH and I dated prior to being engaged, I dreamt twice that I saw his bff and his bff's wife in the mall after not seeing them for a while, and I was engaged or married to someone that was not my WH and they asked to see my engagement ring that I absolutely loved (which was nothing like the ring I ended up picking out w WH).

Each time I felt happy, and then woke up and thought, but wait, then I wouldn't be with WH any longer. That also didn't make sense bc we saw his bff at that point at least once every week, so why would there be a long span that I wouldn't see him. Hmm.

I also have dreamt 3x that people close to me have been talking to someone who was quite close to me and already deceased, and each time, I found out later that the other person in each of the dreams passed away within the half hour that I dreamed they were talking to the already deceased person.

Not to mention the 15 lb weight loss before I found out, I was so stressed with him never being around. I lost even more immediately after I found out.

Posts: 103 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

I am glad I am not alone.

I thought perhaps I was crazy.

I dreamed of OW and laughed it off and dismissed it thinking "H doesn't like blondes".

I dreamed her exactly as she is except I never saw here and didn't have a clue he was wandering except in my dreams.

Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

I did the same thing. I guess it is our subconcious telling us what we really know but don't want to admit. :(

BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

I have posted about this topic before and yes I have prophetic dreams to this day. I had a dream just before DD that xWH was cheating. I woke up and told him about it and that my fear was that I wouldn't walk away, that I would try to save our marriage. He said it would never happen. I gave myself away with telling him my dream and my fears.
I still have dreams about him to this day.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

I don't remember having any prophetic dreams about the A, but my FWH had a doozie of a dream on D-Day night:

Two little girls were playing on a railroad track. A train was coming very fast; one little girl leaped to the side and rolled away from the track, but the other one did not move in time and was run over by the train. This dream haunted him for days, it was so vivid--and he usually doesn't dream (or, rather, remember his dreams).

Me: BW, age 66
Him: WH, age 64
Married 19 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA

Posts: 407 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
Member # 40112
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

I firmly believe that dreams and intuitions are important indicators of problems. It's not mystical, it's the bubbling up to the surface of the thousand little inconsistencies that we notice subconsciously but cannot otherwise link together. My gut has never, ever been wrong. Trusting it has been my problem.

Posts: 54 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)

From a W perspective, I agree. After I had my second son and was post partum, I would have dreams that I was having an affair. It was always with one particular person I had written out of my life years and years before. He was a wayward type, I ignored tons of red flags when I was with him because of other aspects that drew me to him. I would wake up at the time perplexed, here I was with a fabulous husband and a life I had wanted and created, why the dreams?

18 months later I had an affair with the exact type of guy I had been drawn to earlier in life. The type of guy I swore I had moved beyond. I still wish I had really thought about what those early dreams were trying to tell me.

My current life coach (sort of like a therapist beyond therapy) says that often after infidelity or divorce from that type of person she asks the person 'when did you FIRST see signs or have that gut feeling about him/her?' She relayed that unequivacobly the answer is NEVER 'oh, just a few weeks before I knew'. Most often people ignore signs because of other positive qualities or benefits.

That being said, I have seen stories on here of people who really had no idea so not everyone has that same 'intuition'. What I have learned the hard way is that our intuition is never wrong. Ever.

Me: WW
Him: BH

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you."
John Green

Posts: 882 | Registered: Nov 2010
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)

Yes I've had several. On DDay,
We were about 100 miles away from home. We got home and he made plans to meet his gym buddies to celebrate that he won a competition.

I felt a little sad he was going alone but I fully trusted him. I fell asleep and didnt even realize he was not home yet.

THE DREAM: it was all just pitch black and something hit my stomach like a kick. I sat straight up in bed and was shaking. Then my mind kept telling me go to where he said he was NOW. I called the place and all I got was the voicemail, it was closed!!!
It was 1 am. The voice in my ind kept repeating "go now!" I grabbed my purse and didnt even bother to change my pjs! I get there and the parking lot is empty, it was all pitch black. But I drove in and saw his car and another car next to his. There he was standing like 8 ft away from her talking.

I had several others, he left once saying he couldn't take the fighting anymore. That night I got the same stomach pain and I could see him and her having sex for hours. I saw other stuff that happened too I was crying in my dream. I woke up in real tears. I later found out it was all true.

I threw him out and he moved in with her. After about 6 weeks. I had another dream/vision??
As I opened my eyes around 6:30 am, I felt as if I was him at the moment and I was looking through his eyes. I could even see his long lashes as I blinked my eyes. I felt this huge sadness and misery and the thought " not another day like this God" I took my daughter to the bus stop and it was raining. I looked up and the rain is hitting my face and I felt like I was him standing in the rain looking up and he thought of wtf he was doing. There was a little bit of sunshine through the clouds ...

I could not help myself and I sent him a text around 7:15 am. I told him exactly what I felt and what I thought. He was getting in his car and was with a buddy of his. He said he froze and was trembling and showed his friend my text. His friend gasped in total shock. My H had just told his friend exactly what I said. He said he woke up that morning and just didnt want to get up and face his new life and what head doing. He said he walked to his car in the rain and didnt care he was getting soaked and he paused for a moment and looked up at the clouds and saw a bit of sunshine and thought of me.

Way more things happened like this that would freak anyone out. At one point he was super paranoid because he thought I could read his mind! Lol

Married 24

2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R

Posts: 639 | Registered: Jun 2011
Topic Posts: 30