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User Topic: Opinions please
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, October 14th (Monday)

So the last month or so I've been getting more and more depressed. I have been somewhat distant and not myself with SO. Depression is not uncommon for me at this time of year (SO knows this).

My cutting the last few weeks has increased to every 5-7 days. I was only cutting every 4-6 weeks. I'm starting to want to isolate more and more. I've started having suicidal thoughts too. Not to act on anything but more along the lines of I wouldn't care if I died tomorrow. This is all "normal" for me at this time of year and typically gets worse as the winter rolls on (lots of trigger dates and no work distraction).

I've talked to SO and told her that I've been depressed and that's why I'm not myself but it is still causing some issues with us. I haven't told her the full extent of my depression because I don't want to burden her as she has a lot on her plate right now. So she doesn't know that the cutting has increased or just how depressed I actually am.

I don't want to be lying to her but I also don't want to add to her stress level. I feel like she's right on the edge herself and I don't want my issues to be the thing that sends her into a tailspin.

How do I deal with this? I want to be honest with her but don't want to stress her out. She knows that I've attempted suicide before and have had some close calls with the cutting so telling her about it will make her very nervous and stressed.

Sometimes I wonder if I should even be dating. She doesn't deserve this kind of stress.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, October 14th (Monday)

How long have you been dating this SO? Are you Separated or Divorced? (it looks like Separated.... are you in the process of D?) It sounds like you should probably be spending some time for yourself in IC and working on yourself than being in a relationship so that you can get to a healthy place in your life where no matter what time of year it is, that you are "for the most part" okay... ya know? D day for me was November 15th, 2009... and Christmas that year was awful....and then my D was final the following December 13th! BUT..... I still love this time of year... and it doesn't affect me in that way anymore. I ran my 1st marathon on what would have been my 6th wedding anniversary! You need to "re-claim" this time of year for YOU and turn it into a positive thing! Make new memories and stomp out the old ones! You can do it... I'm not sure if you SHOULD do it in a relationship.... but if you are bound and determined to do so.... the best policy is honesty... and if your SO loves you, she will appreciate it and she will be understanding, sensitive, and receptive to your needs and feelings during this difficult time for you. That's what a loving and communicative relationship is like.... or so I've heard!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 11:58 AM, October 14th (Monday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, October 14th (Monday)

How long have you been dating this SO?

We have known each other for almost 2 years now and started dating this last February. Just to say she knew about all my issues before we started to date.

Are you Separated or Divorced?

S since December 2010. Working on D.

I've been going to IC for 6 months now.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I should have said all that in my original post.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Not trying to be nosy....but why is the D taking so long? You don't have any kids right? My XWH fought me and I had to get a lawyer and everything but my divorce was final pretty quick...between filing and end date....8 or 9 months...but in my state without kids...its 6 months ...if you have kids its a year... That sucks that you are still going through a D all this time later! I'm so sorry!

I know that a lot of people here (including me because I made the mistake of doing it) believe that you shouldn't date until you are D and have had time to heal from everything. I rebound dated...and ended up preggo from that relationship... and now am a single mom. He's not in my daughter's life AT ALL. I started dating her sperm donor just 2 weeks post-D and had a player use me and poof on me while separated. Just try to tread lightly.....you are still very vulnerable... I've been in IC now almost 2 years.....and I can't say I'm 100% healed....but I'm well on my way! It just takes time!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 1:17 PM, October 14th (Monday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, October 14th (Monday)

D has taken so long partially because I was too stubborn to file. I have a L at this point and all the paperwork has been filled out. I have a verbal agreement with WW on how to separate things but all of her stuff is at my house. So once I file, I have 2 months to get it all out.

I have no one to help me move it all and some of it is heavy. I am working a lot of hours and simply don't have the time to move it all out myself. And I DO NOT want her or any of her "friends" to come here to move it out.

I'm a landscaper and I will not be working soon so I will have the time to move her stuff in the winter.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, October 14th (Monday)

((myname))

Don't allow yourself to be isolated. Sometimes, I have to force myself to be around other humans - it helps. On the weekends, I'll go to a movie or go into the city to a museum.

Anything to uplift the spirit and bring some small joy into my life.

I know that your work slows down at this time of year, and you need to fill your time. It appears to me that you're filling your time with activities that aren't good for you.

I keep telling myself that life is so short - I can spend my time here living, or I can spend it hating myself.

While I feel that you need to be honest with your SO, I can see that you don't want to burden her with your issues.I can't really help you there - I think you need to work on YOU, and the relationship stuff will follow.

Heading into the holiday season sucks. I get that.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, October 14th (Monday)

ETA:

Pay someone to move her shit into storage. I understand that you don't want her or her "friends" at your house, but seriously - Fuck that.

You've been more than kind about being the storage facility. Sever that tie. Be done with her.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I understand about not wanting to burden your SO, but isn't that kinda withholding information? Who knows...maybe by telling her you will release some of the tension and actually feel better. She may be blaming herself for you pulling away.

I think posting on SI is a good way to get it out too. Journaling. Can you volunteer at a local botanical gardens for the winter? Just to get out of the house and around people and things you like to do.

Isolating is never good. I am an introvert and have to sometimes force myself to get out among people and friends. I can be a little too happy just watching a movie alone since going out takes effort for me.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, October 14th (Monday)

What if you went and stayed with SO (or in her town at least) until spring when you go back to work?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, October 14th (Monday)

What if you went and stayed with SO (or in her town at least) until spring when you go back to work?

I've actually thought of doing that but it would mean having to stay in a hotel which would be really expensive. I can't stay at her place. She has kids and part of her D says that there are no "sleep overs" before M.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Have you looked into monthly rentals?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Pay someone to move her shit into storage. I understand that you don't want her or her "friends" at your house, but seriously - Fuck that.

You've been more than kind about being the storage facility. Sever that tie. Be done with her.

^^^^THIS! Yeah.....get her shit out! She should have to pay for storage....its hard for you to move on with her crap lingering in your home. Plus, I really think you need closure and this would be a good first step in that direction from your M.

I had to move in with my dad for a year after my D and put my things in a storage unit and pay for it.... you do what you have to do. Its a D....not a festival! You have no reason to do her any favors going forward!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 2:23 PM, October 14th (Monday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Have you looked into monthly rentals?

No. I hadn't really thought of it. I might look into it though. If for nothing else to get a feel for how our relationship would be if I was actually living close by and not so far away. I really do nothing all winter so I could spend a month near her.

I know I need to get her stuff out of my house. It is taking up an entire room. I actually have someone that works for me that I could pay to help me move the stuff out. My only issue is that he isn't very strong and I think may have a problem lifting some of the stuff. I just hate paying to move her stuff.

SO even offered to help. She thought it would be funny for her to mark the boxes b/c the writing would clearly be a "girls writing" and not mine.

I know I got to get the D final. I just feel like I'm balancing so many things sometimes.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I just hate paying to move her stuff.

Garbage. Removal. Fee.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I think it sounds like abandoned property that you could sell in a garage sale


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3124 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Myname, my bigger concern than telling your SO (which, to be clear, I do also think you should do) is have you told your IC? These are highly concerning behaviors that s/he needs to know about. Its great that you have insight into the fact that its happening, now its time to get into the ways in which this behavior is functioning for you and why you are triggering at this time of year.

Along that lines, I would also be upping your Vitamin D dosage, and making sure you are maintaining your exercise, and checking into a lightbox if you don't have one. This time of year there could be a physiological reason for part of your decline. Get that reversed and the more psychological part will be easier to manage. You may also want to consider AntiDs if you aren't already on them, or upping your dose if you are. Again, you need to support the physiological. Be sure you are taking care of yourself -- sleep, eating well. And not letting yourself isolate is part of that too!

You may also want to look at alternative sources of work for the winter to keep your self-confidence up and give you a reason to function day to day. Going where there are people you want to see and things you enjoy is a good step too, maybe you can combine those things. I wonder how much of your depression at this time is simply out of boredom and loss of a sense of competence from not working. (and its probably not ever just one of these things, so you need to address them all, unfortunately).

I hope you can get back to the progress you were making soon, myname. We believe in you!


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Ps any more pumpkins in the works this year?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, October 14th (Monday)

peacelovetea,

IC does know about the recent increased frequency in the cutting and depression. I have a very difficult trigger day coming up and instead of my normal every 2 week appointment I will be meeting with IC 2 weeks in a row with the trigger day in the middle.

I'm a landscaper and get a lot of exercise and sunlight. I eat very healthy and will be taking vitamin D over the winter as well as working out 2-3 hours a day when my work slows up.

The winter is hard b/c that is when the A all went down. I'm not on AD's.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, October 14th (Monday)

PS any more pumpkins in the works this year?

I actually did a pumpkin for my brothers company. They had seen the Spider-man pumpkin and wanted one with the company name. It was their name, slogan and logo. I can't really post it here for obvious reasons but it came out really good. I think it took 14 hours or something.

The CEO of the company hired me to powerwash his driveway so we will see if I end up getting anymore work out of it. Just to say, this CEO's house was well over a million $$$. It was pretty cool to be working there.

I do have another pumpkin that I want to do but work has been so busy I don't really have the time to do it. I'm really going to try and do it though.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, October 14th (Monday)

How are you doing? Praying for you.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

If you haven't already, I hope that you talk with your SO about this.

I can't wait to see your other pumpkin. The spider-man one is awesome!


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4209 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I did end up talking to SO about it last night and again today. I think things are "back on track" so to speak.

I'm really upset at myself though for being so distant the last month. I feel like I failed SO. This kind of thing just drives me deeper into depression for screwing up. I'm a perfectionist and I take failure hard. There are no excuses for failure. I've been seething at myself all day.

I know SO pretty well and the last thing she needed right now is for me to be so distant.

ETA: For all my "Pumpkin People" I might be doing one tomorrow or possibly over the weekend. I need the distraction.

[This message edited by Myname at 7:20 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I'm glad the two of you have found a way to meet back up with each other emotionally.

Don't spend your time beating yourself up over distancing yourself. Use that energy to share your feelings with her now that you're back on track. It will draw you both closer and make this season a million times more bearable.

(((Myname & SO)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Cabrona
Member
Member # 9596
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

I understand getting depressed when you do not have enough work to keep your mind occupied. Its easy to slip into negative behaviors.

So I have a suggestion! Since you are so good with pumpkins have you considered wood carving? Can you look into whether there are any artisans in your area that give classes? I think if you find something you can get excited about on a daily basis you will feel less stress and pressure and the compulsion to self harm will grab hold less often and with much less intensity.

I googled wood carving California and it looks like you should have no problem finding resources!


"The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you... you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." —Bob Marley

Posts: 562 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Caribbean
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)

My only issue is that he isn't very strong and I think may have a problem lifting some of the stuff.

Good grief - what sort of stuff does she have that is more then two men could lift? Seriously, I am a height-challenged female who had spinal fusion and me and my mom moved my entire house (including couches, stove, fridge, etc).

I just hate paying to move her stuff.

It is a small price for the 'freeing' results

SO's for a month: Also check out if someone in the area is renting out rooms in their house. My dad use to do that when he worked in different areas.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2181 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)

Cabrona,
I've tried wood carving and soap carving and I stink at both of them. I am not artistic in any way except for the pumpkin carving thing. I can't even draw stick figures.

I don't know if I will spend a month near SO this winter. Probably not. New environments make me VERY anxious. When I first moved into the place I live at now it took almost 2 years for me to spend any time in a room other than my bedroom. It was a year before I even had a couch. So the thought of living in a new place for a month kind of freaks me out.

Last winter I worked out 2-3 hours a day which helped. I started this past landscaping season in the best shape of my life. I'm the kind of person that needs to stay physically active. My plan is to start some serious workouts after Halloween and do that all winter.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)

Sometimes I wonder if I should even be dating. She doesn't deserve this kind of stress.

Tell her ... Let her decide if it is to much stress. Don't decide for her. Then work on it together. Use your therapist and your group. You need all the support you can get.

We know this is normal for you, we have walked with you through this a couple times before. Remember this is at your pace. Distract yourself as much as possible and seek help from those who offer it to you. They care or they would not offer.


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 2:23 AM, October 17th (Thursday)

I'm really upset at myself though for being so distant the last month. I feel like I failed SO. This kind of thing just drives me deeper into depression for screwing up. I'm a perfectionist and I take failure hard. There are no excuses for failure. I've been seething at myself all day.
This is a dangerous mindset. Perfectionism is harmful and self-obsessive. Have you explored why you have a tendency towards perfectionism? What is wrong with failure? Do you think that makes you "lesser than?"

Because we all fail at things. I certainly have and I am awesome. Why are you not allowed to fail? There is not one human, ever, that walked this earth and was perfect and never failed. In fact, it takes much more courage to try things and fail and get back up on your feet than to be perfect and succeed in everything you do. How can you learn anything if you are perfect and never fail?

I would say be easier on yourself but you won't unless you reason things through and start to accept that trying and failing is preferable to never trying at all and never truly living life. Think about these concepts for a while. You seem to have good cognitive abilities. You need to figure out why you won't allow yourself to be human and have a few faults here or there. By the way...people don't really like "perfect" people. They are intimidating and don't generally have any real friends. I've found this out because I used to be a perfectionist also (so I know some of the reasons we feel we need to be perfect...but you need to figure out for yourself). Since I've allowed myself to have faults and have gotten comfortable with them, changed my mindset a bit, and actually have learned to joke about my faults....I have so many more true friends and I've found that people tend to like me better. That is because they can relate to me now, since I have acknowledged that I'm not perfect.

These are things to think about, and I think some of this stuff may be partly what is driving your depression (besides the possibility of low-serotonin which needs to be diagnosed by a physician/psychologist).

p.s. One of my favorite quotes by Thomas Edison about developing the light bulb: "I have not failed. I've just found 10000 ways that won't work."


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15291 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 5:13 AM, October 17th (Thursday)

IC is very much aware of my perfectionism.

IC says that the perfectionism comes from my upbringing, which I agree with. Even now, in my family if there is a problem it always gets blamed on me. I am the family escape goat. This is also plays into the self hatred and depression.

By the way...people don't really like "perfect" people. They are intimidating and don't generally have any real friends.

I don't have any friends. The people in my life are just there to get something out of me. What can I do for them kind of people. Mostly clients that pay me very well for being perfect.

My parents are the same way as far as just wanting something out of me and not liking me. They are very angry at me for dating SO because if it continues to M I would have to move far away because she has kids and can't move because of visitations. If I move I can't do all their chores for them.

I don't have a relationship with my parents other than doing whatever chores are needed. It's the only time I get an email from my Dad and the only reason I go to their house. But that's all for another post another day.

Just to say, I like my perfectionism. It has it's advantages. I don't care that people don't like me. When the people around you only care about what you can do for them being perfect is a good thing. I am able to accomplish anything I set my mind to because I don't cut myself any slack and I don't give myself any excuses. Failure is not an option for me.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

Making decisions like this on behalf of your SO (what she can handle knowing, whether she deserves someone "better" than you, etc.) is a big symptom of codependence. Have you read Codependent No More? I recommend it, as it changed the way I approach relationships (romantic and otherwise).


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

Just to say, I like my perfectionism. It has it's advantages. I don't care that people don't like me. When the people around you only care about what you can do for them being perfect is a good thing
Okay. That is fine if you are happy. Are you happy?


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15291 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

I've never had a lot of friends in life. Even when I was a kid. I'm a loner and I'm content with that. It doesn't really bother me.

As far as being happy I assume you mean am I happy with people not liking me or having friends. It doesn't bother me and I prefer to be by myself.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Topic Posts: 32