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User Topic: Well that could have gone worse
maddmurph
Member
Member # 40940
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I explained I needed full disclosure about the A and full transparency going forward. She said it didn't matter because I would never trust her again. I said I won't if she won't be honest with me. She threatened to leave. I said fine. She then said she needed time to figure out how to tell me. I said I'm not waiting forever. Then i said get tested. She said no. I said we are done then. Then she went off about kissing my ass and I'm cold to her. Just trying to draw me into a fight. I said I'm not doing this forever. You either come back and rebuild a better relationship or not. She didn't say anything. So I said I gotta walk the dog.


Me - BS, 33
Her - WW, 33
DS 7, DD 3

Posts: 129 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: OH
Ascendant
Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Good job on standing your ground.


I refuse to let a wound ruin me.

Posts: 2039 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

I'm proud of you, madmurph. I wish I had showed the strength you're showing right after dday.

Posts: 1657 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
maddmurph
Member
Member # 40940
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

And she is downstairs crying and screaming.


Me - BS, 33
Her - WW, 33
DS 7, DD 3

Posts: 129 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: OH
iwillNOT
Member
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Let her cry and scream. Be calm, or leave for a bit if you need to. Don't get sucked in to the manipulation. Don't give in, don't engage.

(((strength)))


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 493 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
maddmurph
Member
Member # 40940
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

So I went down. Told her if she wants to talk I'm upstairs.

She comes up and goes on about how she hates herself and she is a terrible mom and she just needs a hug but the person who loves her the most won't. Then storms off. So I go downstairs and explain that I haven't been allowed to touch her so she has to ask for a hug. Hold her for a bit on the couch. She says she isn't happy, wants to be, wants to look at me and feel love but can't. I said you need counseling. She doesn't want to talk. I said I wont reject you and I want to trust you but it has to happen on my terms. So good night.


Me - BS, 33
Her - WW, 33
DS 7, DD 3

Posts: 129 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: OH
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

She comes up and goes on about how she hates herself and she is a terrible mom and she just needs a hug but the person who loves her the most won't.

AKA look at poor me, feel bad for me.

She definitely needs IC, stick to your guns. She hasn't even begun to think about the pain she has caused you. Everything is still about her...

Hoping she gets it, such a waste when they don't!


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 7