Today I am feeling like I am the main character in a fecking tearjerker movie - the kind of movie where you use up a box of tissues because it's so sad because so much shit happens to her and mean people do bad things to her and it all makes you cry for her because it's so sad and you feel sorry for her and wonder why in God's name are people so fucking mean and heartless to other people!!!!
I don't want my life to be a fucking tearjerker movie and I won't let it be, but right now, at this moment, I can't help but think that what happened to all of us was just so mean and heartless and we can all be the main character in a tearjerker movie.
Yes, we can control how we let it effect us, I know that so no reminding me right now, because there are moments, weak moments maybe, when the thoughts of what happened to me sneaks into my awareness and I realize how damn sad it is that someone who loved me so much, at least at one time, could have done something so mean and heartless to me. I cry, then I make myself move on, but for that moment I feel like I'm in that fecking movie.
Just needed to vent - had a bad dream last night where ex and ow showed up and reminded me about all that had happened. Hopefully I'll move into a "happy feeling" movie character mode soon. I am just sad right now for all of us. Spent half my life with an Ahole
D final!!! 11-11
"Obladi oblada life goes on...."