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User Topic: An update on my son
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

Today was the day I'd been waiting two months for. The day my 2 yr old saw the pediatric cardiologist to have an echo done to determine the nature of his murmur. We arrived 15 minutes early, checked in and watched the fish in the fish tank as we waited. They called us back, weighed him, measured his height and checked his vitals. Then, the dr came in. He sat down and asked who the referring physician was and why we had been referred. Then, he looked up at me and said 'and WHY did your dr feel it was necessary for your son to see a specialist?' I tried to explain how the cardiopulmonary department at our hospital had trouble getting the pictures they needed. He stopped me, mid-sentence and said 'no, WHY did he order an echo for a murmur in the first place? 40% of all children have a murmur and almost all of them are harmless. An innocent murmur has a distinct sound.' He then listened to my son's heart, turned to me and said 'definitely innocent. I'm not doing an echo. If we did an echo for every murmur, we'd do one for 40% of all children. I'll send your dr a letter.' Then he walked out. No one handed me paperwork or showed me back to the desk for check out. An appointment is waited two months for, that was supposed to ease my mind, just left me feeling irritated and completely disregarded.
And yes, I know that he is a specialist and he has heard thousands of murmurs and very likely does know the difference just by sound, but he didn't have to be such a jerk. It was evident to me that he considered our appointment a complete waste of his time.

Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, October 17th (Thursday)


I'm sorry the Dr was such an ass...

But I hope he's right an your son is ok.

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24597 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

Grrrrr! I hate it when doctors act like that. I would leave feedback on the doctor review websites.

Doctors should treat their customers with respect just like every other service profession should. Besides that I have seen very scary medical errors occur because a doctor thinks it's not "worth their time" to listen to a patient or parent. That's how stuff gets missed.

FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

I edit often because I make a lot of typos. ☺️

Posts: 1499 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

OMG! What an asshole! I really hate asshole Dr's. I have run across a few in my lifetime.

Make sure you tell the referring Dr what a complete jerk this guy was. Perhaps they will then find a better Dr to refer patients.

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17689 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

I had an asshole ER doctor take a saw blade chip out of my eye once. Fortunately, he lookedd like Garth and rather than being really upset, I laughed the whole way home picturing him in his lab coat driving home in the Mirthmobile.

Anyway, it wasn't nearly as potentially serious as a heart murmur in a child. I know doctors see patients all day and that they've gone to school for ages and know a lot of things but it would serve them well to remember that while it may be commonplace to them, it is a big deal to each and every individual person they see.

[This message edited by h0peless at 10:34 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

Besides that I have seen very scary medical errors occur because a doctor thinks it's not "worth their time" to listen to a patient or parent. That's how stuff gets missed.

This is what I thought. For me it means, second opinion.

How dare he treat your worry and fear with such distain.

If he doesn't own the practice I would be writing a letter to the folks that do.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3846 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Grace and Flowers
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, October 17th (Thursday)

Having special needs kids...well, we've run into a few asshole doctors ourselves. I'm so sorry you had this experience.

FWIW, one of my sons also had a heart murmur...up to about age 5. Then it just...went away. It apparently can be a common thing in kids, and like your doctor said, I guess they could tell it wasn't serious by the sound of it.

Doesn't make it less scary for us, though.

I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1176 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:34 AM, October 18th (Friday)

I would tell your refering doc, everyone you saw prior to getting to this appointment. THEN I would notify the hospital he was affiliated with as well as any sites that rate doctors.

Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine... dismissing someone's fears like that is just wrong. The fear is real and to be treated so callously, stinks. And others should be warned that they are dealing with a doc with a God Comples.



PS.. I've been praying for you and your son.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5284 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 3:15 AM, October 18th (Friday)

my sons cardiologist basically did the same thing.

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2217 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, October 18th (Friday)

F'ing Asshole. Was he the real cardiologist, or was he a fellow? At teaching facilities you can always demand to see the next guy up the chain, and they HAVE to allow it.

If not, then I would send a strongly worded letter to whatever entity he works for, explaining that for 2 months you worried about this, and then he treated you with complete disregard. IN addition, I would DEMAND the ECHO be done, OR find another Pediatric Cardio. See if you get the same information.

HE is correct that almost half of all kids have some sort of murmur, and yes they ususally are benign, and a well practiced clinician can distinctly hear a difference in SOME. HOWEVER....This does not excuse his horrible behavior.

I'm sure you were so taken aback by his ill behavior that you didn't even know what to say.

Lastly pay attention to what gets billed to your insurance. If he bills you for a high level of visit, or that ultrasound, obviously you need to fight it.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, I also want to say at least it was goood news.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8718 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, October 18th (Friday)

'no, WHY did he order an echo for a murmur in the first place? 40% of all children have a murmur and almost all of them are harmless. An innocent murmur has a distinct sound.'

WTF does he think, that you just happen to know this statistic out of your ass??

I know that you were stunned to silence, but I would be calling and emailing as many places I could to let them know just what YOU had to go through.

First, you have no idea if there is anything wrong with your child.

Then, the 2 month wait with worry and possible fear for your child.

Then you get an asshole with a God Complex basically calling not only you an idiot but your referring physician and the cardiopulmonary department at the hospital as well.

What a pompass ass!

And you know this is not the first time he's made someone feel like a stupid idiot. UGgg...

Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, October 18th (Friday)

I'm so glad to know I wasn't just over reacting to this. I've known my family physician on a personal and professional level for years. I'll definitely talk to him about this when I have my next visit to his office (with three kids those happen frequently). I thought about asking to see someone else, but our town doesn't have an actual pediatric cardiologist. This one came from a pediatric cardiology group in the nearest big city. They visit once a month. Idk where the next closest one is. Probably at least 8 hours from here. I will certainly be checking - and checking my bill (may have to rely on the email statement from my insurance). My son is active and otherwise healthy, so I'm sure he is right, but still.

Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jan 2013
Exit Wounds
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, October 18th (Friday)

Two words

Second Opinion!

Prayers sent

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, October 18th (Friday)

Jack ass.

Yes, most child hood murmurs are innocent but sometimes the pediatrician or family doctor isn't sure and sends the kid to the expert.

I'm sure the murmur was innocent. A pediatric cardiologist would know. He should have carefully explained everything to you and allayed your fears.

I'd tell your PCP about his behavior; he will start losing referrals that's for damn sure.

I would not send my patient to a specialist that treated my patients that way.

Dr. PJ4

Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2245 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

I would absolutely notify the hospital with a well written letter and cc the head of card while you are at it. Throwing stats at you and stopping you mid sentence.

What the hell is that?!

Please get a second opinion.

((MLM)) ((your boy))

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2462 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Exit Wounds
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Just checking back on you and your son. (((((mm & son)))))

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Topic Posts: 16