User Topic: Will this always be between us
Member # 35803
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, October 18th (Friday)

Just wondering if this is a normal feeling for all of you in R. Do you feel that there is always going to be something (the affair) always between you. I am not sure that I can grasp the concept of this not being something that will forever be between us. We are a year in and I am wondering if this thing is always going to be a "thing" that will separate us in some way. I am working on forgiveness and I know that I am not totally there.

BS- 35
married 11 years together 17
DD- 5/27/12
He walked out on me and the girls 5/26/12
Recovery started 9/15/12

Hoping for Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom!!!!

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: New York
Member # 32232
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, October 18th (Friday)

3 years out and it is still there for me. I have forgiven and ok in that regard. It doesn't occupy my entire waking hours as it did in the early days, and I don't often specifically think of it, but it is there.

Posts: 718 | Registered: May 2011
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, October 18th (Friday)

I'm not sure that it ever goes away, but it transitions from a gaping wound to a scar, and scars become a part of us. They're subtle reminders of where we've been, but they don't affect our day-to-day as much as the years pass.

Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17838 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 3