((flourgirl)) Are you talking? You must. And if that is too hard write a letter. Let him know how you are feeling.
Are you in IC? MC? Have you read anything that is helpful? We both read, After the Affair by Janis A Spring, How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair and the 5 Love Languages. I have read most of the articles in the Healing Library as did he.
Feeling closer after such a betrayal is very difficult and takes time. It's really what you do in that time though.
We will have our 16th Anniversary in November. At first I wanted to think that we should only have 13 years together - not 16 bc afterall, he was unfaithful for 3 of our anniversary's. But you know what? We said for better/worse in those vows. This is the worse. I am keeping those three years too. We have a chance at something better from here on out.
No pressure for you to do anything to "celebrate". Do as you please. I just hope you can start to move forward in a way that make sense for you.