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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: did your ex move out of state during D
lifestoshort
Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

how does this go if so? I suspect it will happen to me after the initial hearing. D should be in Feb. if he doesn't show up, what happens? they just read me my info and grant it and send it to him? I believe some people do conference calls but our city is pretty small so Im not sure if they delay it cause he moved. I cant imagine someone would have to fly/drive back for that unless they contested something.

Im not really asking for anything other than 2 months he pays half the bills. (not mortgage)


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 660 | Registered: Mar 2008
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Yes, XPerv moved out of state but found a crappy L who works in both. He just drives across the line to the courthouse or law office.

I think the taxes will be a little different over the border than here and some of the custody laws may be, as well.

I don't know if this is accurate for everywhere, but here he has to appear in person.

One reason I filed first was to make sure it would take place here and not be me going there.

Actually, now he spends time complaining about gas money to visit DD or go to the legal meetings and he blames it on us and this state...not what he did.

I wish you luck and hope you get what you need.


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1955 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
lifestoshort
Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

thank you! no kids, owned a house prior to marriage. so isn't much to fight over.


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 660 | Registered: Mar 2008
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

FT moved out the country, to Thailand. Yes D was here and he made the trips back here to attend.
We had a few reschedules because he was ill or whatver his lame excuses were back then. I kept PUSHING...


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

That's lucky! Maybe you'll be done sooner than later.

Good luck.


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1955 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Yep. XPOS moved out of state about a week after last D-Day. When dissolution papers were filed (he signed them and sent them to me), he also signed a waiver to appear because it would be a "hardship" for him to appear. He had to provide a landline phone number to receive a collect call for the hearing. They called him and it was conducted telephonically. Didn't affect anything. Had he not answered the phone call it would not have caused any delay because he formally waived his right to appear, and the phone call was just a courtesy not a necessity. Normally, if they just don't show, without any legal request not to appear, they consider it a default and move ahead anyway.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare


Posts: 824 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

My X moved out of state shortly after dday. By the time I filed for D he had lived there long enough to establish residency and my L warned me that he could counter sue in his new state and ask for a change of venue. Thankfully he never did that and actually never got a L. I think you have to live in the state 6 months to establish residency.

Anyway, in my state the defendant in a D does not have to attend court at all for an uncontested D. I only had to go to the prelim hearing and we already had a signed settlement by then. My L went to the final hearing but I did not have to be there.

So the answer is that it depends upon your state and sometimes even your county. Do you have a L? If so then this is a question for the L. Otherwise call the court and ask.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17263 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
lifestoshort
Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

no lawyer yet. have one that I plan to see but not sure if I can afford.
Im guessing he will only stay till Dec or after hearing. hes done with school semester then and no reason to stay here. he has no friends or family. he hasn't built anything for himself the whole time he was in this state.


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 660 | Registered: Mar 2008
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

No. But I wish he did. I wish he would move to a remote country on the other side of the world!


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1509 | Registered: Aug 2010
lifestoshort
Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

just found hes staying to get the divorce and then some. gah. i said you can go while divorcing- nah, he'd rather be in my space.


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 660 | Registered: Mar 2008
Topic Posts: 10