SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: the foggy brain of the BS post-S
heartbroken_kk
Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I worked really hard to put together a binder for all my D documents so I would be organized. I even went and put the important dates in my calendar.

I got the date of our settlement conference wrong. It's THIS FRIDAY, not NEXT WEDNESDAY.

Why did my brain get so F'd up with the PTSD and depression and despair????

I just want to be able to think clearly and be back on my game as a fully functioning vibrant person.

I was planning to visit my dad in the next state, leaving tomorrow. It's a 12 hour drive.

I sent STBXWHNPDPAFTG an email (normally I'm strict NC) asking if we could combine the settlement conference with the spousal support hearing but I bet you he doesn't respond (to punish me for NC). I guess I need to go down to court today and request a continuance.

sigh.


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1006 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I know, I have it too, big time. It sucks. Sometimes I even forget where I am or how I got to where ever I am. I forget stuff with my dds all the time, despite really trying to remain in the moment with them.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2496 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Two years out, I'm just starting to get what the date is or realize that time has moved.

Eating and other functions are still not coming "normally", but some of the fog is lifting.

The ptsd came here to and some other things, separation anxiety from my children is one. I can't stand it when DD is gone and don't relax until she comes back.

There are steps to work on these things, though and realizing we have them is first.

Realizing that the person is gone and we're okay, somehow, is another. That's where I am most days.

I think getting our game back on comes in stages and a few people have told me that it's not something we will notice like a light bulb or baseball bat on the head...

For me, I notice small spurts of energy and recently I pulled out papers from an old project I was writing. This was my first indication that I was interested in anything about life other than my kids and their needs.

I realized too, that I miss me and who I was and would like to see who I can become, too. I don't want the PTSD anymore, I don't want to care a whit.

I'm not attracted anymore, so what's the deal?


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1965 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 3