User Topic: Need advice...
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, October 18th (Friday)

We r in R but my gut is becoming a little itch I can't scratch.
It started about 1 week ago just got worse...
Not sure how to explain but feel like something is off.
We around here have been told to trust our gut.
We have been going to counseling but he has not done anything that the counselor has said.
He says I love u only after I do. I want him to
take my hand when we are walking or driving...
text me during the day
to say hey I'm thinking about u.
How is ur day going. I love u.
Maybe I'm expecting too much to soon.
I told him in our sessions this is important to me.
He says that's not the way he is.
Well u can change right?
Counselor says do u want to love her the way she wants to be loved or the way u want to do it...cause that way didn't work well.
WH knows something is bothering me and he asks but not sure I can trust him with my gut feelings. He always told me I was crazy before.
I don't even know if I can explain well enough for him to understand.
I just don't know what to do...

[This message edited by FogHater at 9:48 PM, October 18th (Friday)]

I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
Member # 34041
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, October 18th (Friday)

Are you feeling that he isn't meeting your emotional needs or it is false recovery?

sorry post on my tablet

Posts: 313 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: pricklepatch
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, October 18th (Friday)

This may have TMI...sorry
Emotional needs r not being met for sure.
Possible false R...
I keep thinking back 3yrs ago when I found out about affair he told her it was over. I heard him tell her over speaker that it was over. She went crazy threatened me and to keep peace I think he went back to her and took it underground.
Now it's going on six weeks and at first he said she was mad as hell...
Threatened me as well as him..i told him to ignore her walk away...
He kept telling me she was stalking him at work yelling at him as they were going to work and leaving work
She messaged me a few times on FB. I'm afraid this is what's happening now.
I have other issues that lead me to believe it's still going on.
Personal reasons like getting yeast infections...odor and pimples?

I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
Member # 25743
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, October 18th (Friday)


Get thee to a doctor pronto. You know all of the sleuthing that is now necessary. If you are not convinced that all is well, then ease your own mind and check things out.

Your list of possible scenarios for his re-entry into the affair sound very possible to me. I am so sorry, because it seems so cowardly, especially after you have clearly told him of your needs.

Remember, make the appointment first and then start checking things out.

Posts: 466 | Registered: Oct 2009
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

I had a yearly checkup in July and all was good.
We haven't had sex for maybe a week...things have calmed down...down there. He has back problems and ED. I am frustrated with His ED gets angry when he can't do it. I tell him he needs to go to the DR and get different meds the one he has doesn't work. His back is another frustration...I just don't think he wants to try....just wants to say sorry can't do anything cause I have always done in the past. Never pushed the issue, because I knew he was having an affair with shrek!!
He says we can't afford for him to go to the DR which just to get meds that don't work.I understand but this is important to me...I don't know how to stress how important this.

[This message edited by FogHater at 8:05 AM, October 19th (Saturday)]

I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 5