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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: should I bring up self employment at court
Must Survive
Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

So, short story, 3 weeks after final divorce settlement agreed upon STBXH "has lost his job". He immediately filed for modification of ss/cs.

I go next week to the court hearing (2 weeks after major surgery, dr does not advise, but STBXH lawyer did not change date after I requested)

I suspect that he is working on the side, he has his own business, does side jobs and has several friends that might employee him under the table. I can't follow him, I am not supposed to drive for another week. Anyway my 1st XH said I should wait 6 months then pull him into court because there is no way he is not making $. He is somehow living/supporting his fiance and her two kids. He says if I say things now in court, he will just hide better.

I think I want to bring it all up now so that the judge can do something about it. I don't have proof, other than his website, email signature, linked in etc show he has his own company also. And he supported us quite well a couple of years ago when he was out of work. Oh and someone actually called my house looking for him to do work for them.

Any thoughts.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 783 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Hell yes, give the court the info you have.Especially the phone call and print out internet stuff. Probably enough for court to question him more.
Hide it better ? Whatever ! He can't hide everything !


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Charity411
Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

Absolutely you should bring it up now. Don't wait. I regret that I never went after my ex's business records when he did exactly the same thing.

Posts: 388 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
twinkie
Member
Member # 29203
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

Must Survive, do you have a lawyer? If you do have your lawyer file for a continuance based on your doctors opinion.

The working on the side and under the table does need to be addressed ASAP however, your health issue should come first in this instance. This is a tough situation to be in and you can only do what is in YOUR best interest.

Also I do not know what state you are in but at 3 weeks out from final can he really file for a modification? Or has he appealed the final on the divorce?

[This message edited by twinkie at 10:56 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)]


Posts: 1064 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Louisiana
Must Survive
Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

Twinkie,

No lawyer, he was fired and I thought I was virtually done with the D. No $ to hire another one.

In the state I am in he can request modification due to extreme changes in $. He literally "lost" his job 3 days after I asked when I was going to get cs/ss.

I will be going, because if I don't decisions can be made. Also his lawyer uses inaccurate info to get her way.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 783 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I would definitely tell the court. He won't be the first guy to quit his job thinking he was going to avoid CS, and start working under the table. They've seen it before. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to really advocate for yourself. Show them the evidence that you have.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3412 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
chikastuff
Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

Just because he requests a modification doesn't mean they will grant it. Like others said, they see this BS every day and know the signs.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

My atty told me if my H loses his job thru his own fault, he still has to pay the cs.

My friend's husband tried what yours is doing and the judge told him he better get out and get a job because the $$$$ is due.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2215 | Registered: Jan 2012
Must Survive
Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

HomeWrecked,

I am in a very liberal state, and I really doubt I will get so lucky as to have a judge tell him anything like that.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 783 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Topic Posts: 9