User Topic: Adultery should be illegal
Member # 33057
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, October 14th (Monday)

This is probably a really stupid idea, but I think adultery should be illegal. Isn't marriage a legal contract to which most people make vows to each other in front of many other people? I have Judge Judy on right now and she is explaining the importance of honoring a contract and if you choose to break it, there are consequences.

Perhaps legal penalties would help to deter some people from entering into an affair. The AP could also be charged with aiding and abetting, much like the driver of the getaway car in a bank robbery would be.

I don't seems to me that if people can get in so much trouble for breaking a lease, there should be even more severe consequences for breaking up a family.

Oh, the crazy thoughts that come into my head nowadays.

Me - BS
Him - WH
Married 30 Years
D-Day #1 August 17, 2010
D-Day #2 October 19, 2010
D-Day #3 February 12, 2011

Posts: 299 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 18158
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, October 14th (Monday)

I know it's a misdemeanor in some states, but you can't really get a lawyer to take the case, it's not worth it to them.
I think in my state it's a $1000 fine, I'm sure it costs more than that to pay the lawyer fees!

Me BW-39
H WH-41
Married for 10 years
Two boys 6yrs, 3yrs
D-Day 12/1/07
Got whole painful truth 2/2/08
5/15/2008 EA with co-worker, I left
6/1/08 - We are committing to R
"One falsehood destroys a thousand truths"

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Georgia
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, October 14th (Monday)

It would also open a can of worms. What would be considered breaking of the marital contract? Not all vows are the same, and not all people view fidelity in the same light.

Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, October 14th (Monday)

It's a felony where I live, and I don't think it makes a hill of beans difference in anything really. In fact, it makes things harder in some respects legally.

What is not fair is no-fault laws regarding divorce. THAT would make a huge difference, I think. And that anyone proven an adulterer is not eligible for alimony, or those that are proven an adulterer pay extra alimony. Bazinga! THAT would make a difference.

BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1484 | Registered: Jun 2011
New Member
Member # 39388
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, October 14th (Monday)

I totally understand this and even as a mad hatter, agree that there should be some type of legal punishment. My husband cheated with an attorney that he met online. I posted a couple things on her Pinterest and she was quick to threaten with legal action. When I got fed up with his lies and made a nice cheaterville post on her (now the first thing that pops up if you google her name hehe), she had a threatening letter sent to my home. By BIL is a very experienced attorney and he laughed at her attempt to threaten me. I added to my original post on cheaterville and clarified what was my opinion and what I could prove as fact with photos and email to protect myself (which made her look even worse and increased her votes on the site).

The thing is, adultery is so damaging to so many people yet as a society, we joke and giggle like its no big deal (unless of course you've lived it).

I can say this. I was raped as a teenager and even that pain was nothing like what his affair has done to me. I'm seeing my psychiatrist again tomorrow and am doing better as I enter the 2nd year of this but nothing has ever caused me so much pain in my life. Meanwhile the OW goes on with her life like nothing happened, my husband wants things to go back to "normal", and I fight for my own sanity daily.

me-BS,FWS madhatter (36)
him-BS, FWS (39)
2 children 17 and 13
Married 13 years
Ow-(36)Stranger that he met on POF
D-day 10/03/2012
status: in recovery, NC with OW since shortly after DDay

Posts: 36 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, October 14th (Monday)

I agree with Hathnofury!
Just, is your mow mine too?
Hopefully there is a very special place in Hell......

[This message edited by fourever at 11:57 AM, October 14th (Monday)]

In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!

Posts: 877 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, October 14th (Monday)

In my state if you can prove adultery you don't have to pay alimony. I saved a friend of mine thousands when I got her hooked up with my PI asap and he got pictures. Her H had always lived off of her and now he can live off his OW (who has nothing btw).

Also you can sue for alienation of affection.

Dday -9/24/2012

Posts: 1748 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, October 14th (Monday)

In my state you can sue the AP for civil damages. There are some big verdicts out there for that.

30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1205 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 32693
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I am glad that I am in a no fault state which made the divorce process easier. Even though I had evidence, I would have hated to have to prove to the court that there was infidelity. I just wanted to be out of the marriage without dragging oit the process.

But, I think that there should be legal consequences to infidelity. My state does not support alienation of affection. I believe that the cheating spouse should not be eligible for any ( or maybe just a minimal amount) of alimony. It sucks that I was betrayed AND I have to pay her (even though it won't last forever). She broke the marriage contract so, she should not be entitled to anything once the contract has ended.

Her-Unremorseful, Wayward ex wife
Me-No longer a betrayed husband

Happily remarried.

"You are what you do. A man is defined by his actions, not his memory." - Kuato in Total Recall

Posts: 598 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: between Oz and Wonderland
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I find it curious that if one person loves 2 other people (maybe all 3 even love one another), and all 3 are happy in that arrangement, they cannot have that arrangement legally recognized by marriage. To do so is illegal.

However, if two people are in a legal binding marriage, and one of those persons invites another person into that marriage, unbeknownst to the other party in the marriage, causing much harm, THAT is legal?!

BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014


Posts: 2309 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, October 14th (Monday)

What pisses me off is that my mom cheated on my dad for TEN years while eating cake. Then when he couldn't take it any longer he divorced her. Years later she was going to go for half his pension (she never married the MOM just continued to "effe" him for another 20 years.). I told her if she did that she wouldn't have a daughter and I would never lift a finger to help her emotionally, physically or financially. She smartened up and my dad and his current wife have his entire pension. Thank God.

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 2:35 PM, October 14th (Monday)]

Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Member # 32991
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, October 14th (Monday)

It is still illegal in Utah by statute. It is a class B misdemeanor. However, the statute has never been prosecuted.

Posts: 137 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Utah
Member # 32991
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, October 14th (Monday)

In Utah also, it is a factor that a court can consider to reduce or eliminate alimony.

Posts: 137 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Utah
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, October 14th (Monday)

It IS illegal in NC. One of the few bright spots along with Alienation of Affection.

What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel

Posts: 1746 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I read somewhere , I think on Kevin Jackson's site ,that up until the 1970's in new mexico you can legally kill your wife and affair partner if you cat them in the act? Don't know how true this is? also I do not condone, but it must be pretty serious in that state if that extreme was allowed? I agree it should be illegal and the proven ceater should lose all alimony and marital rights. Since most of the people who make these laws are the bigst adulterers , I do not think this will ever happen! instead it is glorified! crazy world we live in with fucked up morals!

"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 676 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, October 14th (Monday)

When I looked it up for my state (Oklahoma) its considered a felony for both partied who committed the act but very rarely prosecuted anymore

Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Maybe y'all who are living in states where it can be prosecuted as a felony or whatever should push for it. After all, if it's the law, it's the law, right ? Maybe if cheaters were really taken to task for what they've done to their BS's and families, it would slow it down somewhat. My lawyer didn't tell me I had that option so I don't know if it had been an option. In retrospect, I should have asked and gone for it if it was. Somehow, somewhere, this madness has to stop. Real consequences in a court of law. I think it's interesting that you have to go through court to get a divorce but yet your M certificate isn't considered a legal document ? Makes no sense.

BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 504 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, October 14th (Monday)

It is illegal in the military. That is probably why my H kept his dirty secret until he was out. I would had themn both courtmartialed and asked for no mercy. They didn't show me any. If the M was sanctified by a church it is also illegal.

I agree there should be a heafty penalty for adultry. Maybe the scarlett letter should come back??


Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2010
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I have thought about trying to pursue the OW for the law she violated but then they would charge my H as well and that's just not something I want to happen.

The BS should most definitely be able to sue the OW/M for damages and medical costs after the A is out in the open. Than again I guess that would just cancel it all out bc then the OW/Ms BS could just do the same.

Point is that infidelity is disgusting and harmful to all those who become involved in the evil web is weaves

Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I don't know that I could sit through a legal proceeding where I would have to hear, then rehear everything those two assclowns did with each other. I say GTFO and let me get on with my life... IMHO

Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Adultery is a Class A misdemeanor in the state of Illinois. According to Section 5-4.5-55 of the Illinois Unified Code of Corrections (730 ILCS 5/5-4.5-55), a Class A Misdemeanor is punishable by a fine not exceeding $2,500 for each offense. Furthermore, the fine may be imposed in addition to a sentence of conditional discharge, probation, periodic imprisonment or imprisonment not exceeding one year.

In my fantasies I file a Police Report after the Divorce is final. But in reality, I have no tangible proof, only what WBXH and OW told me, and they can change their tunes since they are known liars.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1855 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 21