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Reconciliation
User Topic: How do you get passed the anger phase?
suposd2btheonly1
Member
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I see my doctor Thursday, I'm going to talk to him about some ADs as well as sleeping and anxiety meds. I'm not sure how well that's going to go considering I'm still breastfeeding a 7mo. I'm going to have him refer me to an IC to better manage.

How do I get passed the anger? Some days I think I'm in acceptance and ready to move forward then the others (more often than not) I'm so angry. Angry at him for betraying me beyond belief. Angry at the OW for being so aggressive and not having enough self respect to keep her hands to her own fiance. Angry that in an instant my life went from good to terrible all bc of his CHOICE to step out on our marriage and kids as well.

I'm angry that I allow myself to go to such sad places and then ruin my whole day. I'm angry that all of a sudden NOW hes making strides so I can once again be a SAHM but now I don't want to rely on him financially and all I want to be is a SAHM. I was able to stay home with my older three and I want so badly to be home 24/7 with my youngest, I feel hes being deprived of me, and I'm angry that his efforts to allow me to do that are "too little too late".

I'm so angry at EVERYTHING almost all the time. I think I want this to work then I don't feel hes helping me much so then I get angry. When I feel sadness I get angry. Everything seems to come back full circle to his infidelity, EVERYTHING, and its making me sick to be so damn angry all the time.

How do I get passed this???


Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
breakingpoint
Member
Member # 40963
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Writing it all down helps me. Get it OUT.

Posts: 115 | Registered: Oct 2013
PrincessPeach06
Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Writing does help. I told H everything when I was angry - in a calm, sometimes tearful way and that helped. If I felt I couldn't say it face to face I would write in "notes" on my phone and text it to him. I got a lot out that way.

It has been coming in waves for me lately. Now I'm ok, last week was hell. It will most likely be back. :/


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
suposd2btheonly1
Member
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I also just want to scream and cry but im always at work or with the kids so its not like i can


Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
PrincessPeach06
Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I think the best thing you can do is just to get it out in whatever way works best for you. Because that's what you need to do with the anger - release it! Writing, telling someone, crying (when you can, even on the bathroom floor like I did), punching something, venting on the "general" forum - anything. Does that mean it won't come back? Of course not! But it will make you feel better - maybe for only hours now but soon days and then weeks! Hang in there!!!!


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
jjsr
Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, October 14th (Monday)

Your dday is so recently there is a lot more anger to come. With all of this it is a process that, I hate to say it, takes time. You need to take care of yourself and if you and he are Ring, you have to do the work.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
suposd2btheonly1
Member
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, October 14th (Monday)

We are trying to R, its so new and I'm not sure how to deal with this. I sometimes feel that he wants me to just dismiss it so it makes it easier on him and I REFUSE to do so.

Hes got his first actual appt with a psychologist this Friday, he went last week to do the questionnaires and paperwork. I'm going to get a referral to an IC this Thursday. We both want to go to MC but I want to wait for him to go to his own IC and me as well so we have more understanding of ourselves to bring to the MC table.

Thank you all for the replies

[This message edited by suposd2btheonly1 at 10:34 PM, October 14th (Monday)]


Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Topic Posts: 7