SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: Floundering here
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

I just feel like ....I'm tired.

I have been seeing someone, but he obviously isn't putting the effort that I am into some kind of future relationship.

So, here I am, staring another holiday season in the face, alone. This is by no means a "poor me" post, but I just feel lost.

I feel like I have a lot to offer someone. I realize that my happiness is not dependent on some man, but I would like so much to be a part of a family, to be able to participate in that dynamic.

And, here I am on another Sunday night, alone, staring another week in the face.

Ugh.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7537 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
259
Member
Member # 22860
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

hugs wm,

tomorrow is another day, hopefully you will wake up feeling more positive.

you are not alone in feeling like this, and you are heard, and maybe that old cliché is true - its always darkest before the dawn.

your dawn could be just round the corner.

more hugs (((WM)))


Me = FBS
Him = gone


things that happen in my life do not define who I am. I get to choose to be the best I can be, for me. cause I'm worth it.


Posts: 286 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: my happy place (most of the time)
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

I hear you. I am about to be divorced (I hope) and will be on my own, not for the first time. I have no family living. I find the holiday season daunting, too. I do have children so I try to focus on them and giving them a good experience which helps.

However, not all families are happy ones. I had dinner with a family last night and seeing the parents getting mega stressed and snap at each other made very glad to be out of a relationship.

The grass is always greener.....


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

((()))


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 2989 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
welcome14
Member
Member # 26741
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

I feel you. My last relationship ended in February when I caught him cheating (three in a row for me, yay!) and I have been alone since, only dating a few times because I feel like I can't be bothered to put in the effort. My bestie's husband even said a few weeks ago that he didn't understand, I was the total package, have so much to offer..(she was there of course). Sometimes, ya just have to step back to plan B. Enjoy your doggies and fulfill yourself. The happier I am, the more offers pop up. I am holding out this time for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now, and you should as well. Someone out there is healthy and whole and looking for an awesome woman, and you will find him when the time is right. Even with that said, I know that the biggest thing I have to look forward to in the holidays is the Glitter Bomb Exchange- otherwise known as the SI Christmas Card Exchange. That was a very nice pic of you and ur babies the year before last, btw. ((hugs))


Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.


Posts: 1169 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

Right here with you.


(((williesmom)))


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

(((williesmom)))


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12144 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

(((((Williesmom)))))


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20001 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

(((Willie))
I logged in to post a simar topic myself... Feeling another fall/winter season (with tons of family get togetherness) coming up and I'm alone.
*sigh*
I have no advice to offer, just know you are not alone
..PR..

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jun 2012
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

((hugs)) Your posts are usually so upbeat. It is very hard going through the holidays alone. I hope that you can surround yourself with some good friends over the season. We have a lot of friends and co-workers out here who have no family nearby and always end up with a houseful. It helps me fill the ache of not having my own family nearby.


divorced!

Posts: 2664 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
heartbroken30
Member
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

(((Willies mom)))). You are not alone in this. I often feel like falling in love again isn't in the cards for me. Big hugs to you


Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

(((Williesmom))) I am in the same place. It is sad.


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2628 | Registered: Jan 2010
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

(((Hugs))) I get it.

I'm seeing someone but it's very slow, which is fine, but the holidays are not going to be together.

I was thinking this morning while working on my list for today, how much I miss having a partner to tag team chores, errands, and make the mundane stuff more fun. It's not much fun doing it all alone.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4456 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

((((Williesmom)))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5013 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

(((Williesmom)))

you are fantastic. you do have a lot to offer. don't ever doubt that


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8439 | Registered: Apr 2008
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, October 21st (Monday)

I totally understand that feeling, but I really try to rock the holidays.

I have younger kids, so it is easy for me to focus on them, but I do stuff for me too. I decorate for me, I buy myself presents, I plan a little holiday party for my girlfriends...

Dump the guy, he isn't giving you what you want, and find something that you love about the holidays and focus there.

((((WM)))))


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4110 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, October 21st (Monday)

This ^^^^.

We have to make our own joy. It's not an easy thing to learn and master, but if you want to achieve core happiness from within, it's something to think about.

Big huge hugs to you sweetie. You are worth all the joy life can give you.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17317 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, October 21st (Monday)

(((Williesmom)))


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, October 21st (Monday)

(((WM)))


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2585 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, October 21st (Monday)

((((Williesmom))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24972 | Registered: Aug 2011
Weatherly
Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, October 21st (Monday)

(((((((williesmom)))))))

Do you have any family to spend the holidays with? I know it isn't the same, I just hope you won't be alone.

[This message edited by Weatherly at 12:12 PM, October 21st (Monday)]


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4485 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, October 21st (Monday)

Thanks, all.

I do have family in the area, but they're all nurses. We usually end up celebrating holidays on a date that isn't the actual holiday. I also have a platonic friend that always invites me to spend the holidays with his family, but I'm trying not to encourage him.

It's not that I don't have joy(I definitely do). I just feel like I would like to share that joy with someone else.

I'm trying very hard to not become the crazy cat lady!


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7537 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, October 21st (Monday)

(((Williesmom)))


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3081 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, October 21st (Monday)

I'm trying very hard to not become the crazy cat lady!

This meme needs to die.

I think it belittles women who choose to live alone.

We don't apply this image to solo males do we? If there is one, I haven't heard it.

Mad dog maybe?


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17317 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
LearningToRun
Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, October 21st (Monday)

Im dating a crazy cat guy, so it happens.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Feb 2011
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, October 21st (Monday)

I'm trying very hard to not become the crazy cat lady!

well that's understandable, seeing as you're already the crazy about corgis lady.

I know it's so, so very hard when we would like our lives to be one way, but for some reason we're not headed in the direction we thought we would be by this point in our journey. We have to have hope, and believe it will get better, and we will get the life we want. hugs again, (((Williesmom))).


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12144 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, October 21st (Monday)

((Williesmom))

I SO feel you sweetie. I've been single now a year and a half.... and the most I've had is 3 1st dates....no 2nds. It is what it is I guess. I know I have a lot to offer someone... and I know that someone would be super lucky to have Piper and I....but I also know that dating as a single mom is not easy.....and sucks....and is exhausting.... so I fully expect to spend yet another Christmas alone.

It saddens me if I let it.... but I refuse to. I'm running my 3rd marathon this weekend and I'm excited! My last one was ruined by sperm donor who decided "out of the blue" that he wanted to run a marathon since I ran one....so he roped me into running another one not 6 months after my 1st....(I wasn't really mentally ready to....and had an awful race). But, this time.... I AM ready.... and I'm excited.... and nervous.... and its going to be great! I just know it!

We will be part of a family dynamic again one day! I have a great family.... just no man in the mix... but I am trying to be patient...

But, I know its not easy.... for sure...


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2716 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Topic Posts: 27