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User Topic: t/j texts you'd like to send
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, October 14th (Monday)

ok, something is wonky here. I'm the only one who posted a text to my wayward.
no desire to text OW.

do those of you who posted to the AP feel like you have something they don't have? won the spouse or something? I'm not being facetious, just trying to figure something out here...
the fact that he chose me and not them means nothing to me... and maybe it should.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5344 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, October 14th (Monday)

My "text" to the AP was because I have never directly spoken to it since d-day and never got to tell it myself to fuck off.

Yes, I have a lot of what AP doesn't have. However, I didn't win my spouse, he won me.

the fact that he chose me and not them means nothing to me... and maybe it should
You are right, rachel. It doesn't mean anything because there shouldn't have even been a "choice" in the first place.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9852 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
cuppacoffee
Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, October 14th (Monday)

Honestly it's because I can talk shit all day to the husband.

He knows he sucks.

She on the other hand- I have not seen her since she came to my house to meet me last December. Like a month after she slept with my husband.

He has not talked to her since D Day.

I can take my anger out on him all of the time.

That's probably bad.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, October 14th (Monday)

cuppa - ha!

Yes, the first day after DDays I made life excrutiating for the AP's. That was one day. He got a little more than that.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5344 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
cuppacoffee
Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, October 14th (Monday)

I have to admit when he says something stupid I come back with something that zings him.

He'll say something dumb in just a general dumb ass way about being a sexy man and all the ladies liking him- totally not in regards to an A but more like a man thing for him- and I'll come back with something.
He talks a lot of game but he's so not. He's kind of goofy but I love him.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, October 14th (Monday)

I didn't post a response to either OW or WH.

But I would imagine that posting to OW is a more natural response because those of us who still have WSs in the home are actually able to speak with them, and therefore don't have the need to write 'unsent texts' to them.

My husband GOT all the thoughts I had, as I had them. OW did not.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8888 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, October 14th (Monday)

But I would imagine that posting to OW is a more natural response because those of us who still have WSs in the home are actually able to speak with them, and therefore don't have the need to write 'unsent texts' to them.

This. _^^^^^^^^^ I don't need to text ws, I see him every day.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5172 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
cantgetup
Member
Member # 36146
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Honestly...I would be embarrassed to ever say a word to OW about something my H did. It would make me look foolish and It would humiliate me. What would she care? It's pointing the gun at the wrong person. I think with he exception of double betrayal situations, telling the AP how you feel about what they did with your S---cringe worthy for me. And for people who feel comfort in the S picking you over AP and telling AP that--I just picture them laughing on the other end of the phone. I couldn't put myself through that. I don't think for a minute OW is jealous of me. She knows more than anyone that not my H didn't think very much of me. To try to paint that as anything else would make me look foolish -- and i have already has my fill of that.

Posts: 319 | Registered: Jul 2012
RightTrack
Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I texted OW a photo of the bottle of viagra WH got so he could get it up with her.

Posts: 631 | Registered: Sep 2012
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, October 14th (Monday)

She knows more than anyone that not my H didn't think very much of me

This!! this is why I can't stand to see them and why I can't even imagine contact with them...


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5344 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Marathonwaseasy
Member
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 3:37 AM, October 15th (Tuesday)

Text/letter to AP I would love to send
Fwh gets every thought I have

Dear N. I find it hard to believe anyone is as stupid as you. The special connection you had with my husband was him in the grips of psychosis. Your great love affair was the product of a diseased mind. You were a convenient receptacle he wanked into while he tried to run away from himself. But the fear of losing me was greater than the fear of facing his broken soul. You wasted nearly 2 years of your life and your fading attractions which weren't that great to start with on an emotional and physical affair with a man who was never going to be yours. I bet you feel great now knowing this. How's the self esteem while you wait for the call that's never coming? If you weren't such a skank whore who tried to destroy my children's and my life I'd almost feel sorry for you. I wish you death or better still a life of pain and loneliness. And hey - you got that in spades. Karma is a bitch
Signed R


Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
cantgetup
Member
Member # 36146
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

My view (which is also a struggle) is that not only do I have zero need to text OW (and just don't understand those who do IRL or virtual) I won't degrade myself by doing so. Fact of the matter is OW, more than anyone on the planet knows I'm married to a cheater. There is nothing envious about that . And she knows it. That is why I don't understand why some BS feel it would make them feel better to tell off the AP and say 'look he picked me over you and I am lucky and you are a loser'. No, not at all. I am not lucky and she knows it. Humiliating. That's me, my situation.

Posts: 319 | Registered: Jul 2012
Marathonwaseasy
Member
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

Of course you're right.
I received a barrage of insulting deranged texts from ow post dday. I'd love to respond in kind. I rehearse it over and over. I won't do it though
Yes I'm humiliated too
And I'm left with the broken man


Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
cantgetup
Member
Member # 36146
Default  Posted: 6:08 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

I couldn't imagine being contacted or worse yet harassed by OW. Yea, in that situation I think I would have to be in contact.

Posts: 319 | Registered: Jul 2012
Sadwife222
Member
Member # 40050
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

My WH's OW said I was married to "the world's biggest liar."

Of course, she's right. No pride in being chosen by a man like that.


Me BW, Him WH
DD 4/12/13
TT until 9/18/14

Posts: 137 | Registered: Jul 2013
ascian
Member
Member # 40304
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

The only direct communication I've had with the OM since D-Day was to tell him not to do anything stupid.

The OM had been a friend of ours for years, and as pissed as I was post discovery, I didn't want to do anything that would hurt his wife or kids. That wouldn't be fair to them, they weren't the ones who chose to tear apart two marriages and several friendships.

So while I considered e-mailing the guy's CO and reporting the affair (which could mess up his retirement benefits, should they choose to go with a less-than-honorable discharge), or to e-mail his wife all of the information I'd gathered without preamble, or to make public FB posts, or whatever. I chose not to, since that would just hurt friends and kids.

His wife e-mailed me for details, once he'd talked to her, and said he was "in a dark place," so I sent him an e-mail saying that he'd messed up and hurt a lot of people, but not to compound that hurt with a greater one.


Me - BH 39
Her - FWW 36
D-Day: 8/13
Working on R

Posts: 312 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 16