User Topic: Will this always be between us
Member # 35803
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, October 18th (Friday)

Just wondering if this is a normal feeling for all of you in R. Do you feel that there is always going to be something (the affair) always between you. I am not sure that I can grasp the concept of this not being something that will forever be between us. We are a year in and I am wondering if this thing is always going to be a "thing" that will separate us in some way. I am working on forgiveness and I know that I am not totally there.

BS- 35
married 11 years together 17
DD- 5/27/12
He walked out on me and the girls 5/26/12
Recovery started 9/15/12

Hoping for Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom!!!!

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: New York
Member # 32232
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, October 18th (Friday)

3 years out and it is still there for me. I have forgiven and ok in that regard. It doesn't occupy my entire waking hours as it did in the early days, and I don't often specifically think of it, but it is there.

Posts: 717 | Registered: May 2011
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, October 18th (Friday)

I'm not sure that it ever goes away, but it transitions from a gaping wound to a scar, and scars become a part of us. They're subtle reminders of where we've been, but they don't affect our day-to-day as much as the years pass.

I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17335 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 3