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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Life Lesson for DD
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

DD16 and I were talking last night and she was telling me how disgusted she was with all her teen peers (girls) that she feels are too stupid to get through life without assistance (her words, not mine). I told her one of my goals with all of my kids has been to nurture and develop well-adjusted, grounded, independent and capable future adults. She then went on with an eye-roll story about her friend that had no idea what a flat-head screwdriver was. I told her that was really sad and I was glad she (DD16) was becoming a very independent young lady. I told her that independence would serve her very well as an adult and I didn't want her to ever feel "dependent" on another human being and, heaven forbid, if she ever found herself in my current situation with her father that she would not collapse into a ball and cry and wonder how she will ever go on without someone else to take care of her. She smiled and said for me not to worry as that will never happen as I taught her well...

Made my heart proud. She also said she remembers how often her father would say to me, "you're the strongest person I have ever known" yet he is acting surprised that I am quite capable of standing on my own two feet and don't need him. DD said she intends to have that same strength.

That is one of the best life lessons she could learn from this mess. She knows it does not mean I don't have emotions and am not hurt from what POS has done (she has seen me cry when I didn't think she was looking), but she is learning to hold her head high with dignity in the face of horrific adversity. I am so proud of her!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1036 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Snapdragon
Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

You are a wonderful parent and raising a strong and independent daughter! I can't tell you how wonderful that is (tho suspect you know ).

I see many young people today that have NO IDEA how to do anything for themselves. They don't know how to cook, clean, do simple sewing repairs, change a tire, plunge a toilet, etc.

Then there is the whole issue with dealing with adversity. Having a strong role model in you is amazing. I learned some strong life lessons from my mother and how she dealt with my father's betrayals. It served me well later in life.

Go YOU! Go DD!


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3077 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

My mother stressed to my sister and I that we need to be self sufficient and not depend on a man to get us through life.

As I travel this journey alone as a divorced person, I am infinitely grateful to my mother.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7574 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Gemini71
Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

I've always said that my job as a parent is to make myself obsolete. The one thing that bugs me the most about this whole crappy situation is the fallout for the kids. Your post has reminded me to 'Make Lemonade from the Lemons.'

My DD is 16 too. There is no better feeling than looking at the young lady my child is becoming, and realizing that I really like the person she is becoming. I'm sure you know that feeling as well.

ET correct my typos.

[This message edited by Gemini71 at 11:37 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1659 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)

That is awesome. I was also raised by a single mom who is/was fiercely independent. She taught my sister and I well. I was devastated by my husband leaving, but knew immediately that I'd be okay. It's been wonderful having her support and advice through this whole process.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 879 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 5