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Reconciliation
User Topic: What was great for you this week?
ILINIA
Member
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, October 18th (Friday)

Since turning a corner after Retrouvaille, I am feeling more hopeful about me, our marriage, and the future. Granted, we still have had some rough nights, but in general, I am bouncing back quicker and able to move on to something healthier. I am slowly getting back to being me.

Therefore, let's get some positive vibes going...

What happened this week that was great, gave you hope, or made you smile? It can be related to job, kids, relationships, home or anything.


Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 448 | Registered: Jul 2013
bionicgal
Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, October 18th (Friday)

We had our 18th anniversary. And, all things considered, I am feeling very hopeful. We are learning to be better for each other, and better to each other. Our lows are low right now, but we are also having some amazing times together.


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1879 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
cantaccept
Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, October 18th (Friday)

H and I spent a day in New York. It felt like the early days. Simple and easy (mostly).

We walked, laughed, held hands, talked about nothing important.

The best, he smiled at me, never got impatient. It felt like in the beginning when I had no doubt about his love for me. When it was just a fact of life.


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced 8/5/14


Posts: 1310 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
ILINIA
Member
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, October 18th (Friday)

bionicgal - That is wonderful! We celebrate our 10th in November, so if you have any tips, let me know. It will the first since you know what.

cantaccept - How beautiful wit the leaves changing! I love NY!

I have to add this one: We had two great parent/teacher conferences! DD is the easy child and LOVES school. DS is the opposite and struggles academically, socially, and is somewhat immature for his age. He was matched with a teacher he knew from before and he is kicking butt! We weren't expecting such a wonderful review!

[This message edited by ILINIA at 4:25 PM, October 18th (Friday)]


Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 448 | Registered: Jul 2013
TheAmazingWondertwin
Member
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, October 18th (Friday)

What a great positive post!
For me, we had some doozies of conversations over the weekend and through the week- and it relieved some of the pressure and the feeling of craziness..
I am more focused at work, led some great meetings and made some really good professional connections.
The kids are doing great- DD is worried about some friends and she reached out to us for hugs and support- at 13 I was impressed.
Taking the family to an amusement park tomorrow and fWH and I have agreed its time to just have some fun.
So yes- good things this week.
Thank you for posting :)

[This message edited by Wondertwin at 4:45 PM, October 18th (Friday)]


Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, October 18th (Friday)

Ilinia, this post is something I would have done and did early on in R. Put up a positive post that is. Thank you!

Honestly, we had great sex this week w lots of hugs + kisses everyday. We had lunch yesterday to talk about family issues and many laughs w the kids at a family fun farm/apple orchard

Bring on the weekend!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, October 18th (Friday)

He wrote me a great love letter! We have a fun weekend planned!


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4768 | Registered: Dec 2010
topperoff22
Member
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, October 18th (Friday)

We found out we're expecting another baby.


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
OldCow18
Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, October 18th (Friday)

Congrats topper

I keep coming back to this post empty handed. I swear I'm going to think of something.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, October 18th (Friday)

My H has been really sick this week and was just diagnosed with pneumonia. The great part? He SO appreciates how I have been taking care of him and keeps saying how guilty he feels about all the giving I'm doing and he can't wait to pay me back.

So different from the past!

And DD is coming home this weekend!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1728 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
roarlouder
Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, October 18th (Friday)

After a rocky day yesterday, I feel he's starting to get it- how I feel, what I need, what he needs to do. He was patient and open when I had questions today. We got through it and were able to move on, because of his demeanour and open answers.
Thankful for efforts and baby steps. I know not every day will be this way, so going to soak it in!


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, October 18th (Friday)

My wife got fired for bullshit reasons. While the loss of income sucks it was just awesome to have the whole week at home with her since I work from home. I wish we could be teenagers again.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7431 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
watchtheskyy
Member
Member # 34197
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, October 18th (Friday)

So much! WH works in another state but he was home last week so that was a great start I had a difficult procedure done and he took excellent care of me! We had super fantastic sex before the surgery and then got ...creative...since he was leaving within the week. I blush even typing that but I felt like we really bonded. He listened to me and actually talked about the A without getting angry. We had a date night and I've lost some weight so he took me shopping. We stayed up late watching horror movies all week. I felt like I was spending the week with my best friend, and that's a huge trigger word for me so it's kind of a big deal. This week was the first time I've EVER cried when he had to leave I miss him.

[This message edited by watchtheskyy at 11:18 PM, October 18th (Friday)]


The first step to living the life you want is leaving the life you don't want.

Posts: 198 | Registered: Dec 2011
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:51 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

It was a hard week overall (not relationship-wise, just stressful) but the good news is that my H's back surgery was successful & his awful leg pain is now gone!


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 5:08 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

Great thread idea!!

Sunday, we took DD13 to Comicon in NYC. It was a tradition started last year during 1st A season. It was great people watching and talking about peoples costumes.

The best part about it was the look on Broevil and DD13's faces when people stopped DD13 to take a picture of her costume. Broevil and DD13 spent weeks working together sowing, glueing, and molding making it. The pride and the esteem was radiating.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2560 | Registered: Aug 2012
TrulySad
Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

What an awesome thread topic! Thank you !!!

I realized last night that for the last two weeks I haven't thought once of him using his phone for anything damaging. He wanted to put the parental blocks on it for my peace of mind... and so far, it's working.

My friends finally got to go back to work (govn employees), and there's some relief that we will survive this financially.

I got to surprise my son at school with McDonalds. His text to me after made me smile all day!

I could keep writing...


Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.


Posts: 444 | Registered: Jun 2013
eachdayisvictory
Member
Member # 40462
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

After a lot of sadness about the confusion and loss of our music to the A, the Avett brothers and Kings of Leon came out with a new album.

Last night my H played the Kings of Leon song 'the greatest comeback' for me, and said that he thought of us when he heard that song. It's like a dream come true to know that his mind is on us and me. I felt loved and respected and hopeful.

I love this thread. It's just what I need right now.


me, BW: 34
FWH: 35
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 3 and 6
Reconciling

Posts: 378 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nova Scotia, Canada
musiclovingmom
Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

This was one of those weeks where we just got bogged down in life - school, work, dr appts - just stuff. I was frustrated, stressed, grumpy and mostly unreceptive. My H didn't give up trying to make me feel special - complimenting me on dinner (one he knows is simple and takes almost no work), letting me go to bed early the night I had a migraine, bought some stuff I needed but would never buy for myself. And, last night, while I was sewing on Halloween costumes, he was in the same room working on his RC cars - usually he'd have stayed in the other room playing video games.

Posts: 1057 | Registered: Jan 2013
Hrtbrken1
Member
Member # 33802
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

FWH asked me if I wanted to check his texts before he deleted them (he was out of memory), and I said no! I also felt no need to go online and check phone records. Win!

Plus we named a .....errr....sex position after our favorite hamburger. That was a mix of awesome/humor I haven't felt in a long time. Made me love him even more


Me-BW
Him-WH
Together 16 years, married 10.
DDay 07/26/2011, 8 month EA/PA with friend of our family. Months of TT.
DDay#2 Early spring 2012, confirmed EA with another woman.

Posts: 144 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Sunny South
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

We made a HUGE payment on our first cruise this week. We are SOOO excited, for the first time in our lives we are putting our marriage and our family first and it feels SO amazing! I also start a new job on Monday that pays more than what I make now, and has amazing benefits that we desperately need.... but maybe that should be my post for next week?


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

We had a very long, emotionally exhausting talk this week in which we both shared, cried, and strove to understand each other''s point of view, that HE initiated! We came out with some really good questions we''re going to be asking in this week''s DIALOG with each other.

He got offered a job, but the offer was TRULY insulting. The recruiter tried to blame it on mis-communication. FWH was just crushed, hurt, and angry. We had a long talk about why, I reminded him that salary info was the first thing he gave to any recruiter, and I let him know that I would support any decision he made about the offer. He contacted the recruiter again, let him know that this was simply unacceptable, and told the recruiter to go earn his payment. Well, about 10 minutes ago, we received a call that said that the employer agreed to our (minimum) terms, so it looks like FWH will join the ranks of the employed again real soon! Hallelujah!

And I cracked up a bunch of people in the Fun & Games forum with one of my most embarrassing moments.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4715 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 21