User Topic: Too much SI?
Member # 37902
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I spend A LOT of my time here on SI. SI has been invaluable to me in healing and recovery and understanding. However, I realize that over the course of the past 10 months, I have not been as productive as I should be IRL because I do spend so much time lurking on SI.

I owe my sanity to SI, but is there such a thing as too much SI? I bounce around from forum to forum trying to seek answers -- answers to questions which I may never acquire.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm on SI so much that it's unhealthy. Could I be addicted to SI?

Posts: 140 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 39722
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I know what u mean, even tho its helped me so much, I feel that I too spend way too much time here, analysing everything.

I look for answers and come up with more questions, I feel ok when I take a peep and by time im logged out, im up an running again with questions for my H ...

Me & Hubby = aged 46
Together 16 years
Married 9 years
He had 1 yr EA in chat room then 6mths EA phone/texting with same woman.
Cyber sexed with many OW in chat room for at least 1 year.

Posts: 123 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: UK
Member # 34671
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Sometimes it feels like too much for me also but I don't seem to be able to stay away. At this point, I don't even know why...I'm not really getting answers to any unanswered questions. I may occasionally give some input but feel like I'm no expert. So what is the draw? It is the same with the checking up. It takes me down sometimes when I realize how much my life has changed in the last two years :(

Me - BS 55
H - WS 57/very remorseful and supportive
Kids 29, 26, 22
D-Day 8-5-11
discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic

Posts: 318 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Member # 35238
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I understand your concerns. I was off the site for a few months because it a) made me sad/envious when I saw other people in R while I was in limbo, b) made me trigger at times, and c) forced me to see things I wasn't ready to deal with.

However, I come back when I need the support or feel strong enough to offer support to others. In fact, I've been quite active here over the past couple of weeks.

This is the only place I can turn to that is filled with people who really know what I'm going through. No one is here to judge me.

I think it's healthy to vent and to connect with people who can understand your pain. As long as it doesn't take you away from your responsibilities (family, work, etc.), you're doing fine

BS: Me (41)
WS: Husband (47)
Married 9 years
Two children 6 & 17 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Separated - not R, not D.

Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Yeah, I would say I was addicted to SI.. But you have to give your IRL friends and family a break.. Even though I was constantly thinking about the infidelity, they didn't want to keep hearing it.. And no one here ever told me to shut up about it already, even if they thought it.

xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2316 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Member # 37902
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I haven't and don't really talk about infidelity too much anymore. I just read and read and read.

Sometimes while I'm out and about, I catch myself thinking, "I'd much rather be at home and reading on SI." Or I wonder to myself, "I wonder how ____ is doing with his/her situation." Then I log onto SI before I even check my email.

I'm starting to think I am on SI too much...

Posts: 140 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I think we all have cycles.
There are times of high need when I am on here several times a day.
Then there may be a week or two when I don't even check in.
But it's great to have as a tool when needed.

Are you in IC? That can also be a great resource and I highly recommend it.

I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 7