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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Omg...save me from lunacy!!!
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

Our dissolution was granted THIS morning. POS agreed to everything in court. Then I get this text a few minutes ago: "I changed my mind and will advise the court on Monday that I will be filing for a divorce."

He has COMPLETELY lost his mind! Just when I thought I had reached the light at the end of the tunnel!!! Holy shit!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare


Posts: 827 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Gemini71
Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

Can he even do that?! Let's hope he's just trying to wind you up. I think the judge would be extremely angry if XPOS tries this. While the papers aren't completed, the court has ruled. XPOS is SOL.


Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 995 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

If the dissolution was granted and signed, the deal is done. He has to follow the rules of the state. In my state changes cannot be made for years unless something drastic has changed.

He is just being his crazy self. Ignore and carry on,

And congrats for loosing the anchor.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2373 | Registered: Jan 2010
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

He's blowing smoke, trying to get a reaction from you. He can't do jack.

Have another wine, and ignore.


BS(me) 46, kids DS 17, DD 14.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5225 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

The hell?!? D. Lusional.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22649 | Registered: Aug 2011
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

Huh??? WTF.

How does he think that *he* can now file for divorce.....when the freaking marriage has been dissolved as of today? I seriously don't.get.it. How does he think that he can now file for divorce? It was ALREADY filed and is now done.

I would be very hard-pressed to not respond and ask "changed your mind about....WHAT?"....just to get a glimpse into his thought process.

I find it highly unlikely that this guy is going to get a *do-over*. Just *smh*......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCyL6pa_L4M


Posts: 7247 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

How does he think that *he* can now file for divorce.....when the freaking marriage has been dissolved as of today? I seriously don't.get.it. How does he think that he can now file for divorce? It was ALREADY filed and is now done
That is exactly what I was thinking. How can you divorce if the marriage has been dissolved ?
I agree relax and ignore until you hear something different from your attorney.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
breakingpoint
Member
Member # 40963
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

He is probably panicking that there is no more reasons to be in contact, keeping the drama going, etc. So he is just grabbing at anything to insert himself into your life.

Posts: 115 | Registered: Oct 2013
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

Ignore him and go on. He's not worthy of a response.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

I have had NC since August, but I am SO tempted to respond back with "go for it" and attach a pic of him, OW3, and OC that he is still hiding (though he is currently living with) he doesn't know I have. After all, I told him I would originally file for divorce on grounds of adultery if he didn't play nice with a dissolution. The pic would render him speechless (I live in a fault or no fault state).

*sigh* Guess I will just give crickets, but this really pisses me off! Perhaps when he calls the court on Monday he will realize he can't have a "do over." Even filing an appeal, for which there are no grounds, has a fucking legal process, you stupid, fucking moron!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare


Posts: 827 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, October 20th (Sunday)

NO RESPONSE. If he can, he will but it doesn't sound like he can so dude has simple gone car-ayzay.

Did you both sign something today? It might be different in the US but here we sign everything before court and the court just formalises it.

But seriously, how awesome would it be to be able to divorce them twice in one go?


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4553 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, October 20th (Sunday)

Did you both sign something today? It might be different in the US but here we sign everything before court and the court just formalises it.

No, we don't sign anything here as all documents are signed upon filing. The judge rules as to whether it is fair and equitable in the eyes of the court (which he did), and asks both parties if they agree with and understand all consequences of the settlement, to which we both responded we did. Then we receive the actual signed documents in 2-3 weeks. This hearing was conducted in front of a magistrate as it was considered a rubber stamp hearing. The magistrate has full judicial authority to rule on the dissolution, but it must be signed by the actual judge assigned to the case (and that is just procedural as the magistrate's ruling is always accepted).

Geez. Why can't the moron go back under the rock from which he slithered and leave.me.alone!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare


Posts: 827 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

He will have serious credibility problems testifying under oath that he agrees he understands the terms and conditions on Friday then ringing up the court on Monday and changing his mind.

In my thinking, he has a snowball's chance in hell. I would pop some popcorn and settle back to watch the show. He is going to do himself major damage in the eyes of the court.

Cat

[This message edited by Catwoman at 12:04 PM, October 20th (Sunday)]


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29473 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
StepAside
Member
Member # 29826
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

"I changed my mind and will advise the court on Monday that I will be filing for a divorce."

Oh Omnipotent One, you made a funny!

Oh my...let me wipe away this tear...whew!


Me 47yrs, douche midlife crises poster boy- 49yrs
DitchPig -45yrs Shrek in drag.
Last Dday April 12/10-Divorcing
We live in a world where the fear of illusion is real

Posts: 1502 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: The Cheese Stands Alone
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

he has lost his ever loving mind.



D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 2793 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 3:29 AM, October 21st (Monday)

Maybe he sent the message to the wrong wife Maybe it was meant for OW upteen?


"You can never have too much happy!"

Posts: 1149 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
k94ever
Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, October 21st (Monday)

Soooo...........

Is there an update?

Seriously....this is funnier than most of the sitcoms on TV.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6329 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, October 21st (Monday)

Yeah...crazy doesn't begin to describe that. It takes a special level of crazy to tell your now EX-WIFE that you're filing for divorce.


My ex is threatening to take me back to court to change the orders he agreed to in court and was finalized just ONE month ago. ...and no there have been no big changes in that short amount of time. He actually got a small raise! The only change has been his understanding of how poorly he is managing his finances (of course without understanding that HE is the one screwing himself over with piss-poor choices).

At this point I know better than to worry about what idiotic mess he can brainstorm.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, October 21st (Monday)

Is there an update?

Nothing as of yet, but I will be watching the case online for any heads up as it is posted there long before anything goes in the mail.

I did some checking though, and IF he wants to appeal it for whatever stupid reason he comes up with in his deluded brain, he only has 30 days to file it. It also states specifically that appealing is both very time consuming and expensive (minimum of two years) so everyone is warned to think long and hard before going down that road, and to obtain legal advice first. XPOS doesn't have a pot to piss in, so I am not thinking that is a viable option for him.

I will, of course, keep everyone here posted on this latest round of ridiculousness, if for no other reason than to give you a good laugh at his expense...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare


Posts: 827 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, October 21st (Monday)

All I know is that we're going to need a nickname for this genius.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22649 | Registered: Aug 2011
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, October 21st (Monday)

All I know is that we're going to need a nickname for this genius.

PLEASE bring on the suggestions!!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare


Posts: 827 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Topic Posts: 21