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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I should be happy but I'm having a hissy fit
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

WH's lack of genuine remorse and refusal to own what he did has him moving out in 2 weeks and 3 days, a week after that the judge will officially call time of death on my marriage. I am NOT in a good place financially, I have almost lost my business a few times since Dday. To say I had no coping skills is an understatement.

Today I landed a large contract, paid in full, upfront. At least 2 full months of my household bills will be covered. This is the second largest contract I have signed. I should be jumping through the roof right? Well, I'm NOT.

I WANT my Husband to mean it when he says he wants us, I WANT him to mean it when he says he loves me, I WANT him to just own why he did so we can have our family back. I WANT to plan a vacation with him with the money. I WANT to maybe get a newer car. I WANT the man I married back. Clearly none of that is going to happen.

I can breathe easier thanks to my new client and I am too busy having a hissy fit that is actually my life. How do I stop being a spoiled brat and be grateful for this blessing instead of having a hissy fit? I hate this person I am right now.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I can completely relate to what you're feeling.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. It's ok to be angry right now - it won't always be like this. The fact that you have a peripheral awareness of the good things means that you will be able to feel their effects sooner than later.

(((sdl)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17764 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
laney57
Member
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Sodamnlost,
Hugs and strength. I so know how you feel, because I go through the same every few weeks. The end is near and we ask ourselves "that's all I wanted is my family?? And a little remorse". Nope, it never happened (well maybe 3 months). Keep reading, it does give me much strength seeing that others are making it!


Update 09/28/14
Me - BS, 44
Him - WH, 46
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
Divorcing 09/28/14

Posts: 230 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
Topic Posts: 3