SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Pregnant A Month After Our Divorce?
NGFinishLast
New Member
Member # 38233
Suspicious  Posted: 10:47 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

I'm 90% certain that Ex-WW had an abortion this morning. She might as well have a sign attached to her head that lights up whenever she lies.

She was nauseous last week and when I joked that she might be pregnant, I saw a light go off in her head. A few hours later I got a text asking me to keep our daughter all weekend because she needed to go to the doctor. (All weekend for that?)

When she called to say goodnight to our daughter I "casually" asked if everything was okay. She said (and here's where that "I'm lying" light would come in handy) that it turned out to be stomach flu, so the doctor gave her prescription strength painkillers that she has to take all weekend. For that reason, she can't be around our daughter until Monday.

We're divorced, so she can have or not have whatever kids she wants. I just feel a little sour because her doctors told her for years that they suspected her weight was the reason she wasn't getting pregnant. She was close to 300 most of the time, but would never do what she needed to do to lose weight. I wanted a big family so badly, but I never took my disappointment out on her. As soon as she got with the OMs she dropped about 150lbs. The thought that she got pregnant less than a month after our divorce stings.

I know that I'm still young, but I got married at 21. I had my whole 20s to have kids and didn't because I was trying to be understanding and supportive of someone who ended up screwing me over.

It sucks.


D-Day: January 2013
Me, BH: 31
Her, WW: 31
Married 10 years
Kids: Daughter, 3
Divorced: Sep 2013

Posts: 46 | Registered: Jan 2013
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, October 20th (Sunday)

((NGFL)) I know it sucks.

It doesn't matter what age you are none of us expected to be having children with different fathers/mothers in order to have more children.

You cannot know for sure.

How is this for irony. The sad clown was adamant that he wanted a vasectomy after DD2 (I was diligently on the pill when I fell pregnant).

I knew I didn't want more children and urged him to consider that if something happened between us (which did, a mere 12m later) or something happened to me and the girls. He was still adamant that he wouldn't want more children no matter what. I still convinced him to freeze some sperm 'just in case'. I think WTF? now.

A few weeks after S I saw a statement come through showing he had paid the next years storage fee. I wasn't detached at all back then and I felt so hurt/angry about it. Not at all the same to your situation but it is in a similar neighbourhood.

None of it is fair brother. There is less/more unfair. This is definitely in the more unfair part of the pie.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5560 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, October 20th (Sunday)

it turned out to be stomach flu, so the doctor gave her prescription strength painkillers that she has to take all weekend.
Yeah... because doctors ALWAYS give you prescription strength painkillers for the stomach flu, so you can throw them right back up. Like this:

Sometimes, this bullshit is the best they can come up with on the fly.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3352 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, October 20th (Sunday)

^^^^ ^^^^


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8007 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, October 20th (Sunday)

I'm sorry for the added pain that this brings.

There is suspicion that Xperv may have an OC. Of course he is adamant that he does not, but he is adamant about many things! (sarcasm)

There is also rumor that he ran out and had a vasectomy soon after DS was conceived and there was a period of time when he declared himself "completely unavailable" to us. ETA the people who told me this aren't liars or gossips.

I, too, put aside my wish for a large family because he didn't want one and I wanted to please him. I come from a mid-sized disfnunctional family and craved the sense of family that his large one brought. However, now I understand that they're even more dysfunctional than my own and I no longer envy them, but the bigger ones that function all right.

And I'm angry at many things along the lines of this thread, like the idea of being sold thoughts that nuclear family living is the goal we should have, when we work so darn hard for it and it's so easily blown to smithereens.

His excuse for not having more was the toll the pregnancy was for DD and he never even actually asked or tried to work with me on research how it would be again. That would take work and may make conflict.

Sorry for my long post, just replying to say, I get it.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 9:34 AM, October 20th (Sunday)]


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
NGFinishLast
New Member
Member # 38233
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Thanks. Good to see that I'm not crazy for being pissed off. It's been a few days and I'm getting over it. It could be a lot worse. I have a friend whose husband just walked out two years after R from his A and four months after their last child was born.

Some people only decide what they want/don't want after they've eliminated your options completely.


D-Day: January 2013
Me, BH: 31
Her, WW: 31
Married 10 years
Kids: Daughter, 3
Divorced: Sep 2013

Posts: 46 | Registered: Jan 2013
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Yeah, that sucks :(


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Some people only decide what they want/don't want after they've eliminated your options completely.

Man, that quote is solid gold truth!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9687 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Faithful w/Love
Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Love the quote. Very true!


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2676 | Registered: Aug 2011
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Some people only decide what they want/don't want after they've eliminated your options completely.

This is true. I also think many of us made certain decisions in good faith based on what we now know to be faults information. I feel defrauded - big time.

I don't believe he has obliterated all options for me though. He has certainly obliterated himself as an option for me - there are options tied to him that have also been obliterated but those are in no way ALL of my options.

It is still a big bowl of suck.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5560 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
courageous
Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I has my tubes tied just two months before exwh cheated because he didn't want any more kids..... The kicker he had discussed having a new family with MOW to replace the kids.

I was devastated that I had to start over trying to find a guy that would be willing to love me and my kids and not be disappointed to not have any of "our" kids. Luckily I found just that guy. It sucks starting over and having the future ripped from us but it will get better for you.. I promise!


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 650 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 11