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User Topic: And I keep finding more...
Melodere
New Member
Member # 41047
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I remembered I know the password to hubby's desktop... so of COURSE I went snooping. I found quite a few more hook-up sites he frequents. It looks like he sent messages on one YESTERDAY (I have already confronted him once, but clearly he doesn't know the extent of what I KNOW).

But the kicker? He replied to a craigslist ad a few weeks ago. And I managed to log into what appears to be an old craigslist account (couldn't figure out if he has a new one) and 3 year ago he posted an AD on craigslist. When I was 39 weeks pregnant. Nice.

It's more and more looking like he never stopped after our confrontation 5 year ago (EA), and who knows how long it was going on before that.

I'm just feeling today like I just want out. If I've NEVER been "enough", I never will be.

I found a local therapist with experience in SA, I'm going to get an appt with her for me, and discuss getting him in with her, too (I might try to get in before I confront him again). I also am going to talk to a lawyer and get my ducks in a row.

I don't WANT to leave. I WANT him to quit this bullshit. But if leaving is what has to be done, I WILL do it. :( Let's just hope he goes to see the therapist and gets his act together.


Me: 36 BW
Him: 35 WH
Together: almost 13 years
Married: almost 9 years
4 kids, one grandson
DD #1: Fall 2008 (EA, plans to meet up with OW found)
DD #2: October 2013 (excessive porn, "hook up sites", naked photos of him... just like 2008)

Posts: 5 | Registered: Oct 2013
OldCow18
Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Oh man, I am so sorry. How awful all this time later.

I don't WANT to leave. I WANT him to quit this bullshit. But if leaving is what has to be done, I WILL do it.

I totally relate to this ^^


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I don't WANT to leave. I WANT him to quit this bullshit. But if leaving is what has to be done, I WILL do it.

I'm so sorry, Hon. I tortured myself for years with that very sentiment. ((((HUGS))))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9810 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Sparkle0504
Member
Member # 40379
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

((((Melodere))))

I am in a similar place and my heart goes out to you.

I installed a keylogger on my SAWH's laptop and phone mid September, which confirmed what, deep down, I already knew - he has a massive addiction. Current situation is that he will not discuss it at all face to face and I have emailed him daily for the last 24 days (not aggressively, just trying to get some communication going) and he has not opened a single one. He simply feels that if he doesn't acknowledge it, then it hasn't happened.

Screenshots say otherwise, my conversations with many OW say otherwise, and last, but not least, my own conversations with him with me pretending to be OW on four different occasions over the last year, say otherwise.

I am within days of being ready to say "start facing up and talking, or I leave". It's been really, really hard to come to this. I love him so much and the last thing I want to do is go.

It's shockingly painful - for me it's been two and a half years and each discovery feels like the first and, finally, enough is enough.

Be strong, do what is right for YOU and your kids, not him - he's got to shape up or ship out and gave up the right to expect you to stay the first time he cheated on you - addicted or not.

Look after yourself - it's what I'm doing now, finally.


Me 44 (BS) Him 52 (SAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011

The truth hurts, but nowhere near as much as the lies
"Sounds harsh, but she's my wife and I'm supposed to be there when she's having sex" Sal1995


Posts: 220 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: England
Melodere
New Member
Member # 41047
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I forgot to say I went snooping because I caught a glimpse of a photo of him half naked (in our bathroom, so I KNOW it was him) on his tablet, but I don't know where he shared it. So I was snooping for that.


Me: 36 BW
Him: 35 WH
Together: almost 13 years
Married: almost 9 years
4 kids, one grandson
DD #1: Fall 2008 (EA, plans to meet up with OW found)
DD #2: October 2013 (excessive porn, "hook up sites", naked photos of him... just like 2008)

Posts: 5 | Registered: Oct 2013
Lonelygirl10
Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I don't WANT to leave. I WANT him to quit this bullshit. But if leaving is what has to be done, I WILL do it. :(

That's how I feel too. Each time I caught him in another lie and threatened to leave, he would ask me some question like "so you prefer to be alone instead of cuddling in my arms on the couch" or "so you don't want to be with me?" It drove me crazy. Of course I prefer being in his arms. Of course I WANT to be with him. It has absolutely nothing to do with what I want. It's that we have to protect ourselves by doing what we NEED to do when we are with someone who lies repeatedly about everything.

Sorry you found more stuff. Hopefully he gets help and can be the man you need.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 6